Who am I

Writers gather their characters from various places. Some look at people in their own life, some try to create ones opposite of the people they know.

By nature, a writer is a people watcher. It helps to get descriptions and ideas.

Personally, I think that people watching should start with the mirror. Who am I? Look into your own personality traits, character flaws, desires, and fears. That gives you an idea of how to write a character. Practice describing you. Do a “character” sheet for you. In an attempt to show you what I mean… Here is a character sheet for me.

Name : Patricia Lynn Harris

Nickname /preferred name: Patti

Eyes: Chocolate Brown

Hair: natural dark brown /nearly black though she often colors it in shades of purple. Wears it between short and slightly more than shoulder length.

Height 5’2

Weight 290

Body shape pear

{Here is where you decide how in depth you want the sheet to be}

Birthplace – _________

Home – ____________

{Obviously I don’t feel personally I need those}

Strengths: Intelligence, flexibility, resilience, creativity

Flaws: Lazy, chronically ill, sloppy, physical weakness

Fears: severely claustrophobic, mildly Agoraphobia, Acrophobia

Personal descriptors: pacifist, feminist, pansexual, ptsd

Abilities : program in c#, draw, write, paint, resin, jewelry design, digital art, cover design, crotchet, needlepoint, networking, computer literacy, storytelling, sewing, piano, teaching, editing, publishing

Yeah, this is all very dry information. It gives you a skeleton to work with. Then you can take it and create an image of your character. Here’s what I see…

She was not your typical shut in. Patti was creative, and used that creativity to test her boundaries. Her dark eyes sparkled as she made the characters come alive. Running her hand through the lavender hair, she grumbled her frustration about the story not coming easy.

Though she had other projects awaiting her attention, this story was pulling at her. The self imposed deadline gave a reason to avoid doing the housework that she so wanted to avoid.

See how a few dry facts turn into a short and interesting scene? Do that with you and see what you can do. Then expand until you have a good character collection to work from. It will make character development second nature. (Also remember… Villains are characters, too)

Thursday Tea Party

Today is a coffee day. So much on my mind today, and no where near enough sleep.

Did you see that my bestie has a new book out? You can get it here. I am so proud of her. She worked really hard to get it out.

I applied, and was accepted, for a position with Coffee House Writers. I will be doing a bi-weekly article for them. My anxiety is through the roof. After all what do I write? Especially for the first one. After I get used to it, I don’t think that it will be as bad. The article has to use 5 of their tags… Which are expansive, but I am not one who is used to conformity with tags. I am stuck in a debate whether to write an article, a story, or a poem. It is so much to think on.

Have you preordered Inspiration Without a Home yet? It releases on the 30th of September. It is a hard story for me, my own. Memoirs are never easy to write. This was not any different.

I have been working on my studio. I nearly have all craft and art supplies moved in. I still have to organize it. I will be posting pictures as I get it useable.

Social anxiety is no joke. I have jewelry pieces and paintings to sell. I have an online store but it is not as active as I would like. I think it is due to me not being as good at taking pictures of what I make. My resin pieces and art always look so much better in person. I can get a table at the local flea market for $5 a day. The problem is that I am terrified that I will make a mess of selling it. So I may be putting out time and money for a fail. I love making the pieces. But I am often putting a lot of money into crafting with no return. So I am planning to do the flea market the first weekend in October.

Quicksilver poetry

Who will write the obituary

For the lost soul,

The one that hid from the world

Any truth of identity?

Too many times when

Hands stretched forth,

They were smacked away

Feelings pulled astray.

Lies, they called,

Sure that the truth denied.

So who writes the obituary,

When no one saw the truth

In what was said?

