Mental Health is a tricky thing.

I have this year struggled to find a therapist. I wish I could say it is all my doing that is causing this disconnect. At least then I could point the finger and go…This is what I need to fix. I wish I could just heal my mind and never need therapy again. (I literally just had a therapist accuse me of wanting to be broken because it was all I have ever known. I can’t even explain to her what damage she added to me.)

Some days are better than others.

Some days I fight and find myself actually happy. I enjoy the moments that life gives me…I enjoy the people I love. I enjoy the moments where I do something and it feels like I am doing it right.

The problem is those moments are not as often as I need them to be.

The other problem is I don’t have the people I need to share those moments with.

I have friends. I have family. I just don’t want to bother them. So I am lonely. In the fishbowl of the internet.

Today…

Perhaps I am a little more willing to show the vulnerability, and say that having mental health issues sucks.