In a time of such marvelous inventions coming out, I am appalled by how many are designed to protect women from assault. Now don’t misunderstand. I am not saying women should be raped. I am not saying that the inventions are bad. I merely am appalled by the need for such items. I am a survivor. So I taught my children personal space and responsibility. I taught my son to respect women. I taught my daughter that her body is hers, and no one has the right to touch her without her permission. Yet, I know that there are people out there who would anyway. It kills me to know that someday she will not be safe. I am allowed the sadness that the world is not a safe place. I asked her what she would do if someone tried to grab her, tried to force her to do things against her will, and my beautiful twelve year old girl said ” I will kick him in the leg, then the nuts and I will scream! ” While crass, it feels good to know she won’t be a easy target. She doesn’t separate. If it’s someone she knows who tries to force her to do things or a stranger. Her body is hers. And I have made sure she knew it. I cannot help wondering if more children of both genders were taught that concept how the statistics of sexual assault and abuse would be? After all abusers seduce. They convince the child that even though the child is not comfortable with what is being done, that it is something the abuser is allowed to do. I mourn the need for the devices to “prevent ” sexual assault because I believe that if as children we are taught not to do or allow certain behavior… well as adults it wouldn’t happen. At least not as often. The ones who did at that point would be seen as deviants. They would then be treated as the criminals that they are.
Category: Self esteem
Poetry normality
I am a poet. My children to my pride have shown themselves capable of great pieces. Now I should mention that I have not always felt good about my poetry. I have so often been told how depressing it was that I took it to heart. However, I wrote because it was how I healed. As an abuse survivor, I learned that I needed an outlet for the poison that was forced into my soul. Or I would not ever be whole. So I wrote to heal. I wrote for the love of poetry. So I would never be as good as Emily Dickinson or Edgar Allen Poe. I wrote because it was part of me. I did not force anyone to read what I had written. So if it was depressing…. that was fine. I could accept that. Then I was talking to a social worker. I mentioned that my poetry was considered depressing. Though I think she was being sarcastic, she said something that got me thinking. She asked “Isn’t all poetry?” There are various types of poetry that express different emotions. Discounting sad poetry is basically like saying that feeling sad is unacceptable. Poetry should be able to have a nice range of emotions. It is after all an expression of the poets heart in word form. Then someone else I care about said that his beautiful poetry was so sad. My response “Poetry is often sad. I’m told mine are depressing. Just because they are sad doesn’t have to deny their beauty.” Not every poet can write greeting card poetry or love poems. And abusing the poets whose writing causes other emotions is not acceptable either.
Quote me knot
Tonight I was watching Gotham…when I got such a thrill. Dr. Hugo Strange quoted Alice in Wonderland. Which led me to offer it as a summer reading choice. I am planning a very busy summer with a couple of amusement parks and a long road trip. Still for me, Reading is a huge part of life. I am always carrying some book or another. So many of the best quotes are lines from this book or that. Inspirational words written in the stories many of us found comfort in. Each life finds a different quote to inspire, to encourage and to grow. The quotes that help me through darkness really depends on my life at the time. I often wonder why some quotes are considered to be inspirational. What quotes make you smile? Inspire you to be better?
Strong females to admire
I am one who leans towards a feminist bent in my point of view. Now saying that, It isn’t because I hate men or any such crazy thing as that. I merely think gender equality should be a duh statement. Part of this is because I am female. Part is because I have a daughter. Too often women are told that they should not be strong and independent. Media has come along way in the last two decades. There was so few in my late teens. When I was growing to adulthood there was Linda Carter as Wonder woman. Really on television (unless you were into British tv) she was it.
However in the last few decades strong female roles have popped up all over the place. My favorites (again limited to American television ) are Abby from Ncis, Bones from Bones, Abby from sleepy hollow, Claire from Outlander, Clarke from the 100, Whiskey from the dollhouse, Deanna Troi and Beverly Crusher from ST:NG, Ivanova from Babylon 5, Regina from Once upon a time. There are a few others, but the principal ideas are there. Many of those are strong intelligent women trying to survive in what is traditionally men’s jobs. That is what I think of as a good female role.
As a writer and a reader that is what I look for in my female character development. What do you look for? Which are your favorites on television?
Genetics or something else?
I am a poet first and a writer second. I just do better with poetry than I do with stories. I am not bad at stories, just better with poems. Now there is a reason I state that. My daughter came home and was asking about poetry. She has no patience with writing stories. So I was helping her with her poetry for English class. At this point I was tickled to find out that she enjoys writing poetry. Mind you I have had three children. My eldest has written one beautiful poem. Then he allowed his own self doubt to keep him from writing. My middle one (who due to situations I refuse to explain here was given up for adoption at birth ) writes wonderful poetry. I am so tickled that the three of them have shown such talent. It actually got me thinking. What do we pass on in our genetics? My children are all taller than I. None of them look exactly like me. My daughter looks the closest. There is personality traits that all of them possess that I have. So that leaves me curious. What do you think we pass on in our genetics?
Day 29
I had been visiting a wonderful sports bar for a couple of years. The owner had promised my first beer for free. I went, played pool(i was forbidden to play darts as my aim was horrible ) and enjoyed a free beer.
Personal faith in self
Each creative person goes through it. The crippling self doubt. One often expects encouragement from those in the life of said person. And it really doesn’t always happen. I’m not alone there. For me it’s just a baffling thing. I am seven time published. Four volumes of poetry, two children’s books and a novella. Still there are days when I wonder if my writing is any good. And since my family doesn’t seem to be proud of me and what I have done… it seems to wear on my confidence in what I do.
Then my bestie, my sister I chose, who is also a writer asked for my help. It doesn’t seem like much to a outsider I am sure… but for me this was huge. It felt like validation of my writing. My writing is such a big part of who I am… this felt like I was being accepted. So it got me thinking. Why does my family, my blood, not accept what I do? Really the only thing I can think of is that to them, since I have always been a writer, it is simply nothing new. So perhaps I am going to have to accept the idea that those who are not showing pride in me aren’t doing it in cruelty. Perhaps it is in ignorance.
So perhaps I should not expect the world to have faith in me, and be thankful when it does. Instead I should have faith in me.
Day 26
Things I would say to an ex. Honestly it depends upon the ex. There are always good reasons why they are ex’s. Still usually… it’s hello, how have you been? I see no reason not to be polite. The only reason not to would be if they hurt me…and since I have moved on…the hurt must not have been as bad as it felt then.
Day 25
Hmmm weird traits. I am not sure I have any. Weird personality quirks and weird idioms, perhaps. But honestly I see there being nothing about myself that is truly weird. I am unique. Weird implies that there might be something wrong with any of my traits. Nope. Unique.
Day twenty four
Hmmm something I miss… cartoons. Saturday mornings with cereal and early morning cartoons. The cartoons of today really are subpar. I have tried to introduce my daughter to the cartoons of my childhood, but to be honest, it really saddens me that cartoons are no longer like that.
Pattimouse 