Kingdoms of Sin. In progress continues

Gareth sighed. He was of royal blood. This king thing was not supposed to be difficult. The kingdom of Greed was a right mess when he took the throne. The ones who were supposed to be monitoring the finances were stealing from the taxes brought in. The people were starving. He had to fight with himself not to allow his own greed to overtake him. Starving people couldn’t pay taxes after all.
Add in the visions and dreams here lately… Gareth really was starting to wonder if he was going mad. He had not been the sort to fancy a man in his bed. He enjoyed the ladies too much to even consider such a thing. His dreams have been so very erotic. Causing sensations that he had only imagined beforehand. And always the same man. Tall, pale skin, dark black hair down his back. Piercing blue eyes that he woke up wishing to see again.
Gareth would wake up hearing the same words, feeling as if he was being caressed by those long nimble hands. “My greed, you are mine, and mine alone.” There was never anyone else in his bed. He always woke up a mess as if there was a lover with him.
That, and Gareth could swear that Dracus would be on the throne when he would go to the throne room. The sight was both reassuring and disturbing. He heard the servants whispering. He was apparently the only one who saw the man. So he stopped reacting. He had enough of a mess to clean up in this kingdom without the people thinking that he was going mad. In fact he needed to create an illusion of strength to be able to get things done.
He had some weirdo running around calling himself the pie lich. Gareth didn’t really mind that this idiot was handing out free food, but inciting the poor people to hate the crown… Well he couldn’t allow that.
The dirgibles that flowed between the kingdoms were always searched, and the guards were watching for this Pie Lich. To no avail. Gareth was certain that the people were protecting their “hero”. He really did not want to kill the idiot, as it would create a martyr. Just a conversation perhaps, to get the crown bashing to stop. Perhaps even learn the magic woven into the pie pans he handed out. There were three types of pie pan, silver, gold, and platinum. The silver pan would refill itself once each day. The gold would refill three times each day. The platinum would stay filled.
The problem was that they only functioned for the family gifted with them. So, the magic could not be dissected by his mages. Gareth had already seen that failure.
Gareth walked to the window, feeling that moment of homesickness. He felt a hand gentle on his shoulder, even as Dracus’s voice slid into his mind. “Your mother visits my envy. She plans to see you. Do you regret that moment when you took the throne?”
Thrown into a flashback, Gareth thought about the first time he landed in this kindom. Two years ago, walking off of the gangplank from the dirigible. Thinking then of how he could run this kingdom better than the old man who held the throne.
Though the seas had ships for the fishing and such, the dirigibles were safer for passengers and goods. The fish in the seas were massive and mean. There were no fees for basic passage, only for the higher class passengers.
Though he was of royal blood, he was also a runaway. He had snuck into free seating, and then seethed with envy and rage the whole trip. His father had given his sister what was rightfully his. Gareth knew how childish he had been. When he climbed down the gangplank, he saw the misery around him. How people were to the point of stabbing each other over crusts of bread. Gareth felt the draw of the throne. He was born to rule!

Note ****

This is not a direct continue from the story. This is part of the second chapter. It is also before editing, so there might be changes to the final story… These are teases into what Serena is working on. If you want to read the whole thing then you will have to get the book when she finishes it. I will be working on the cover soon. And Serena has told me that this is her Nanowrimo project.

Tuesday Tunes

Unlike Pluto – Villain in my own Story

Lyrics –

I was the one who wanted nothing
I was the one who lived in pain
I was the one who strived for nothing
I was the one who stood in rain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
I am the one that’s holding grudges
I am the one that lives in pain
I am the one who’s out of touch and
I am the one inflicting pain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
And I’ve been the bad guy for so long, I’m growing tired
Is it too damn late to twist the plot to turn it round

My two cents –

I have been doing a lot of thinking about perspective lately. Especially since writing my memoir. We are all the villain in someone else’s story. When we become the villain in our own story is when we start to change. I know that my story as seen by others was different than it was for me. I can’t speak from their point of view. I can only speak my truth. So, when I tell my story… It will always be shaded by my perception. How it affected me. How it changed me. I try to look at others perspective, but it is not easy with some situations.

Inspiration without a home is a memoir. My story. It is not completely linear… Nor should it be. There is stories about abuse, about rape. There is a life in those pages. Not a good life, but one lived. That life created the woman I am today. And I am at least remotely sure that I was the villain of some of the story as told by others.

Finding Ideas

So in today’s society it seems like there’s more than we can handle in ideas out there. If you are like me, sometimes you have too many ideas. You just need to have an outside push to get the writing going.

Stories seem to be easier as far as ideas for me, but not everyone is the same. I struggle with topics for my poetry sometimes. So that is when I crawl the net looking for prompts to spark my muse.

Where do I look? Well, I personally like tumblr for prompts. The search feature helps. Look for #poetryprompts.

I also have a Pinterest board. WordPress can be a good source and there is a few who post to Instagram.

