Category: Self esteem

Straight talk Tuesday

Creative. I have my tools that I can work with. With words, technology, paint, Resin, beads, and wire I create. Well a few other things, but those are my main mediums. It came to mind because there are some other mediums I would love to try.

I shared a post that I saw on Facebook asking people to describe me in one word. I was not surprised that creative came up. Not even surprised that it was first. Then I was browsing what I call craft porn on YouTube. I like the videos of people making stuff. I usually go for stuff that with the right tools I could make… Then there is the glassblowing vids. They are addictive… Not because I think I can do it…. But because they are so freaking talented in a media I don’t ever see myself trying.

So it appears that I have limits to my creativity. I still want to explore clay, even to the point of a pottery wheel. I want to play with polymer Clay. And perler beads. Maybe some needle felting (though I have my doubts that I will enjoy it). Wood and metal working… So much of the ones I want to try require tools, or the medium itself is expensive.

I think that creating for the sake of creating is never a bad thing. So what medium do you use?

Accepted

So I have been accepted by another literary magazine. So I think that I will need to do a list of places… Other than my own publications that I have been published and what was published. Some of these are still upcoming. Approval often happens well before the printing.

Creatives Rising, Issue 1, Poem

Issue 2, Art

Issue 3(upcoming), Art

Down in the dirt. Jan/feb 2019 issue poem

bewildering stories, issue tbd (should be 762 or later, roughly a month from now give or take.) Poem

This list is obviously subject to update. I am starting to get braver about sharing my stuff. It is not an easy thing for me. I am so tickled by the response I have been getting.

Also with the change in createspace to kdp… I have been thinking. I am debating whether or not to keep my poetry volumes and kids books in Kindle unlimited or to do it over the other platforms. Weigh in with your opinion?

Two seconds.

There is a lot that if looked at from the other point of view may appear to be ridiculous. Asking for contact when you are busy with a lot on your mind for example. Seems like you can just talk to them when you are less busy, right? Then time goes on. You let people know that you are thinking about them… And it is not a big deal right? Well if you pass on spending the two seconds that it takes to acknowledge another soul… You may find the other soul walking away in pain. Not everyone deserves to be there in your life. And though it slices you in half… Sometimes it is better to walk away and let the sky be your only witness.

My thoughts, and other imaginary things

Fighting the mental gremlins mean that even though I feel inadequate, I keep going. For me this often means writing, even if I feel like it is not something anyone wants to read. I have been sharing my poetry more lately on my Instagram. My reason? I am getting the reactions there. It makes me feel like I am pimping out my soul to ask for reactions, but I end up using the positive feedback to boost myself in the fight against the voice in the back of my head… You know that voice… The one that tells me how awful I am, how awful my writing and art is.

I have been avoiding any posting of opinions lately, mostly because I have been feeling less than qualified to have opinions. Much less speak them. What that means is that I have been hiding behind my poetry a lot more lately. I finished and published Music For The Soul. I am about thirty poems into the next volume (Poetry Kisses). I am also looking into helping to promote other authors through my blog. (Which would give me more to post here as well as help with promoting my fellow writers.)

See, I firmly believe that as a writer, I should be helping other writers. I am not in competition with anyone, and the world can only benefit from others who are writing. Lately, I have been seeing controversy over trademarks in the writing world (specifically the romance genre…) I watched horrified that it was even a consideration. How is a single word causing so much trouble.

So I have been watching that and keeping my opinions to myself.

I will be trying to post more information as I receive it about the promoting.

Changes on the horizon

So I have been considering adjusting this blog. I really need to separate Pattimouse and Serena online. There is also a few others who I am possibly going to be working with in publishing.

So there might be a bit of upheaval as I change the main page to Serenity Studios crafting and publishing. Please be patient with me. I will be providing you with more great posts, and I am considering adding a sales page for handcrafted goods as well.

