Author: pattimouse

Patricia Harris- Patricia Harris is a dreamer, crafter, gamer and digital artist who loves creativity in life. A half mad poet, her writing is found all over social media and various other websites. She is a devoted mom who can be found doing a variety of art when she isn’t penning poetry and writing words. She is owner of the indie publishing company Fae Corps publishing. For more from Patricia, check out www.Facebook.com/mouseypoet or pattimouse.blog And for a reading list of her books go to https://books2read.com/rl/PatriciaHarris And as Serena Mossgraves - Serena Mossgraves is a twisted faery with a love of gothic settings and an urge to scare. She’s constantly on the prowl for new ways to twist old stories into dark tales that excite and terrify. If you’re also drawn to nightmares, come visit Serena on Facebook at www.facebook.com/serenitysfall Or check out her reading list at https://books2read.com/rl/serenamossgraves

Thursday Talk

Ever want to just scream? Or throw everything in the garbage and just say the first idiot thing that comes to mind? Yeah that has been me lately. I Don’t wanna be that girl who is always there for everyone. Hell Really I am NOT that girl but I am not that boy either. To be flat out honest I am not ever even sure what I am. I am not anything that I can put a label on. I tried to talk to my therapist about it…Only to find out the words I did use to describe myself were not good. (Weird is apparently hateful)

So I am the lonely introvert who pushes everyone away. I don’t fit anywhere. I don’t know if I mind that so much…though it adds to that feeling of not having anyone who sees me. Don’t get me wrong – I have a best friend…who I feel like I am burdening because I have no way of talking to with out complaining. It doesn’t help that I am high functioning in my anxiety. So I take on more than I can do…and then refuse to ask for help. She wants to help and I end up doing what I do ask her to do because my brain tells me I am asking too much.

My damaged soul is just enough that I can see the problems I put out into the world, but I cannot seem to help myself from pushing away those who try to accept them. I normally avoid talking about the mess that I am because I am trying to put forth an image of competence and professional nature…but as I said Lately I am wanting to say the first idiot thing that comes to mind. Instead…I think I will say thank you all for your patience with me and my lackluster blogging of late.

I am hoping after the MRI on Monday I will be in a better headspace. I am hoping to get back to our regularly scheduled half mad idiocy.

Whelp It’s Wednesday.

Yeah, I am sure y’all know this one by now…But today it is simply because I am fighting an almost daily migraine. I am fighting mental health issues, hard, and I just don’t have any extra energy to suggest new web comics. The internet is so full of Wonderful comics, but I just don’t know what I have already recommended and don’t have the energy needed to pick a new one.

Instead I will recommend a neat content creator on TikTok. She sings Puns. She is a fun creator. I may alternate a bit and recommend some Tiktok creators in between some web comics. It sounds like it might be less stressful. Go laugh at Drew and her Puns.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics:

Dreaming comes so easily
‘Cause it’s all that I’ve known
True love is a fairy tale
I’m damaged, so how would I know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
‘Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
‘Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I’m damaged, as I’m sure you know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
‘Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
‘Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

There’s mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can’t go back

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
‘Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
‘Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Can’t go back

I can’t go back
I must go on

My Two Cents- I feel like the lyrics speak for me. Some days surviving is harder than others. Somedays the voices of the past are louder than they should be. I am looking at an MRI for the migraines on the 19th…The problem is I am petrified of closed in places. I was abused by someone I should have been able to trust. When I was 9 years old I finally got the courage up to tell him I would scream if he came near me again. He locked me in the trunk of his car. He said that I would die there and made me believe that He intended to kill me. Though I am nearly 40 years older than that scared little girl….I still can’t handle closed in spaces. So I am having serious issues with the upcoming test. The man who abused me killed himself a few years ago. The last time I saw him I was still a child. He is still powerful, and I am somehow powerless. Some things the mind refuses to accept. Logically, I am no longer able to be hurt by a dead man…but since when is the brain logical?

Handprints and what comes next…

As I said I am nearly done writing this volume. I am going to need to pick the next title for the general stuff soon. A while back I did a post on future volumes and the covers I made for them. As always I am asking for your opinions. which one do you think that I should do next?

The trouble with writing …

I have always loved the written word. So much of my childhood was spent in the idea that I would be a writer. I had a best friend, Lucretia Fisher. (only one of a handful of friends I had) She lived near my grandmother. She and I would talk about being famous writers some day. We would argue about which of us would be published first.

When I was not writing I was devouring books. I read at a college level in 4th grade…And now I find that I am having trouble finding the time…last year right about this time I decided that I missed it…between October and December I read nearly 60 books…

I think I will likely do it again…but I am trying to get a habit with my writing. And I find that I am having trouble getting motivated. I always have 500 million other things that I have on my to do list. I wonder if Lucretia managed to get her books published. She was such an amazing writer.

The to-do list never goes away. I am fighting to help authors get heard. I am fighting my own demons to see what I write as being worthy of the world. And sometimes I am just hurting my own feelings. So, if I seem to be a little bit more in self-doubt please realize that I am still fighting.

Handprints on my soul is 10 poems away from being done. I am hoping that I can get it done in time to publish by the beginning of November. However, I don’t want to promise that or start the promotion of it until I get the last poem written. Because I somedays lose that fight.

Oh! And I will be releasing a new kids’ book in December. Not Another Danny is going to be released December 2nd during Fae Corps Kid’s Week ! I will try to get the cover reveal up later this week .

Monday Poetry

Labor Day Late

so between the holidays and migraines I am running late for my posting. I will try to get some up this week…until then here is poetry…

Friday Share

Friday Share

So you found a new book?

Or maybe you just published one?

Did you find a new webcomic that you like?

Or a song you think everyone should hear?

No need for explanation…Just Share it.

You find a good deal that you think we should all see? Just share!

Or hey even a joke you think too fun not to share, Just share it.

Post links in the comments.

Occasionally I will too.

Thursday Tunes?

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics:

I’ve been dreaming of friendly faces
I’ve got so much time to kill
Just imagine people laughing
I know someday we will
And even if it’s far away
Get me through another day
Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright
Cover me in sunshine
From a distance all these mountains
Are just some tiny hills
Wildflowers, they keep living
While they’re just standing still
I’ve been missing yesterday
But what if there’s a better place?
Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright
Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright
Cover me in sunshine
Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright
Cover me in sunshine

My Two Cents- Due to personal reasons this has been a bad week. Today is not Tuesday…but I needed Music and I wanted to do some posting. So though it be Thursday…Here is some shared sunshine.

Getting Old

In 1989 I was 14. I had an adorable baby boy. The above picture was me and him on my graduation from high school 5 years later. September 1st my eldest child will be 33. He has two babies of his own. I just wanted to drop a happy birthday to that little boy…and maybe try not to feel old today.