Nightmares

The rose is for the beauty. I need that right now. I am AWAKE. Thanks to a very vivid nightmare. I rarely remember my dreams, for which I am often thankful. I have nightmares and night terrors. I have most of my life. When I was younger I would seek out the light when I woke from one like that. Today I seek beauty and music. To me that’s growth.

The dream was nothing special until the end. In the dream my boyfriend, myself, and two of my sons were looking for some Halloween hijinks. We found a weird mall that had this throw things at a Nazi memorial thing. I was really good in my dream at finding the things that had been thrown and at throwing them. My boyfriend asked me to gather him some, so I did. The items were mostly broken metal. When I went to give the items to him I accidentally scratched a girl on her leg. Now mind you it was a shallow scratch. Still the people in my dream decided that deserved punishment. I was made to walk through a pheromone loaded substance that smelled so strong that I was ill. I found myself wanting to walk through fire in my dream to get rid of the lingering smell. I wanted to burn my own skin off. That is when I woke…feeling like I had been through HELL.

As I type out the dream it feels like my mind made more of it than there was, but the emotions and extra mental pressure cannot be described adequately. Sensory additions in dreams just add to the feelings so when I wake I feel even more in need of normality.