I have been struggling with files for four anthologies. Trying to get it all to shine. I have been fighting my own self doubt. I have been working on trying not to feel like I have to do it all.
That is probably the worst thing about me, that feeling like I have to do it all, like I can’t lean on anyone else or I will burden them. Because I am, in my own mind, never good enough. I work extra hard to attempt to be seen as even half of the capable as the others around me. And then I end up intimidating the ones that I admire. Intimidating and hurting, because they end up feeling that they cannot possibly do as much as I do. While I am feeling that I am a screw up because I am dropping balls that I should have never tried to carry at all.
Balls bounce, and I can often grab them in rebound, but the hurt… I regret that. I try to be a good person. I try to do everything right… Even though I often do not have a clue what right actually is. So sometimes all that I can do is see the balls drop, and apologize for causing the hurt.
I read somewhere that the truest apology was changed behavior. This is where I truly fail. I try. But in some ways it is like an addiction. I have to put myself in that mess. I have to try to be the one that is doing the overwhelming of myself. It is my toxic trait.
Because I want to be seen as amazing… And there is the voice in the back of my head that is always going to tell me I am not.
That voice we all have. It’s mean. It bullies us into believing the lie… AND it is a lie. I am not worthless. I am talented and I am loved. I have been improving at art, writing, cover design, and publishing. I have been improving with all of my skills that have been a struggle… Except for dealing with interpersonal relationships.
I am sorry for those who I hurt when I am dropping the balls. I am sorry for the heartache that I cause in those who love me. I am not going to say that I will try to do better, because I should not lie, even to myself. However I will say that when I am struggling with the mental gremlins, and fighting for the strength to share the load… I am so very grateful that I have you all in my life.
You are amazing. You all keep me going. And I only hope that my own stubborn nature will not end up pushing you away.
Ok. I am doing this as a personal project. I am putting together my grandmother’s stories and poetry my boyfriend’s grandmother wrote. But I want it to reflect the wisdom of all grandmothers. So here is my request.
Do you have a story that you remember your grandmother (abuela) telling? Or a bit of poetry they wrote that you would love to see in print? Try submitting it for this anthology. I am busier than I have any reason to expect – so I am setting the deadline for December first with a expected publishing date of the first of January.
I am also accepting art. I only ask that it is from your grandmothers. And that you are able to give consent for me to publish it.
To submit email the creation and a small introduction (preferred with a picture) of your grandma who created it. The address for this is authorpoetpatriciaharris@gmail.com
The above image will be the cover. I realize that this is gender biased. I feel like I have more from the amazing women who I am decended from than I do the men. And since I have been wanting to honor my maternal grandmother… This was born. Maybe I will someday do a call for grandfather lore… But first I need to do this.
Also… Notice that this is not a Fae Corps Inc project. There is a couple of reasons. One – this is a very personal project. I have been wanting to do it for a little while. Two – Fae Corps Inc has projects planned for the next two years. I will be posting the next call for submissions for them in November. The deadline for it will be after the first of the year. I want to release this with the new year.
People constantly learn throughout their lives. It creates history. It defines the future.
Is the grass greener on the other side? Do the ends justify the means?
Eleven authors have come together to bring you tales of adventure and romance, loss and gain, family, friends, and everything in between. From arranged marriages to dates in haunted houses to androids infused with human memories. Fairy tales, dystopians, apocalyptic worlds.
Join the authors of the anthology and several guest authors all day as they share about their books, play games, and do some giveaways! There will be a big grand prize with a gift card and around a dozen ebooks as well! The event is taking place in Cait’s Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/caits.inner.circle
So this week has been a disaster… And then some. I have had in my home 2 head wounds, a second degree burn, scratches, scrapes, a seizure and just general chaos. I tried to record a sketchbook tour. My phone ate the video.
I have been on the go so much that I feel like I have been awake for a week. That means that I have nothing to do the tea party on this week. And likely no idea what to talk about tomorrow. I will have to work on the idea farm.
For Bree, the lifestyle in New York City is like a person hyperventilating—there is never a moment of silence or rest. Bree’s boss forced her to take the two weeks of vacation she had earned. All she had to do was figure out where she wanted to go. Bree coiled her shoulder-length brown curls into […]
For the first eleven years of their lives, neighbors Lila and Gavin were inseparable best friends. They did everything together. Until they didn’t. Every detail of Lila’s life has been meticulously planned out since she was a child. To the point where she forgot one vital thing: to live. When she receives news that drastically alters the path of her future, she realizes she has one last chance to create memories and make the most of her summer. Gavin, on the other hand, is known for his carefree attitude. He has lived a charmed life for almost eighteen years. He’s never short on friends or a good time, he has a supportive family, and he’s all set to go off to college and follow his dreams. The one thing he doesn’t have is the girl. He doesn’t know why Lila pushed him away all those years ago, but when Gavin finds her summer bucket list, he’s determined to help his goody-two-shoes neighbor cross off every item and hopefully mend their friendship in the process. Even if that’s not all he wants from her. He just hopes it’s not too late
Cait Marie has been obsessed with books her entire life, but the love of writing didn’t truly hit until 2017. Since then, she has held multiple positions within Coffee House Writers, including C.O.O., Editor, and Writer. In 2018, she used her passion for reading to create Functionally Fictional. In 2019, she joined the indie staff of YA Books Central as a reviewer and then Indie Assistant Blogger. Cait graduated with honors in 2019 from Southern New Hampshire University with a Bachelor of Arts in psychology, and she is currently enrolled in their Master of Fine Arts program. She lives in Indiana, where she freelance edits and provides a variety of other author services. When she’s not writing or reading, she can usually be found watching Disney movies or Brooklyn Nine-Nine, creating bullet journal spreads, or singing along to various soundtracks and showtunes.
Ok… There’s all the information for this book… Now I want to tell you my opinion. I was lucky enough to be one of the arc (advance reader copy – usually given for an honest review) group. This is a sweet story. Quite a refreshing read. The characters are well written and it is a worthy read. I really enjoyed it, and it is likely to be one I reread again and again.
Okay so I have my own view on life. I am fairly open minded and will always accept that I might be wrong. That is… I don’t believe that I am wrong, but I am not infallible. That being said… I saw a post that I shared… And immediately regretted.
Not because of comments… Or the like… But because it made me think. Don’t we all hate being made to think? What is it that makes a good person? Is it a certain set of views on politics? I know that I am adamant on my view on abortion. A good friend who is usually seen as a good man… He has a differing opinion. So does that make me the bad person?
How do we determine if someone is good or bad… If it is easy to determine? I don’t know that it is. I think that the current events are enough to put division between neighbors… In religion we are taught to love our neighbors.. Doesn’t matter if they are good people or not… However it never says that we have to expose ourselves to their beliefs. Or them.
So I pose the question… Do you think that you have a good person?
Hello my lovely readers. I don’t know if you missed me yesterday… I was terribly ill. My daughter had it (a stomach bug)… And apparently decided to share. So I spent yesterday in illness. Today I am doing much better, though I am still being careful with food.
This week has been a slow one for news. The preorder for Through The Sunshine and Poetic Reminders are still going. Fae Corps still has 2 anthologies that they are taking submissions for.
Now… Here’s something that I rarely do. I have many writers as friends on Facebook. I don’t promote Facebook off of there much… It just feels pushy most of the time. However… This is a story worth sharing. This is part of why I have gone almost completely to draft2digital. I only use my kdp account for when Amazon gets too picky and refuses something that I know should be publishable.
Hopefully this finds you all well. Tell me what is new in your world?