They tell you to price for your time and the cost of the materials. I am not good at such things. Putting a price for my art… It’s not that easy. I broke even, after making changes to the prices. Etsy is not a good reference. So I faced my anxiety. I sold enough to break even, with it cold enough to freeze out.
I am calling it a win. It was not the complete landslide sale I was hoping for. But I did not come back with my tail between my legs, broken, either.
Sometimes you take the small win.
I am open for commissions and I have various places that You could hire me. Book covers, editing, pencil drawings, poetry, or even Tarot Readings… I am open. Paypal, Ko-Fi, or Cashapp. I still have a Patreon as well.
Today has been me hiding with a migraine. I peeked at social media to be surprised by a blast from the past. A young man who has been like a son to me shared this picture of me and my oldest son. My eldest is currently estranged because someone told him lies about me, and he believed them. So I have been heartbroken about it since thanksgiving… The picture was such a nice thing, even if he is not speaking to me. It reminded me of a time when he trusted me unconditionally.
Lyrics:
I let myself fall into a lie
I let my walls come down
I let myself smile and feel alive
I let my walls come down
No matter how I try I don’t know why
You push so far away
You wrapped your hands tight around my heart
And squeezed it full of pain
With this knife I’ll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife I’ll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you
I can’t believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Coming in a million broken miles
Like poison in my veins
With this knife I’ll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife I’ll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you
The hate and the fear
The nightmares that wake me up
In the tears
The nightmares and (the hate)…
My 2 Cents:
This song gets a bad rap I think. so many see it as emo. It is expressive and poetic. It feels like a song that I can relate to. sometimes that idea of taking a knife and cutting out the heart that wants to hang onto a toxic love…is strong.
Lyrics-
Smoke a little weed, smoke a little weed
I’ve been feelin’ low
Pressure in my head, lay awake in bed
I’m against the rose
Been tryin’ to recover but nothin’ i do works
‘Cause hidin’ under the covers is only makin’ it worse
I’m stuck
Think this is growin’ up
Too much is on my mind, always on my mind
Need a little space
Spend my days alone, can’t get off my phone
Nothing goes my way
Miss all of my friends and barely can file my taxes
I’m halfway through my twenties
Like, how the hell did this happen?
I’m stuck
My life is in a rut
And i’ve been hopin’ these doors might open
And i’ll be running from this place, free
Constant pacing; this time, i’m wasting
I can’t control these emotions in me
Growin’ up
I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough
Always tryna seem like i’m okay
I’m growin’ up
Whatever that means, anyway
I don’t know enough
I’m just growin’ up
Girlfriend wanna chill, girlfriend wanna chill
I’ve been workin’ late
I don’t got no time, workin’ all the time
Too much on my plate
And i don’t wanna fail, i’m bringin’ myself stress
I can’t sit on my sofa, i’m lost and depressed
And stuck
I can’t say that enough
Anxiety is high, i can’t even lie
I’m not doin’ great
Dishes in the sink, think i need a drink
They gon’ have to wait
Stay inside my room that now’s become a prison
I hate these four walls, but only feel safe in ’em
I’m stuck
But no one gives a fuck
And i’ve been hopin’ these doors might open
And i’ll be running from this place, free
Constant pacing; this time, i’m wasting
I can’t control these emotions in me
Growin’ up
I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough
Always tryna seem like i’m okay
I’m growin’ up
Whatever that means, anyway
I don’t know enough
I’m just growin’ up
Growin’ up
I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough
Always tryna seem like i’m okay
I’m growin’ up
Whatever that means, anyway
I don’t know enough
I’m just growin’ up
Growin’ up
My 2 Cents –
Well here lately I have been wondering who made me a grown up? I am struggling with responsibility and the urge to just have fun…so I really related to this one. I can’t imagine with the last year being the way it has that I am alone. so my song choice reflects it. It is ok to feel like you want to have fun, just don’t let it make you do something stupid.
This year the holidays stunk. Yeah I said it. It is so taboo to be miserable during December, because you feel like you are weighing everyone else down. Or you feel just freaking ungrateful.
I know that I am not alone in this. This year has weighed hard on so many. No ability to do big gatherings, or family meals, or the other traditional trappings of the holidays. So much of this year has been death and illness. And for me family distancing.
The holiday was just lacking. So I was playing video games with my youngest, and scrolling down Facebook occasionally when something caught my eye. Serena has her own Facebook. Well someone, another author, had told me that Serena’s Rust, Gore, and the Junkyard Zombie was on his Christmas wishlist. He tagged Serena in the comments of his gifts… He got it.
Seeing that tag just made me smile. It made my whole holiday better. Just knowing that book was wanted.
So till this year is gone, enjoy the little things. Don’t let it fall apart because the big things are missing. Enjoy what you can. I hope that each of you find a little thing that brings joy this season.
Tools, something that are different depending upon the user. Each person may have different skills depending upon the tools that they have at hand.
