I know I normally do the tea party… Or tech reviews. Or book reviews. And I know that y’all deserve better than a blah update… But I am just so exhausted. Between all of the writing and the stupid crap that people do to each other… I think that I need to recoup. So I am just going to post some fun memes
First the inspiration back story..
So… On tumblr I managed to by virtue of sheer exhaustion do something that has me so embarrassed. I had a talented poet enter into my asks wanting to recieve a poetry prompt. Now… I am on a midnight schedule. My boyfriend works midnight to 9am, roughly. So, I usually am in bed between 2ish pm and 11pm. Well, I am also an insomniac…. Yesterday was a no sleep day. The poet thanked me for posting it… And I in my exhaustion… I did not double check the response before sending it out. Autocorrect got me. I sent Your welcome instead of the You’re welcome that I thought I was sending. So I think that I will attempt the prompt myself as recompense.
The prompt was : memories buried.
©2019 Patricia Harris
Six feet down,
In fresh turned earth…
Lays love once so dear.
He chose another heart,
Betraying mine.
So his memory,
I buried.
To prevent my pain,
In hopes that it would
Never rise again.
As the wheel of time turned,
Away that heartache burned.
So here I am with shovel in hand,
At the graveside I stand.
Hoping to revive
All of the memories
Buried inside.
There are three things which dictate the way we live: the society we’re born into, the experiences which impact us, and the reality which we choose to believe in.
None of us can help the first two. No one gets to decide the time, place, or family they’re born into and, while we may have some control over our experiences in general, the things which impact us the most are usually out of our control.
It’s “thing” number three on the list which us mad people are experts at: reality. Or, rather one’s choice of reality.
Oh, you think reality is a fixed thing, do you? It’s solid, reliable, steadfast, and true? Well, my dear reader, allow a mad mind to enlighten you with one simple question….
Can you describe the color blue?
“Of course I can, you mad writer! Blue is…well…it’s blue- The color of the sky, of the ocean, of…those raspberry-flavored ice-pops from my childhood!”
Okay, now go and ask someone who grew up in Alaska or India or Japan, for that matter. Is their version of blue the same as yours? No. It isn’t. Better yet, ask a widower whose wife’s favorite color was blue to describe it. Then, ask a woman who’s color blind. Ask yourself the meaning on a sunny day and one on a day full of storms and sorrow.
Reality is fluid, flexible and the reason for this is because it changes based on our perception of the moment at hand. Want to know the secret to a mad life full of adventures? It’s quite simple:
Mad people get it because we already don’t like to be held down by something as paltry as reality. We understand from quite a young age that reality is meant to be questioned, to be rebelled against, to be contorted to our own quirky wills.
How do we do this? By choosing what we want to be true and then making it so:
“You can’t help that. We’re all mad here.”
-Cheshire Cat
Do you have any mad sayings that help you choose your reality? Share them with us!
Hello lovelies! Tonight, I have coffee instead of tea… And lots of it. I am in the home stretch for Beauty’s Tears – only 9 poems left to write. I am hoping to knock out the writing before the first. I likely will not be getting to Layout until December, but it means that Heart Drops will be started with the poems of the PAD challenge.
Fae Corps will be doing another round of daily prompts in November. I will probably be reblogging many of them. The first group got a good reception so we decided to do them for nano/poetry writers in November.
I have been approached by another poet/author about doing a guest blog. Her idea intrigued me! So I will be posting it as soon as she gets it to me for you to read. I enjoy her poetry so I believe that you will enjoy the post.
So… I am facing my fears… And then some. I asked about doing a author signing event yesterday. I also have found a craft fair to try and sell my art and crafts at. This is such a big thing. I have been making art, jewelry, and resin pieces. And due to fear, I have been sticking it all in bins. Anxiety often keeps me from doing. I was called out for my bs. Joe, my boyfriend, told me that if I was not going to do anything to sell or use it then I should stop making it. I hate it when he is right. So I am swallowing the what if I fail fear. The first craft show is a local hot dog sale on the first Saturday in November. I have to get to earning money for books for the signing event. I personally have 19 poetry volumes, 3 kids books, and a memoir. Plus Serena’s 2. And the anthology. That makes it expensive to have even a small amount of copies to sell. Those numbers just make me want to cry.
The beginning of the year will be seeing a lot of new things, from me and from Fae Corps. We have a lot planned. I will be seeing the release of my Beauty’s Tears and the anthology Faery Footprints in December. I am hoping that Serena will have a book ready for release with the new year. I am looking at the release of the audiobook version for the princess lost.
This year is still going to be bringing new challenges. What are you hoping to do before the end of 2019?
