Category: struggle

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics-

First, you’re on top of the world (a-ah)
And then that world just ended (a-ah)
You think you’re driving down the highway (a-ah)
But then you’re in the trenches (a-ah)
Butterflies are kinda nice, I guess
But my tummy hurts, I’m getting sick of it
Been bruised over, over again
So, you know what?
Screw feelings, I don’t want ’em any more
One second I’m on fire, then I’m bored
When I try them on, I end up insecure
Screw feelings, screw feelings (you know what?)
Screw feelings, I don’t want ’em any more
One second I’m on fire, then I’m bored
I just took ’em off and throw ’em on the floor
Screw feelings, screw feelings
Scared of the day it hits me (a-ah)
A baseball bat to my heart (a-ah)
Butterflies are kinda nice, I guess
But my tummy hurts, I’m getting sick of it
Been bruised over, over again
So, you know what?
Screw feelings, I don’t want ’em any more (any more)
One second I’m on fire, then I’m bored (then I’m bored)
When I try them on, I end up insecure
Screw feelings, screw feelings (you know what?)
Screw feelings, I don’t want ’em any more
One second I’m on fire, then I’m bored
I just took ’em off and throw ’em on the floor
Screw feelings, screw feelings
Screw feelings (yeah)
Screw feelings (yeah)
Screw feelings (yeah)
You know what?
Screw feelings (yeah)
Screw feelings (yeah)
Screw feelings (yeah)
You know what?
A-ah, a-ah, a-ah (yeah, a-ah)
A-ah, a-ah, a-ah (yeah, a-ah)
You know what?
I feel like this song
A-ah, a-ah, a-ah (yeah, a-ah)
A-ah, a-ah, a-ah (yeah, a-ah)
Yeah!

My 2 Cents-
The Last few months have just been hard. This song’s message is easily heard and it is a fun video. We have to feel things, it is in the human condition, but that does not mean we have to like what we are feeling. Today, Screw feelings.

New Year New To Do

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

Last year was incredibly hard. It happens, and I am not going to sit and weep over it. However, it brought changes to both my personal and professional lives. I refuse to do a resolution because I often get distracted and lose sight of the objective with that. Instead, I do a yearly word. It helps me set the tone for the upcoming year. This year is Effort. Now that doesn’t mean I plan to put in more, just that I become Mindful of the effort I am putting in and the effort of others. (Sometimes we fail to see the effort others are putting in. Either because it doesn’t meet up to the expectations, or because we are too busy to notice.) This Year I want to be mindful. I want to adjust my life to appreciate the effort in it. Including my own. I am too hard on myself so I think that I will struggle some with this.

Fae Corps has had some changes. My partner is stepping down to concentrate on her writing. So I am now the main person in charge. That is both scary and wonderful. I have always dreamed of doing exactly what I am doing. But being in charge means I have to hold myself to a higher standard. It also means that I am the only one I can blame if it goes pear-shaped,

There is a lot planned for the upcoming year. Poetry volumes, Another Pip adventure, The release of several Anthologies….and Fae Corps will be releasing more books. I have announcements that I will be posting here during the next week, and I am hoping to be more mindful of the effort it takes to do a proper blog.

Until then and the time I post again, I wish all of you the blessings of the new year, and hope it is a great one for us all.

The Holidays are in, and it has kicked me in the butt

So I haven’t been around. Not surprised if you noticed. There has been a lot of activity in my life. Changes that have caught me by the throat. I don’t plan on bleeding those changes all over my blog, it would just open wounds that are starting to close. However, I am going to still be on hiatus a short while longer. It started with a nasty bout of bronchitis and then some nasty emotional baggage. I am slowly unpacking the baggage and starting to put things away. I think I will give myself grace through the month of December and start 2022 fresh. I need this time to deal with the mess that I got myself into. This time of year often ends me up with an emotional downside that I have been at a loss to prevent.