For an example, I am capable of sewing by hand. I have been taught this skill in childhood. My mom, my grandmothers, my other female role models… They all sewed. In various levels of skill. My mom still makes the most beautiful quilts. However, though I have the ability to sew by hand… It is slow. I have arthritis in my hands. This makes it take longer. I am not as neat as I am with a machine.
This is something that was brought up lately. Someone told me that my digital art has improved. I am sure that it has… After all I have better tools. I have a decent laptop. I have good art programs (Gimp & Krita are my two current favorites). I even have a good mousepad that I recieved for Christmas. (An elephant with headphones on. It is an ergonomic one that helps with my arthritis).
If someone is struggling with their art, or their writing, or any part of their life and you want to assist… Ask them what tool they are missing. Sometimes it is something small such as someone to bounce ideas off of.
Blogging is harder than it looks. There’s timing, hashtags, content, and readers to consider. When you first start, if you are anything like I was, you think that you really are less than interested in sticking to a schedule… more that you just want to get what you have to say heard.
Then you start seeing that you are being seen more… Hence people are seeing what you have to say… And it becomes the thing to stick with a schedule (something I am still struggling with)…
So you find yourself searching through the daily Hashtags to find something that both fits your blog and is easy to do content for. You realize that the blog is in control.
I think that I am just not going to plan for Friday. If I feel like posting I will. Thursday is going to stay chaotic as a true mad tea party should be chaotic. (Even if the poet hosting the party is only half mad…). So I think that the blog posts that I share regularly will be Monday poetry, Tuesday Tunes, and Wordless Wednesday. Even the weeks where I am struggling I can usually do those 3.
It was suggested that I do a Follow Friday… Problem is it does not fit my blog. It’s too calm for my crazy
Hello Lovelies! Long time since we had tea. My current favorite is Lipton’s Peach Passion Green Tea.
2020 is nearly over, and I know that I am not the only one who is grateful. 2021 is already shaping up to be busy. Fae Corps has several authors lined up that we are going to be publishing. We have 2 anthologies planned (Fae Playgrounds and Fae Shivers). Serena is going to be in Circle City’s Absurd Apocalypse Anthology. And I submitted to two of Indie Blu(e)’s upcoming Anthologies. (I hope I get accepted, their books are always so pretty. )
Song of Shadow released this week. I am still working on Half Mad Meanderings and Heart Drops. I hope to release both in 2021. I am also planning on pulling each of my Poetry Volumes, one at a time, and Revamping and re-releasing them. I don’t know how long it will take to do each volume. I do know I will be releasing Large Print versions of each as well. I have learned so much this year that I can put into practice on my books. I hope it will give you, my readers a fun thing to look at.
This will be as far as I am concerned the final version of each book. Serena’s not going to do that with her books, and I am going to go through the poetry volumes first then deal with the children’s books after. I may try to talk Serena into large print at least.
I am also working on Grandmothers wisdom. Coffee house writers anthology will release next week. Like I said 2021 is shaping up to be a busy year.
The kid is asleep, So I thought I would take the time to do an update here. 2020, for all that it has sucked, has taught me a lot. I updated most of the covers on my poetry volumes this year, but I really have not looked at the interior of any of them since I published them…until recently.
Now don’t get me wrong…I did not publish anything badly, I just can clean it up and make it look a little nicer. So I have decided that is what 2021 will be. I have a full schedule with Fae Corps…We have multiple authors who have entrusted their books in our care. And there will be 3 anthologies for fae corps. I have one I am hoping to release (Wisdom: Grandmother’s Words). So instead of trying to release any new poetry volumes in 2021, I think that I am going to update and re-release my older volumes.
Changes in staff at Fae Corps is making this year coming exciting…and scary. Fae Corps is growing. We have up till now just had Cyndi and I doing whatever needed to be done. That left both of us stuck with marketing, something that neither of us are normally that good at. Now we have KT. Due to a difference in opinion we lost our consulting editor. We decided on official roles. Cyndi is our Developmental editor, I am the Copy editor. I do the Cover designs, KT does the marketing, and the scheduling. We also take projects for authors who do not choose to publish with us. Cyndi took an editing job that ended up choosing to publish with us after.
So with Fae Corps being so busy, I feel like I should plan my own writing projects to be lighter.. Not nonexistent, just lighter. Song of Shadow releases December 1st, 2020. I also am in the Coffee House Writer’s Anthology Volume 1 which is available for preorder. Serena is working hard to get stories ready for Fae Corps 2021 anthologies, and has one coming out in Circle City’s An Absurd Apocalypse. (It’s only a flash fiction, but I read it and it is cute and funny). 2020 was a busy year writing and publishing wise. I submitted to a project for Indie Blu(e) publishing which I hope to hear whether it is accepted after the first of the year. (Another small press with big talent that I want to support) So even though I am planning to do clean up on older volumes in the upcoming year…as you can see it will be a busy year.
Of Course I will still be working with Coffee House Writers, and I am still working on the two new volumes…I am just not rushing to put them out over the next year. Maybe I can do a re-release a month and see what else I can squeeze in from there.
Pattimouse 