so I am about to get a new computer and that means I have to back up my files.
I am going back to the old files back up and cleaning them up…
I am feeling like a disaster because I keep my files so completely organized on my computer…and the back up is not.
I realize I am letting my brain be mean to me..
but I also am allowing my brain to think about it so I can deal with the reasons why it bothered me ..
Poetry is designed for politics. Have you read mine?
Can I please go back to avoiding the news?
Serena’s poem this week came from a news story about a child being drowned by their own parent. it’s not an uncommon story…but I’m getting tired and old. I have never been able to understand what drives a parent to kill their kids. I don’t understand why parents abuse their own child either. I have had some issues where I have made mistakes but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the ones that purposely hurt the kids. I don’t understand why.
Innocence is not a reason to hurt. If you can’t handle kids don’t have any. Some people just should not be parents.
I avoid politics.
I really don’t want to have the discord in my soul that politics brings. However, I have found myself being drawn into the fray a lot more lately.
I purposely did Fighting Ignorance as a volume of political poetry because I found myself actually mad about the political issues that were coming out.
I remember thinking that everyone was pushing me to have opinions on politics when I was trying to survive being a young adult in a world that was trying to destroy me. So I refused to get involved. It did the opposite of what everyone was trying to do.
I wanted nothing to do with the news, because it would add more stress on an already tired me. Terrorism was not the people who came from a far to change my country…it was the nightly news telling me that humans were doing such awful things to each other.
I now see the political climate and wonder why we are going backwards. I read a new bill that will make voting harder for those who are like me. My birth certificate and my drivers license have two different names. My name was changed as a child. It was supposed to be changed on my birth certificate as well and due to a paperwork snafu it was not.
I keep seeing more political issues that make me feel like this country is not a safe place for me to live in, and I have no ability to do anything about it. This is why I hate politics. It engenders fear.
I am going to keep hoping for things to turn out well, I will be voting…even if my voice is probably not going to be heard.(1 live in a red state and with the electoral college in place only 51% of the vote is needed to make the choice. So my voice is likely to be unheard.)
I don’t like politics and I don’t like that I have no voice in the way my life is going to be run.
Terrorism is not always an external thing. Sometimes it’s the nightly news telling you world events.
So I didn’t know what to post about today. I was just struggling with the reality of this month…
We had one of our chicken, who are pets go missing. Stray dogs scared her out of the yard. She was seen a block away, injured. She was the second one we have lost this month.
The first one was a baby silkie who got into the duck pool and drowned.
This is after our cat died.
So, this was a really rough month for me and my family.
I had posted in the local Facebook group that we were looking for her(the chicken). She has been missing five days today. We are facing the idea that she’s gone. Well Tuesday I got a message saying that a black chicken was wandering loose two blocks in the other direction.
My child is heartbroken at the loss of their baby. So dad and I went to check it out. We found a pair of loose chickens. They were not willing to be in the coop. Their owners were willing to give them to us if we could catch them.
Of the two we brought one home and the other one is supposed to be caught and given to us today.
Now the new one is peanut and is setting in well. I swear she purred the whole way home.
I have updates.
First… I did the annual poetry marathon this past weekend. I signed up for the half marathon and I wrote more than I signed up to do. I was rather pleased with that.
Next, Fae corps publishing is in the process of creating – taking on? – an imprint. I don’t have a whole lot I can tell you about it yet… But it’s actually really close to being a thing.
Next, I was invited to try to write a story (Serena) that is for a really interesting anthology. That doesn’t mean that they are going to accept the story. Just that I am allowed to try for the call. It is entirely out of my normal wheelhouse writing wise. I have until November to write it and I have it halfway done. It has been flowing. I am terrified. But I am writing it anyway.
And the last update for the post is that I do realize that I accidentally scheduled the Tuesday Tunes post last week for the wrong time. It went up at six pm instead of six am. I am grateful for your patience. I will try to be more careful this week.
I try really hard to avoid the news.
It is not good for my mental health.
Yet…
34 felony counts and still allowed to be the republican nominee for president. He cannot even vote but he could be elected president?
40+ Anti trans bills – just in Missouri.
And that was just what filtered through social media.
There was more but I am trying to not bring others down to the level I am finding myself. I don’t like what humanity is becoming.
The urge to become the witch in the woods grows greater with each passing day.
So I have buried myself in books. Reading because I have been unable to write all week. Instead of Artsy fartsy thursday I think I will tell you about the three lovely books I have gotten to read recently.
The End
By Patricia Harris
Is once the word is spoken
at the end of it’s life,
nothing further for it to know?
or is the verse just beginning
and the speech the start
of all it will know?
Either way I feel like
the word spoken in verse
will catch something more than
interest and ignite a new thirst.
Until dawn
By Patricia Harris
Staying awake for no reason
Until dawn approaches
Produces the same dreams
As if you were to crawl into
Bed as soon as the night falls.
Telling the self that life
Must fit in the schedule
Given by social settings
Only creates a guilt
Unnecessarily.
Lyrics –
When you feel that rage (When you feel that)
When you feel that rage
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark
We’re the savages born from worlds apart
Our past has shown just how we bleed
A blind future in front of me
Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage)
Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames)
This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay
We rush into the unknown
Fearless and brave
So don’t throw it away (that rage)
Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’ve been working towards the goal for most our lives
Every challenge that we faced, we have survived
Our confidence is growing everyday
Finally it is our time to reign
Our past has shown just how we bleed
A blind future in front of me
Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage)
Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames)
This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay
We rush into the unknown
Fearless and brave
So don’t throw it away (that rage)
Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark
We’re the savages born from worlds apart
And now I know that this is just the start
We will fight for everything we are
RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that)
RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that)
Rage (that rage)
Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames)
This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay
We rush into the unknown
Fearless and brave
So don’t throw it away (that rage)
Won’t stop until sweet victory
We will go down in history
So come and play with that rage (that rage)
My 2 Cents –
too many people consider Rage as a variety of anger. Rage is so much more. and at the same time is. Rage is unconscious, uncontrollable, the first instinct when we get backed into a corner…. and yes it is anger, but it is also so much more.
I was once told that I should not be angry about the abuse that I suffered… I was told that I should forgive.
Anger is a safety mechanism. forgiving allows you to forget about the pain caused. It means letting go of righteous pain. that righteous pain built me into the person that I am. it made me empathetic, it made me kind, and it made me aware of the people that exist in this world who are going to hurt others.
Rage is not always a bad thing.
Pattimouse 