Category: coping mechanisms

Tuesday Tunes

Bebe Rexha – I’m a Mess

Lyrics –

Everything’s been so messed up here lately
Pretty sure he don’t wanna be my baby
Oh, he don’t love me, he don’t love me
He don’t love me, he don’t love me
But that’s okay
‘Cause I love me, yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love myself anyway
Hey Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be okay
It’s gonna be a good, good, life
That’s what my therapist say
Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new Nobody shows up unless I’m paying
Have a drink on me cheers to the failing
Oh, he don’t love me, he don’t love me
He don’t love me, he don’t love me
But that’s okay
‘Cause I love me, yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love myself anyway
Hey Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be okay
It’s gonna be a good, good life
That’s what my therapist say
Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new Everything’s gonna be alright, alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine, just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new

My 2 cents – I feel like this song is so relatable. everyone feels like a mess on occasion. Some of us feel like more mess than right. So if today you are a mess…just turn the music up and let Bebe Sing your feelings for you.

Tuesday Tunes

Rihanna – Stay

Lyrics – All along it was a fever
A cold sweat hot-headed believer
I threw my hands in the air, said, “Show me something”
He said, “If you dare, come a little closer”
Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
It’s not much of a life you’re living
It’s not just something you take it’s given
Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ’cause I need this hole gone
Well, funny you’re the broken one
But I’m the only one who needed saving
‘Cause when you never see the light
It’s hard to know which one of us is caving
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay, stay
I want you to stay, hooh

My 2 cents – this song speaks of longing for company, of loneliness. Right now I feel like this is a relevant and relatable feeling. It is a scary time for all of us, globally. Pandemic and isolation…it’s just a level of panic and uncertainty that has a lot of us disabled.

Please, even if you are having issues, try to stay in until this is under control. Isolation is the world’s best shot right now. Stay home and stay safe.

Migraine and stress fairies

*Found on Google with Pinterest listed as source*

I want to apologize. I don’t feel like I have to, that is another reason why I am grateful. I was supposed to post a blog tour post for a friend yesterday, which I will post shortly. I was supposed to do a Thursday post… And I just could not. I have been fighting a stress migraine since Tuesday.

My life is a routine, built on Chaos. Still I don’t handle change well. The pandemic has stores and offices closing. I homeschool, so I was already a homebody… But when I go to the store and can’t even find a loaf of bread… And then I am forced to explain to my teenage girl that the pandemic is not likely to kill her. Especially if we are careful with hygiene. Still, she is asthmatic. And she keeps hearing about asthmatic people being in higher danger.

Add all of this to normal anxiety and stress… Insomnia is back. Insomnia brings the migraines. It is not a sane time for anyone… So I have been dealing with it. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do?

Today is the start of Ostara. The beginning of spring. That also means the start of allergy time. It is a busy time for me. Usually we are able to clean up the yard (because somehow we end up doing the reconstruction inside during the winter and the trash builds up in the yard). We normally do the preparing for the garden. The plan for what canning we want to do during the summer.

This year not as much of this. We will be doing clean up. County clean up is free. It allows us to dispose of the trash. But I am not sure that we have the energy for a garden this year. I think that the canning is going to be something more like chili and the like. Maybe we will can some homemade baked beans. I don’t know.

I would have posted regardless of the migraines… I often do… However it was severe enough for the phone to be more than I could tolerate. I have a variation in my light sensitivity. This last one I was hiding in a dark room under a blanket and it was still too damn bright. Eyes closed and there was still too much light.

This is a rough time for everyone. So much unsurity, insecurity in economics. This year has been a lot of fear of what the future holds. Definitely not alone here. So I know how much y’all understand. I appreciate you.

So I guess that this post, other than an explanation for yesterday is a basic I am here and I see you kind of thing. If you need someone to talk to… Reach out to me… I want to hear you.

Whelp… It’s Wednesday

I was going to do a wordless Wednesday… Then my art app crashed taking the picture with it. I don’t have a web discovery/ webcomic post written because I was not expecting to do it this week… And I am flabbergasted.

So, I ask you… What does Wednesday mean for you? Do you have a routine? Is it just marking the middle of the work week? Also, what do you do when things go sideways?

Tuesday Tunes

Plumb – Damaged

Lyrics – Dreaming comes so easily
Cause it’s all that I’ve known
True love is a fairy tale
I’m damaged, so how would I know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed, and I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I’m damaged, as I’m sure you know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed and I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

There’s mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can’t go back

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, oh, I feel you near me

Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
I can’t go back
I can’t go back
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on

My 2 cents – I think that music that resonates most is often music that we see ourselves in. I, thusly, tend towards the music of survival and broken hearts. This song has always resonated. It truly speaks to the broken heart.

Echoes Into the Void

So I was having an email conversation with a friend about social media. He was pointing out the algorithm that sucks the orginality out of social media in general. While I agree with him and sometimes I think that I would be happier without the view of humanity that I recieve from reading the interwebs, I would miss the delight of seeing the creativity in the human soul.

The conversation ended with the idea that we both often feel unseen. It is not, I am sure, a novel feeling. To feel like instead of being actually heard… You are merely sending echoes into the void.

So I think that I want to hear the echoes…tell me something that you feel like isn’t being heard. One thing that you want to say. I will listen. And then go through the comments and hear others. Or pass the post on to others. Let’s get it to where no one feels like that echo.

Tuesday Tunes (Delayed Edition)

Ok, I missed yesterday. I know I posted the first of the poet posts… But I feel like this fits.

