Tag: falling in reverse

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

Dear diary, dear diary
I’ve been searching for a higher me
I’m in the sky, in the pilot’s seat, trying to stop my mind from spiraling
And that’s irony, that’s irony
I’m just looking for a resolution, I just want to be a better human
But it’s hard when everybody’s acting stupid
Pardon me if that came off rude, I just have a bad attitude
With the world and not just with you, it’s the side effects of abuse
I admit I’m a little strange, I don’t think that I’ll ever change
I survived a whole life of pain, you could say I escaped my fate

I’m a cynical, egotistical, unpredictable, hardened criminal
And I can be a little hypocritical, but I’ll admit it straight to your face
I’m unbreakable, irreplaceable, undeniably inspirational
I used everything I had available to make me the person I am today

Dear diary, dear diary
I just had another wild dream
I was in a world that admired me, and when I woke up I was smiling
And that’s irony, that’s irony
You talk a lot but you don’t even know me
I’m just hoping that my testimony will inspire y’all to stop acting phony
Pardon me if that came off weird, I don’t mean to be mean, I swear
I have been through a lot this year, I just want to make a few things clear
I don’t like it when people hate behind my back and not to my face
Nowadays it just feels so fake, so I’ll cut the grass to expose the snakes

I’m unstoppable, it’s impossible
You don’t wanna see the diabolical side of me that never stops, is volatile
So I suggest you stay in your lane
I’m unapologetic, you know where it’s headed
I will never ever let up off the pedal
I got the spirit of every warrior in me ever, so back the fuck up, get out my face

You’re a slave to labor and you praise the fascist
You kiss the hand that takes half in taxes
Faking outrage and being seen, a generation with no self-esteem
It’s time to rise up and stand against them, break the chains and finally see the vision
We’re post-traumatic from a broken system
Follow me into the chaos engine

It’s time to stand, it’s time to fight
Don’t be afraid to twist the knife
Your sacrifice to break the curse
Prepare to die, prepare to burn
Abandon hope, it’s not enough
‘Cause all our gods abandoned us
Your sacrifice to break the curse
Light the match, watch it burn

Heaven falls, the angels die
Let it burn from the start
When everything falls apart

When everything falls apart (why have you forsaken me?)
When everything falls apart (heavy is the crown, you see)
When everything falls apart (why have you forsaken me?)
When everything falls apart (heavy is the crown, you see)
When everything falls apart
When everything falls apart

My 2 cents –

This has been my earworm lately. it is a powerful song. I believe it is my favorite from this band. So do you listen to a playlist or the same song on repeat? I get burned out on songs and need the playlist but I was curious as to the way others do it. My son listens to the same song on repeat.

Musical ah ha moment

Meme - Overthinking

So my boyfriend and I have different views on the song popular monster. I prefer the one by Falling in Reverse  and he prefers Halocene’s version. This is really not a big thing. We have different views on songs that we both like and we just deal with the other persons view.

We were going to a appointment today and his vehicle so he gets to choose the music. He played popular monster and it was an ah ha moment for me. Halocene’s voice is the same register as I sing in my head… So I like the other one because I can enjoy the song. Halocenes version ends up being my inner voice.

And that song is a little bit too close to home.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics –

Yeah

I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze
I’m not sure if I should say this, fuck, I’ll say it anyway
Everybody tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase
I don’t know if it’s a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah

I battle with depression, but the question still remains
Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage?
And my doctor tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase
Yeah, it’s not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?

Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day
And it’s probably ’cause my demons simultaneously rage
It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me

‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer
I’m a popular, popular monster
I break down, falling into love now with falling apart
I’m a popular, popular monster

I think I’m going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze
Every wall that I knock down is just a wall that I replace
I’m in a race against myself, I try to keep a steady pace
How the fuck will I escape if I never close my case?

Oh my God, I keep on stressing, every second that I waste
Is another second sooner to a blessing I won’t take
But my therapist will tell me that I’m going through a stage
Yeah, it’s not a fucking stage, I just wanna feel okay, okay

Motherfucker, now you got my attention
I need to change a couple things ’cause something is missing
And what if I were to lie? Tell you everything is fine
Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified

I fell asleep at the wheel again
Crashed my car just to feel again
It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me

‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer
I’m a popular, popular monster
I break down, falling into love now with falling apart
I’m a popular, popular fucking monster

Yeah, here we go again, motherfucker, oh
We’re sick and tired of wondering
Praying to a god that you don’t believe
We’re searching for the truth in the lost and found
So the question I ask is
Oh, where the fuck is your god now?

‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer
I’m a popular, popular monster
I break down, falling into love now with falling apart
I’m not a popular, popular monster

I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer
I’m a popular, popular monster


My 2 Cents –

There is something awful about this process. That loss of faith. In God, In community, In Self. And it is worse when you are being told that there is something wrong with you at the same time. There is not a damn thing wrong with being a monster. Be a monster, be yourself, Be Unique (10 points if you know where that is from)

Wild Wednesday

The Concert.

Okay. I have had time to calm down. We got dressed up. We looked amazing. We were so excited. We get there and find out that Falling in Reverse would not be there. Okay, That is only one of the TWO bands we were excited about. TBH we had not really heard Plush so we were ambivalent about them.

The Concert was half an hour after we were told to be there. We understood that was probably to give people time to find their seats. But People were arriving already drunk and loud. The idiot on the other side of Joe was screaming and smelled of beer. The smell of Pot permeated the whole damn stadium. (Not that I mind a good doobie but it was overwhelming.) When the concert did start it was not the order we were told. Plush came out first.

They were amazeballs.

I need to stress that because of how bad the rest was. The woman in the seats in front of us kept standing up to record with her cellphone. The screaming idiot did not stop for the music. All of the extra noise and smells sent Angel into a meltdown. So we decided to leave….And that is when I realized the woman on the other side of me was sitting on my dress. I tried to pull it loose and she just looked at me like I was an idiot. I literally had to ask her to please fucking get off my dress before she let me move.

We finally had to leave – we had only managed to handle three and a half of the songs. The rudeness of people ruined what could have been an amazing experience.

I don’t understand why people cannot just sit and enjoy the show. I only wish we could have stayed. Plush was amazing what we saw, and I imagine Disturbed were probably Better.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics –

I can’t unhear what you said
You’re so messed in the head
For all the pain that you spread to me

You got to live with the fact
You stuck a knife in my back
And then you laughed while you watched me bleed

What you got coming to ya you did to yourself
Now you got coming to ya everything i felt

Like sliding down a razor blade
Feeling every cut
Sucker punch into the face
Then you taste the blood
I hope it hurts a little
I hope it hurts you bad
I hope it hurts a little more than that
Like burning in the flames of fire
Turning into ash
Walking then you’re running
On a bed of broken glass
I hope it hurts a little
I hope it hurts you bad
I hope it hurts a little more, more than that

Sure hope you know how to pray
And how to self medicate
Cause when you come face to face with the fear

It’s there as long as you live
Don’t look to me to forgive
I think you know what you did
What you did what you did

What you got coming to yeah you did to yourself
Now you got coming to ya everything I felt



My 2 Cents –

So Thursday I am going to the Disturbed/Falling in Reverse/Plush Concert. I admit I had not really paid any attention to Plush. Now I am listening to them to fix that. I love the other two bands…and I am starting to grow fond of this one.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray
‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain
Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain
But that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep on begging me to stay
If I pull the trigger now then the demons go away
And I know my time is coming so there ain’t no time to waste
So that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep telling me to choose a side
It’s heaven or hell like it’s do or die
I’m a sad boy, you know better
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m not okay
It’s feeling like a hurricane in my brain
Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep giving me the worst advice
Kamikaze crash like a suicide
I’m a lost boy, you know better
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m insane
And maybe I’m a little bit, that won’t change
Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die but first things first
I’m a take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die but first things first
I’m a take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
Move
(Move)
Voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die, first things first
I’m a take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray
‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain
Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it

My 2 Cents –

So close…April has been a wild ride Y’all. I feel like being this busy is enough to drive anyone insane.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics –

The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray
‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain
Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain
But that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep on begging me to stay
If I pull the trigger now then the demons go away
And I know my time is coming so there ain’t no time to waste
So that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep telling me to choose a side
It’s heaven or hell like it’s do or die
I’m a sad boy, you know better
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m not okay
It’s feeling like a hurricane in my brain
Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep giving me the worst advice
Kamikaze crash like a suicide
I’m a lost boy, you know better
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m insane
And maybe I’m a little bit, that won’t change
Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die but first things first
I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die but first things first
I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
Move
(Move)
Voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die, first things first
I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray
‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain
Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it

My 2 Cents – this is the time of year when mental health is the hardest to deal with. Addiction, family issues, and simply put trauma responses end up making it more than disaster… and then those who are trying to find the way to handle the mental health problems end up feeling like they are to blame for ruining the holidays. You can really never tell what someone else is going through. Be kind, please.