Abuelas

I’m going to start with a topic that is fairly easy,  and close to my heart. Abuelas…aka grandmother’s.  I have been blessed in mine.  One could say i had four.  My mom’ s mother,  my daddy’s mother,  my stepdad’s mom, and the kind lady who refused to be anything but grandma brown. 
              To be Frank,  I only remember her kindness and her kitchen.  She was there for my mom and I when i was extremely young. Three years old to six. So some of my first memories were of her. She taught my mom how to cook. I know she died,  but I remember her telling us not to visit her grave. She used to say if we couldn’t visit her in life,  then we weren’t welcome in death. 
                  Grandma Ethel,  my mom’s mother,  was a very complex woman.  One of the strongest I have ever known.  It’s from her I have my love of reading.  She loved me unconditionally.  She was a natural born story teller.  I still repeat some of her stories… she used to work in hospitals as an admission clerk.  Well the ambulance brought in a drunk recovered from an accident.  The staff got him awake,  and he started looking around.  “Where is Bob? ” He asked getting more and more agitated.  The ambulance went back and found Bob. They get them together,  only to have both men start asking for Steve.  So this time before the return to the scene,  the emt’s asked how many there were. Five total men. None were really harmed by the crash,  which wrapped the car around a tree. All were drunk.  Turns out the reason for the crash?  All five were asleep in the back seat at the time. 
          However,  for all that I loved her, she was a stubborn person.  She literally could burn water. She had broken her back three times,  had to have it fused five.  So she was often cranky because she was in so much pain. She crotcheted, knitted,  sewed, did cross stitch and plastic canvas.  She loved old movies and British comedies. She was everything to me. I know i was a disappointment to her, but I never doubted her love for me.
           Grandma Harris,  my daddy’s mom, was old fashioned and strict.  She and I really didn’t get along as well.  She adored my brother and felt I was too misbehaving.  Maybe I was. She was also a strong woman,  raised five kids by herself back when that just wasn’t done. She made doll furniture,  did ceramics,  and made candy. She always kept busy.  There was a piano in her house, and music was a big thing around her.
           Last but nowhere near least,  “Grandma Sis”, my Stepdad’s mom. She was tough,  and I really didn’t get to know her well.  She when I met her was already unwell. Yet she took the time to welcome me into her family,  and gave me a box of books.  She took the time to find out what i was into,  so she could welcome me. She really was an amazing woman.
      Of course not everyone has such abundance.  I also had my great grandma and my momo. I think being surrounded by such wonderfully strong female role-models has helped me to really reach to be strong like them.

Various views

   I was saddened to awaken and find another idol gone. Each little light going from the world makes it such a darker place.  After a time each loss stacks on the heart,  weighing it down.  So I set about grieving on social media,  I set myself down and reliving the Joy I have felt in his music.  Rewatched my favorite movie that he was in. I felt sad, until I read a blog post by one of my favorite webcomics ( http://www.dominic-deegan.com) . He was far more elegant than I at how he expressed the combination of sadness and shock that this light going out caused.

Michael Terracciano
Don’t be sad that David Bowie died. The man lived a fiercely unique, artistic life. He was a relevant cultural icon for decades. He was Ziggy Stardust, Jareth the Goblin King, and just David fucking Bowie. His music is immortal. His last work is (from what I’ve heard) a masterpiece of a finale. He left us as ashes, not dust. This is probably the best ending to an artist’s story that any of us creative types could hope for. Hell, if I accomplish even half of a fraction of what David Bowie achieved, I will have surpassed my wildest dreams. Today I celebrate, not mourn.

        This got me thinking.  So i started looking at my behavior when each of these lights went out. Each time we lost a bright light who brightened my life in some way, I reacted the same way. I went back to what I loved.  Their light.  I really believe many do this.  It helps us make sense of death,  of disease,  and of violence.  So tonight i rejoice for the light I found in a creative soul. I also hope someday far into the future,  someone does the same when I pass.

R.I.P. to all those lights that have gone out in the last few years,  even those who only lit up one small world.