Pat Benatar – Hell is for Children

Lyrics – They cry in the dark
So you can’t see their tears
They hide in the light
So you can’t see their fears
Forgive and forget
All the while
Love and pain become one and the same
In the eyes of a wounded child
Because hell, hell is for children
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess
Hell, hell is for children
And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love
With your bones and your flesh
It’s all so confusing this brutal abusing
They blacken your eyes and then apologize
Be daddy’s good girl, and don’t tell mommy a thing
Be a good little boy, and you’ll get a new toy
Tell grandma you fell from the swing
Because hell, hell is for children
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess
Hell, hell is for children
And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love
With your bones and your flesh
No, hell is for children
Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children
Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children
Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children
Hell is for children
Hell is for children

My 2 cents – so all of the poets that I will be telling you about helped me to start to heal. Well there were also some songs… This one helped me feel like I was not alone. I felt understood, A rare thing then.

Tuesday Tunes

Au/Ra – Ghost

Lyrics –
[Intro]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)

[Verse 1]
Today I’m kinda feelin’ like a ghost
Call my friends but ain’t nobody home
Tell myself I’m fine but I don’t really know
I’m just scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone
I never let it show
But I feel like a missed call on a phone
Tryna live my life, pay-as-you-go
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Verse 2]
You know I never meant to cut you off
Got phantom feelings I can never solve
Stranger things to worry ’bout, I know
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t see myself in the mirror
Does that mean I’m not really here?
I’m losin’ touch with everything I know
And I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Bridge]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
You know I’m like a ghost
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, you know I’m like a ghost)
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’ll be alright, I know
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’m just scared that I’ll end up alone
(Ooh, ooh)

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost



My 2 cents –
During this time of year,  something happens. For so many of us the holidays are a struggle. We end up feeling isolated. I know that not everyone who reads this is in winter right now,  but it is still valid even during the other seasons. If you feel unseen or isolated… Reach out. There is always someone who will listen.


There is no shame in needing help. You are not a ghost… Even if you feel like one.

A Mad Poet’s Thoughts On Life

There are three things which dictate the way we live: the society we’re born into, the experiences which impact us, and the reality which we choose to believe in.

None of us can help the first two. No one gets to decide the time, place, or family they’re born into and, while we may have some control over our experiences in general, the things which impact us the most are usually out of our control.

It’s “thing” number three on the list which us mad people are experts at: reality. Or, rather one’s choice of reality.

Oh, you think reality is a fixed thing, do you? It’s solid, reliable, steadfast, and true? Well, my dear reader, allow a mad mind to enlighten you with one simple question….

Can you describe the color blue?

“Of course I can, you mad writer! Blue is…well…it’s blue- The color of the sky, of the ocean, of…those raspberry-flavored ice-pops from my childhood!”

Okay, now go and ask someone who grew up in Alaska or India or Japan, for that matter. Is their version of blue the same as yours? No. It isn’t. Better yet, ask a widower whose wife’s favorite color was blue to describe it. Then, ask a woman who’s color blind. Ask yourself the meaning on a sunny day and one on a day full of storms and sorrow.

Reality is fluid, flexible and the reason for this is because it changes based on our perception of the moment at hand. Want to know the secret to a mad life full of adventures? It’s quite simple:

Choose The Reality You Want To Live

Mad people get it because we already don’t like to be held down by something as paltry as reality. We understand from quite a young age that reality is meant to be questioned, to be rebelled against, to be contorted to our own quirky wills.

How do we do this? By choosing what we want to be true and then making it so:

  • The world isn’t crashing down around me; it’s just raining opportunities.
  • It’s not a failure; it’s just a fantastic way to learn.
  • Thank God I was wrong! Being right all the time is boring.
  • It’s okay if he/she doesn’t like me. I don’t need anyone’s approval to be awesome.
  • I’m not broke; I just spent too much on being responsible.
  • I’m not lost; I’m just on an adventure.
  • This job isn’t boring; it’s just making it easier to have fun when I’m off.
  • Maybe it isn’t loneliness. Maybe it’s boot camp for self-love.
  • It’s not daydreaming. It’s idea cultivation.
  • Life truly is an adventure.

“You can’t help that. We’re all mad here.”

-Cheshire Cat

Do you have any mad sayings that help you choose your reality? Share them with us!

Monday musings

I know that I usually post poetry on Monday, but the last week has been a rough one for me and creating. Between a death in the family, that hit rather hard, and general aches and pains… This week has been a lot of “couch time”…basically me and my television have seen more of each other than I ever do.

There is always a little slow down after I publish a new volume. When I wonder if I am foolish and vain for publishing. When I acknowledge that I don’t do well with pushing the books that I already have out. When I wonder who I would be if I didn’t write. When the idea scares me, so I try to force it… And end up scraping a few really bad foced starts. This is the first month after I publish a new volume.

Then, I start actually calming down… Realize that I don’t have to sell it. I have written it. I have put it out into the world so that it can be seen. I have done my part. It is my job to write, not to force anyone to read it. Those who are meant to be be my readers will find it, as long as I keep sharing. Which I have been doing a bit more of. I have been putting my poetry on graphics and putting more on my blog, and Instagram. I have a public album on Facebook and a board on Pinterest. In the meantime what that time of panic and reflection often means is that I have nothing worth sharing today, except for the view of my weirdo neurotic mind. Some like that view though, so I decided to share.