Miscommunication hazards

It hurts to be ignored. I was invited to help with an interesting project. I was to blog about a apocalyptic anthology. Then it was suggested that I might be able to contribute… By the editor, not the organizer. The organizer became very angry with me for contributing a poem as I was asked. So today I see her asking for female zombie writers. So I am doing the best for my mental health and walking away from the project.

I will still write (as Serena Mossgraves of course) apocalyptic fiction. My book (Rust, Gore, and the Junkyard Zombie) will be live on May first. I want the other authors in the project to do wonderfully well. I just will not be giving any more whispers of that project. I have been asked to assist with another anthology, and I will be posting more on that as it comes closer.

Please forgive my need to no longer speak of a project that I was obviously never wanted for.

Growth monsters

I think that I have been improving over the last few years. The first picture is the cover I did for the poetry volume I published in 2013….

the second is the cover that I did today as I am going through and cleaning up the layouts on my poetry volumes. I see a huge difference. Time and learning helps make a better and more professional image… But it is also that I am not the same person I was then. I have been reading the poems that I wrote for those original volumes…. My words then are not who I am now.
So I look forward to seeing who I become as the years ahead approach. And may it mean that I continue with verse and words to share with the world at large.

Creative kindness

Creative folks are sensitive, and often it’s the little things that send us into waves of self doubt and wavering, crushing questions about our own worth.
Now I am not claiming that you should not be honest with those folks. Quite the opposite. Just be aware that jumping a creative soul for a miscommunication is likely to cause them to question their own worth. Their own value and whether the work that they they do is worth showing to the world.
So before jumping off the deep end when you are dealing with a creative soul, consider if they were aware of how things went on the other end? Consider asking instead of jumping on them. Because if you are wrong, you will result in them questioning their own worth. Questioning whether they have anything worth putting out into a busy world.
In all things please, be kind first. You don’t know who’s life it might save. And if you decide that you dislike what they have created? Again answer with kindness. Telling the creative to go kill themselves, well the likelihood of them taking it to heart is high. Think before you speak. Or risk the death of another creative soul.

Be kind to each other, for the human race needs one another.

It’s all about perspective

I’m sick. And when I get sick, I get maudlin. I got a notice that I was getting a deposit from Amazon for the books that I have available. It is the biggest deposit yet, a whole $2.77. That amazes me. It is a sign that people are buying the books that I have written… Mostly poetry, but I have some children’s books and a novella (as Serena).

When I told my mother that I was published her first question was if I had made any money. At the time I stumbled with my answer because I had only made thirty some cents. The fact that I had made anything was a miracle to me, but I knew that would not be what she wanted to hear.

For me, publishing is only a way of being heard. Still, making enough from my writing to buy a drink…. Well it humbles me. Would I like to be able to pay the bills through it? Well of course. I am not stupid. I just choose to be thankful for the small things. How often does changing the perspective change the way something feels?

Small miracles lift up the downtrodden. I choose to see this as a small miracle, so that I am uplifted. What perspective can you change to adjust your view?

2017: Reflecting

I sat down to write this morning and realized that though this has been a rocky year personally…. It was a great year for my writing. I finished and published three volumes of poetry this year and am nearly done with a fourth. I put in play a pen name, Serena Mossgraves. As Serena I released a Novella (The Death of Neverland). I am nearly done with my first novel (Rust, Gore, and the Junkyard Zombie)… Just have to finish the editing, the writing is done. I have done several short stories and worked with two children’s stories. I also started collaboration with my sister on our Spiritual Gardening blog.

Looking it all over, it really does not seem like as much as it is. Still, it is more than I have accomplished before. With the end of the year nigh, I find myself looking back at the things that I wanted for 2017…and thinking ahead to what I want from 2018. I refuse to measure my life in regret, so I do not dwell on the things that went sideways. However, I do look at them and see what I can learn from what I have done. This year, though a personal hot mess, I was able to redirect myself back to my writing. I was able to make it a priority. That is behavior that I plan on continuing.

What about you? Was 2017 a good year? Why? What will be carried over into the new year?