
(Picture borrowed from Debbie Burns, head unicorn and founder of Debbieburns.me all rights to it are hers)
My writing mentor posted this picture earlier. It brings up a topic that I believe I would like to try and tackle. I have no doubt of how capable I am. I am aware of my strengths, my flaws, and the areas I need to work on. Still I have moments where I question my worth.
Now I could blame my past for that doubt. Claim that I am flawed because no one has ever seen my worth….but I really hate that. It is possible to both know your capability and to doubt your worth. I am a strong and open minded individual, still I struggle. I don’t see what others claim is talent. I see a lifetime of fighting. Of me trying to be half of what those around me said I was.
I struggle because this is the path I see. I stuggle because I refuse to quit. Perhaps the above is true, perhaps some can see the ability within and it will set them free…still not all of those who are struggling fail to see their own capability. I am a strong woman, I have a generous heart. I am creative, with a quick mind. I am a survivor who has learned to be more….still I have days when I don’t understand the love everyone around me has for the broken soul I am. Days when I am the one that sees too much of life and has no way of processing it.
This is just part of being me. Those who love me generally understand those days. They are quick to reach to help me understand why I am loved. And even then I understand my capability…even as I have no understanding of my self worth.
That is a persistent question. What do I deserve? What is my worth and how is it measured? The Good? The Bad? The Love? Can I ever really know? It may be that we can only do our best and trust those who love us.
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Pattimouse ponders self-worth.
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Thanks for the reblog!
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Hmmm interesting as I use to also be like this. I think what causes the shift from worthless to worth is finding confidence in your abilities. When you realize that your talents and skills are what makes you different, that in itself brings new perspective. You stop looking at your weakness (aka what you feel you lack) and instead magnify your strengths. Understanding that your abilities play a large part with your purpose, your entire demeanor changes for the better.
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