For me that means I will continue to work on myself and the issues that have arisen in my life. For you it merely means I am asking for patience. January will see more poetry, art, and discussion of the foibles of life that my blog has come to present on a regular basis. I thank you for the patience and I wish you all the best of holidays.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

{Verse 1}
Woke up late, car’s a mess
Spilled some coffee on my dress
Trying to pick out a song
Drove too fast, missed a stop
Somehow a Policeman saw
How am I gonna pay for that?

{Pre-Chorus}
I stayed up ’til 3 a.m last night
Watching Netflix on my phone ’cause
They cut off the power line
Drank up the rest of the box wine
Oh, I know it wasn’t smart
And I say this every time

{Chorus}
I can’t adult today at all
I wanna go right back to bed
And pretend I’m not feeling well
There’s nothing that I wanna say
But ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I can’t adult today
I can’t adult today

{Verse 2}
Got to work, powered through
Headache started around 2
‘Cause I had to work through lunch
Finally, I finished up
Made it home and had enough
But I found a dog chewed couch

{Pre-Chorus}
I stayed up ’til 3 a.m last night
Watching Netflix on my phone ’cause
They cut off the power line
Drank up the rest of the box wine
Oh, I know it wasn’t smart
And I say this every time

{Chorus}
I can’t adult today at all
I wanna go right back to bed
And pretend I’m not feeling well
There’s nothing that I wanna say
But ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I can’t adult today

{Bridge}
Just another cup of coffee
I can’t adult today
Just a little bit more money
I can’t adult today
10 alarms just to remind me
I can’t adult today
Tomorrow I will try again

{Chorus}
I can’t adult today at all
I wanna go right back to bed
And pretend I’m not feeling well
There’s nothing that I wanna say
But ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I can’t adult today
I can’t adult today
I can’t adult today 

My Two cents –
I am behind on my posts this week. It has been a really busy week for me – We had to get our lawn mower fixed and gather trash from the yard. Summer is ending but there are still summer chores to be done. So I spent Yesterday dealing with all of that. I spent Saturday dealing with a game and Sunday playing in a different one. So my normal work day – Sunday…well it got stolen. I will not post tomorrow but I have some upcoming announcements so I will be posting Thursday to tell yall all of what is coming soon. Man, Adulting is exhausting.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

[Verse 1]
I must be the kings of gambling
‘Cause I’m no ace of hearts babe, as you know, mmm
People say pick yourself up from the ground
But I just keep on sinking, like a stone, mmm

[Post-Verse]
When I drift closer you float further, out
And I hate, yeah I hate it
It’s like I’m the story’s villain
And you are the heroine
And I can’t win

[Pre-Chorus]
I tried to say I’m sorry but it sounds like it’s your fault
And every compliment just sounds like you’re no good at all
Yeah I hate to be the reason for you walking out that door
But right before I fix it, I fuck it up

[Chorus]
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more

[Verse 2]
You’re the best I’ve ever had
Hope I’m not your worst, but I don’t know, mmm
Sorry I’ve dragged you down through every circle
Down through my inferno
Should’ve cleaned first, mmm, mmm

[Post-Verse]
When I drift closer you float further, out
And I hate, yeah I hate it
It’s like I’m the story’s villain
And you are the heroine
And I can’t win

[Pre-Chorus]
I tried to say I’m sorry but it sounds like it’s your fault
And every compliment just sounds like you’re no good at all
Yeah I hate to be the reason for you walking out that door
But right before I fix it, I fuck it up

[Chorus]
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more
I fuck it up, fuck it up
Fuck it up some more

My 2 cents –

I can’t help feeling like this song is reading my mind. I often feel like a screw up. Whether I am or not. This one has been stuck in my head lately.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics –

Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head
There’s something in the water
I don’t like the flavour, I don’t like the taste
Searching for nirvana
Something that’ll take it all away from me
Don’t bother me, my misery
It’s holding me
Won’t let me speak
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (in my head)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head
Tryna eat me, tryna feed me lies until I’m dead (’til I’m dead)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (in my head)
It’s creeping in, it’s gonna get me by the end of the night
I’m sinking deeper, still I’m reaching for the end of the light
Burning in the lava
You can’t go and pray this type of pain away
Don’t bother me, my misery
It’s holding me
Won’t let me speak
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (in my head)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head
Tryna eat me, tryna feed me lies until I’m dead (’til I’m dead)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (oh, head!)I feel like I can’t breathe
I feel like I can’t sleep
How did I not see?
I’m unwell
I feel like I can’t breathe
I feel like I can’t sleep
How did I not see?
I’m unwell
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (in my head)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (oh, head!)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (in my head)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head
Tryna eat me, tryna feed me lies until I’m dead (’til I’m dead)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (oh, head!)In my head
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head (in my head)
Please, forgive me, I’ve got demons in my head

My 2 Cents-
Ok…. I am behind on Loki. Just got to watch episodes 3 & 4 this weekend. (Me and a couple of friends are watching it together. This song began episode 3 and I just had to look it up. The lyrics feel, much like many of my favorite songs, like someone is watching my life too closely. The best songs always feel like they rip your heart out. You can understand it far better than you really want to. What song tears you apart?

Broken heart

I lost a friend today. He actually passed away on the 7th… But I found out today. He was so bright and compassionate. He would at least once a month send me a digital hug. He was a veteran and a good man. I will miss him.

I normally put poetry on pictures with a copyright notice… This one hurts too much.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics –
[Verse 1]
Thought I’d bite my tongue
Just this once, maybe twice, but the harder I bite
Now it’s drawing blood
There’s a trace on my lips, leaves a taste when we kiss
Try to cover up
All of the lies and all of the lines that I
Bottle up
To keep you safe and sound

[Pre-Chorus]
But echoes of warnings
Like whispers of morning, like
It creeping through cracks in my memory
It’d make me lose my mind

[Chorus]
But every time I close my eyes
It’s calling in like a siren
Threatening to comе alive
Unless I pay the pricе, yeah
But if my heart is right this time
And I can finally bear my secrets
Maybe you won’t run and hide
But love the monster inside me

[Verse 2]
Maybe all the love
Is a switch that we flip when we’re losing our grip
And it’s close enough
Taking good with the pain, go a little insane
All we really want
Is someone to hold until we grow old
And no matter what (No matter)
Can’t be scared away

[Pre-Chorus]
Echoes of warnings
Like whispers of morning, like
It creeping through cracks in my memory
It’d make me lose my mind

[Chorus]
But every time I close my eyes
It’s calling in like a siren
Threatening to come alive
Unless I pay the price, yeah
But if my heart is right this time
And I can finally bear my secrets
Maybe you won’t run and hide
But love the monster inside me
[Bridge]
Beauty in the chaos, all that’s left to save us
Now
Beauty in the chaos, all that’s left to save us
Now
Beauty in the chaos, all that’s left to save us
Now
Echoes of warnings like
Beauty in the chaos, all that’s left to save us now
Echoes of warnings like
Beauty in the chaos, all that’s left to save us now

[Chorus]
But every time I close my eyes
It’s calling in like a siren
Threatening to come alive
Unless I pay the price, yeah
But every time I close my eyes
It’s calling in like a siren
Threatening to come alive
Unless I pay the price, yeah
But if my heart is right this time
And I can finally bear my secrets
Maybe you won’t run and hide
But love the monster inside me

