The last two years have been so busy. And I am finding it hard to keep up. When I started with Coffee house writer’s I was easily able to keep up with the schedule I was on. But I have since started doing more here and with Fae Corps. We are doing more in Fae Corps. I am floundering under the weight of the responsibility… So I have made a decision. I am leaving Chw for now. I have already told my wonderful editor. There will be one more post next Monday. Then… I think that I will try to post here more. I am hoping that releasing one responsibility will ease the burden of the rest.
Crawl out of the hole you’re in Who you are is not who you’ve been Now’s the time to sink or swim Will you fight the tide or get lost within And I know you’re feeling low Feel like you’ve lost control But the darkness that you know It’s not your home and you’re not alone And all you’ve wanted was just so much more This world has taken ahold Don’t let ’em get your soul The silence You feel it cold as a winter storm This world has taken ahold Don’t let ’em get your soul Iron bars are hell to break Tell me now, do you know what’s at stake? Your whole life in a blank stare haze You walk around like the end of days And I know you’re feeling low Feel like you’ve lost control But the darkness that you know It’s not your home and you’re not alone And all you’ve wanted was just so much more This world has taken ahold Don’t let ’em get your soul The silence You feel it cold as a winter storm This world has taken ahold Don’t let ’em get your soul I’m callin’ out to you Can you hear me? They can’t break you down Let you hit the ground I promise you it won’t be long (Won’t be long) You’re feeling overwhelmed here Drowned by the pain and the fear The sun will come with the dawn All you’ve wanted was just so much more This world has taken ahold Don’t let ’em get your soul The silence You feel it cold as a winter storm This world has taken ahold Don’t let ’em get your soul… Get your soul…
My 2Cents – Though this song sounds like it is about being depressed, And it most certainly is, I feel like it is about picking yourself back up when you are depressed. I have been here, and it feels impossible. then it doesn’t. Somehow you just survive, and you don’t know how you did it. but you did.
It released yesterday but by the time I finished with the flea market, I was so tired I couldn’t think straight. So I am posting it today. The beta readers all said this was a lovely volume. It is all love poetry and my art.
They tell you to price for your time and the cost of the materials. I am not good at such things. Putting a price for my art… It’s not that easy. I broke even, after making changes to the prices. Etsy is not a good reference. So I faced my anxiety. I sold enough to break even, with it cold enough to freeze out.
I am calling it a win. It was not the complete landslide sale I was hoping for. But I did not come back with my tail between my legs, broken, either.
I am open for commissions and I have various places that You could hire me. Book covers, editing, pencil drawings, poetry, or even Tarot Readings… I am open. Paypal, Ko-Fi, or Cashapp. I still have a Patreon as well.
Today has been me hiding with a migraine. I peeked at social media to be surprised by a blast from the past. A young man who has been like a son to me shared this picture of me and my oldest son. My eldest is currently estranged because someone told him lies about me, and he believed them. So I have been heartbroken about it since thanksgiving… The picture was such a nice thing, even if he is not speaking to me. It reminded me of a time when he trusted me unconditionally.
Lyrics: I let myself fall into a lie I let my walls come down I let myself smile and feel alive I let my walls come down No matter how I try I don’t know why You push so far away You wrapped your hands tight around my heart And squeezed it full of pain With this knife I’ll cut out the part of me The part that cares for you With this knife I’ll cut out the heart of me The heart that cares for you I can’t believe the way you took me down I never saw the pain Coming in a million broken miles Like poison in my veins With this knife I’ll cut out the part of me The part that cares for you With this knife I’ll cut out the heart of me The heart that cares for you The hate and the fear The nightmares that wake me up In the tears The nightmares and (the hate)…
My 2 Cents: This song gets a bad rap I think. so many see it as emo. It is expressive and poetic. It feels like a song that I can relate to. sometimes that idea of taking a knife and cutting out the heart that wants to hang onto a toxic love…is strong.
Lyrics- Smoke a little weed, smoke a little weed I’ve been feelin’ low Pressure in my head, lay awake in bed I’m against the rose Been tryin’ to recover but nothin’ i do works ‘Cause hidin’ under the covers is only makin’ it worse I’m stuck Think this is growin’ up Too much is on my mind, always on my mind Need a little space Spend my days alone, can’t get off my phone Nothing goes my way Miss all of my friends and barely can file my taxes I’m halfway through my twenties Like, how the hell did this happen? I’m stuck My life is in a rut And i’ve been hopin’ these doors might open And i’ll be running from this place, free Constant pacing; this time, i’m wasting I can’t control these emotions in me Growin’ up I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough Always tryna seem like i’m okay I’m growin’ up Whatever that means, anyway I don’t know enough I’m just growin’ up Girlfriend wanna chill, girlfriend wanna chill I’ve been workin’ late I don’t got no time, workin’ all the time Too much on my plate And i don’t wanna fail, i’m bringin’ myself stress I can’t sit on my sofa, i’m lost and depressed And stuck I can’t say that enough Anxiety is high, i can’t even lie I’m not doin’ great Dishes in the sink, think i need a drink They gon’ have to wait Stay inside my room that now’s become a prison I hate these four walls, but only feel safe in ’em I’m stuck But no one gives a fuck And i’ve been hopin’ these doors might open And i’ll be running from this place, free Constant pacing; this time, i’m wasting I can’t control these emotions in me Growin’ up I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough Always tryna seem like i’m okay I’m growin’ up Whatever that means, anyway I don’t know enough I’m just growin’ up Growin’ up I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough Always tryna seem like i’m okay I’m growin’ up Whatever that means, anyway I don’t know enough I’m just growin’ up Growin’ up
My 2 Cents – Well here lately I have been wondering who made me a grown up? I am struggling with responsibility and the urge to just have fun…so I really related to this one. I can’t imagine with the last year being the way it has that I am alone. so my song choice reflects it. It is ok to feel like you want to have fun, just don’t let it make you do something stupid.
Pattimouse 