Today is a coffee day. So much on my mind today, and no where near enough sleep.
Did you see that my bestie has a new book out? You can get it here. I am so proud of her. She worked really hard to get it out.
I applied, and was accepted, for a position with Coffee House Writers. I will be doing a bi-weekly article for them. My anxiety is through the roof. After all what do I write? Especially for the first one. After I get used to it, I don’t think that it will be as bad. The article has to use 5 of their tags… Which are expansive, but I am not one who is used to conformity with tags. I am stuck in a debate whether to write an article, a story, or a poem. It is so much to think on.
Have you preordered Inspiration Without a Home yet? It releases on the 30th of September. It is a hard story for me, my own. Memoirs are never easy to write. This was not any different.
I have been working on my studio. I nearly have all craft and art supplies moved in. I still have to organize it. I will be posting pictures as I get it useable.
Social anxiety is no joke. I have jewelry pieces and paintings to sell. I have an online store but it is not as active as I would like. I think it is due to me not being as good at taking pictures of what I make. My resin pieces and art always look so much better in person. I can get a table at the local flea market for $5 a day. The problem is that I am terrified that I will make a mess of selling it. So I may be putting out time and money for a fail. I love making the pieces. But I am often putting a lot of money into crafting with no return. So I am planning to do the flea market the first weekend in October.
Today I am tired. I wanted to do a post, but I just need to take a break. I got approved to write for Coffee House Writers. My partner just released her first YA Novel. We have been dealing with both vehicles going down at once, and the riding lawn mower broke a belt. Add in changing out a broken dishwasher in my kitchen and it has been a busy week.
Now I don’t like to give excuses, you deserve a post. So I figure that I will share some of the inspiration memes I have. Back to the normally scheduled posts on Monday.
I know that I usually post poetry on Monday, but the last week has been a rough one for me and creating. Between a death in the family, that hit rather hard, and general aches and pains… This week has been a lot of “couch time”…basically me and my television have seen more of each other than I ever do.
There is always a little slow down after I publish a new volume. When I wonder if I am foolish and vain for publishing. When I acknowledge that I don’t do well with pushing the books that I already have out. When I wonder who I would be if I didn’t write. When the idea scares me, so I try to force it… And end up scraping a few really bad foced starts. This is the first month after I publish a new volume.
Then, I start actually calming down… Realize that I don’t have to sell it. I have written it. I have put it out into the world so that it can be seen. I have done my part. It is my job to write, not to force anyone to read it. Those who are meant to be be my readers will find it, as long as I keep sharing. Which I have been doing a bit more of. I have been putting my poetry on graphics and putting more on my blog, and Instagram. I have a public album on Facebook and a board on Pinterest. In the meantime what that time of panic and reflection often means is that I have nothing worth sharing today, except for the view of my weirdo neurotic mind. Some like that view though, so I decided to share.
Unlike Pluto – Villain in my own Story
Lyrics –
I was the one who wanted nothing
I was the one who lived in pain
I was the one who strived for nothing
I was the one who stood in rain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
I am the one that’s holding grudges
I am the one that lives in pain
I am the one who’s out of touch and
I am the one inflicting pain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
And I’ve been the bad guy for so long, I’m growing tired
Is it too damn late to twist the plot to turn it round
My two cents –
I have been doing a lot of thinking about perspective lately. Especially since writing my memoir. We are all the villain in someone else’s story. When we become the villain in our own story is when we start to change. I know that my story as seen by others was different than it was for me. I can’t speak from their point of view. I can only speak my truth. So, when I tell my story… It will always be shaded by my perception. How it affected me. How it changed me. I try to look at others perspective, but it is not easy with some situations.
Inspiration without a home is a memoir. My story. It is not completely linear… Nor should it be. There is stories about abuse, about rape. There is a life in those pages. Not a good life, but one lived. That life created the woman I am today. And I am at least remotely sure that I was the villain of some of the story as told by others.
©2019 Patricia Harris
Sleep elu,
Sitting in my bed
Still shaken from
The monsters that live
Inside my head.
Revisiting memories
Is far away from
The way that I need
To help me sleep.
Shaky in the dark,
I dare not turn on
The bright overhead light.
For though the fear
Blankets my skin,
I do not want
To awaken the ones
Who are still sleeping.
Ok. Here’s the deal. I am able to take on commissions. For poetry, art, jewelry (within certain guidelines), and book covers. Summer is winding down and I am looking for ways to be able to do more art and such during the Christmas season. So, if you want me to do something just for you… Now’s the best time.
Or if you just want to donate to see what I do with it… Here is my PayPal.
Or if you want to do it more than once… patreon offers many tiers.