My 2 Cents –
I have always fought the stigma of my mental health. I am a survivor. That being said, sometimes the labels are easier to fight than others. Now I am trying to help my teenager fight them. She wants to write horror. She is into the creepy and dark. When she told her therapist that (New therapist) the therapist tried to claim that she was homicidal. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone. She is a gentle soul with a rich imagination. She wants to write dark stories so she is apparently Homicidal. I raised all kinds of hell with the office. The supervisor talked to my daughter and agreed that the therapist was way off base. So I am left with a wonderful beginning writer who is struggling because of labels. Seems to me that the world wants to label madness too easily and the monsters that truly exist are allowed too much leeway. so today at least I think I love the monster inside me and will revel in the beauty in chaos.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics –
I haven’t always been this way
I wasn’t born a renegade
I felt alone, still feel afraid
I stumble through it anyway
I wish someone would’ve told me that this life is ours to choose
No one’s handing you the keys or a book with all the rules
The little that I know I’ll tell to you
When they dress you up in lies and you’re left naked with the truth
You throw your head back
And you spit in the wind
Let the walls crack
‘Cause it lets the light in
Let ’em drag you through hell
They can’t tell you to change who you are
(That’s all I know so far)
And when the storm’s out
You’ll run in the rain
Put your sword down
Dive right into the pain
Stay unfiltered and loud
You’ll be proud of that skin full of scars
That’s all I know so far
That’s all I know so far
So you might give yourself away, yeah
And pay full price for each mistake
But when the candy coating hides the razor blade
You can cut yourself loose and use that rage
I wish someone would’ve told me that this darkness comes and goes
People will pretend but, baby girl, nobody knows
And even I can’t teach you how to fly
But I can show you how to live like your life is on the line
You throw your head back
And you spit in the wind
Let the walls crack
‘Cause it lets the light in
Let ’em drag you through hell
They can’t tell you to change who you are
(That’s all I know so far)
And when the storm’s out
You’ll run in the rain
Put your sword down
Dive right into the pain
Stay unfiltered and loud
You’ll be proud of that skin full of scars
That’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
I will be with you ’til the world blows up, yes
Up and down and through ’til the world blows up, yeah
When it’s right or it’s all fucked up
‘Til the world blows up, ’til the world blows up
And we will be enough
And until the world blows up
Just throw your head back
And spit in the wind
Let the walls crack
‘Cause it lets the light in
Let ’em drag you through hell
They can’t tell you to change who you are
And when the storm’s out
You’ll run in the rain
Put your sword down
Dive right into the pain
Stay unfiltered and loud
You’ll be proud of that skin full of scars
That’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
That’s all I know, that’s all I know so far
I will be with you ’til the world blows up, hm

My 2 cents – This speaks wonders about being a parent. My relationship with my mom has never been real close. She was busy working and I was busy fighting. So we never really clicked. I wanted better. So when my daughter was born I was determined to have better. I didn’t want a mini me. Mom kept telling me I was so much like her. I hated that because I felt so misunderstood. I did not want to make my baby feel like she had to be me. I wanted to let her make her own mistakes in life. I guided her and told her the truth about the mistakes I made. I stood with tears in my eyes watching the mistakes that she could have avoided. And She tells me that she is so much like me. I stand at her back and she is the best person she can be…and I will be there for her until my world ends.

Blog Basics

Photo by Timothy Paule II on Pexels.com

I have been doing an Author spotlight for Fae Corps. It has given me the realization that some of the basics for blogging are not well known. We ask for a picture. Most of the time we don’t get it. We ask for a website…guess what? So it came to me that maybe I could help others by giving you what I have picked up in the time I have been running this blog.

  1. The first thing is that every entry should have a picture. The picture grabs the attention It gives a hook to your post.
  2. Make sure that you proofread your post. Typos do not encourage repeat readers.
  3. Try to keep a schedule. If possible at least four times a week, but if you cannot keep that then try for at least once a week.
  4. Think about what you would want to read. Try to keep from whining or complaining – no one wants to read that.
  5. Whenever possible include links. Example – My Books. Make it open in a new tab. you don’t want them to go off of your site completely.

Most of this is common sense. It really is hard to screw up blogging. However, some of it is also stuff you pick up. I started off treating my blog like a journal. It took me time. I also am terrible at keeping the schedule. Is the world gonna end if I fail to keep up? NO, but I may have a few readers who decide that I am not worth following. So I keep trying. If you are looking to get on as a spotlight on someone’s blog, or as a guest blogger, then I recommend trying to make sure that you provide them with as much information in what they ask for as possible. It makes it easier on them but it also makes you look good. That is the whole reason to do this, isn’t it?