Seems like there is a few options. Sometimes you can even just put a call out on social media for ideas.

Note that many prompts can be used for writing, for art, and are interchangeable.

Where do you seek your ideas?

Thursday Tea Party

Morning my lovely friends! What is that? It’s not morning for you? Hmmm well it is morning somewhere… I hesitate to wish you good day, as that seems more like a farewell than a hello.

Either way, welcome to my tea party! Today, I have been having belly issues so I am going with my favourite lemon and ginger tea.

As for the announcements, there is quite a lot going on.

  • Under the Mists is available in Paperback as well as the ebook. Www.books2read.com/underthemists
  • My memoir Inspiration Without a Home is Available for Preorder. https://books2read.com/u/m2rRVG
  • I finished writing Whispers of the Muse. It is in layout and I will announce the link soon.
  • Fae Corps publishing is still taking submissions for Faery Footprints until September 30.
  • For the month of September Fae Corps will be posting a daily prompt for to encourage poetry.
  • I will be doing the sketchtember prompts for my Patreon this year.

Whew, that is a lot of announcements. I am working on doing the abuse playlist on YouTube. I would be glad to provide a link for those who want it, but it is not something that I just want to random post.

Sigh, now I must do the dishes. So I will leave you with a question… What would you like to see upcoming.

Friday Funday

Trying to do a writing based fun day.

Admittedly, some of them are writing tips. Some are word funnies. Hope that you enjoyed, and if you have one feel free to share it with me!

Kingdoms of Sin. In progress. By Serena.

“You’re mine…Only mine. Soon you will understand this too. My Envy.” The Queen shook her head as the voice was silk in her mind. Shaking away the ghost of a caress on her dusky cheek, she sat up and looked about. Her bedchamber was as cold and empty as before she woke. She knew it had been a dream. It was always a dream.
It was the same dream night after night. Every night since the first night she sat upon the throne. Of the seven kingdoms, hers was the only one that had ever been inherited. All of the thrones were cursed. Though at that moment, she wondered if hers was the worst. She wanted the peace of mind she once had to return. Most of the kingdom’s population only mildly felt the sin of the throne… Unless the king or queen let the throne rule.
Dracus the Apocalypse long ago had ridden across the lands. He was ruthless in his determination, and his blood lust. He was accompanied by his seven generals. He gifted each one a throne. He named each kingdom for a sin. Rumors of him turning his beloved Pride into a blood sucker were whispered when no one could hear them. After all Vampire was not something anyone wanted to be heard by the queen. People who crossed her were known to disappear. Sometimes crossing Pride was as simple as being just too pretty. Pride was one of the only two kingdoms still ruled by its original ruler. Wrath was the other, and wrath was a wasteland. Gluttony was also rumored to be a vampire, but she is the second to sit that throne.
The Queen of Envy sighed as she climbed from her bed. Knowing that he was dead did not help. She had been warned that the throne brought madness. It was why her father left her as his heir. Her twin brother, though older, was ill suited to sit Envy’s throne. She had recently heard rumors of her twin taking over the throne of Greed. That throne would suit him. She pulled the robe tighter as she crossed into the throne room to face the sight she knew would be there. Even expecting him, he was a sight.
He sat too easily on the uncomfortable seat. Barely visible, and she knew from experience, only visible to her. His broad shoulders moving widely, as though he was laughing. “Come my little envy, tell me what troubles you!” His dark features were barely visible in the candlelit room. She would not see him during the day. His voice never left her. Dracus was her great grandfather. The original Envy was heavy with child when the sins locked him away. He was also the sexiest man she had ever laid eyes upon. Long Dark hair cascading in a thick mane over a broad muscular frame. The urge to reach out and caress the stubble covering the high cheekbones had her shaking her head. None of the thoughts that she was having felt even remotely sane. Then again, nothing surrounding Dracus or the seven sins was ever sane.
The tale goes that Dracus conquered the whole world and split it into seven equal island kingdoms. Dracus the Apocalypse was a powerful wizard who delved into dark and evil magics. He named each of the kingdoms after one of the seven deadly sins. He cursed the thrones so that he could control each of the rulers. Then he set his most trusted warriors to the thrones. The sins were mostly afraid of his power. He knew what was in their minds. Five of them banded together to lock him away, certain that Dracus would be their destruction. Pride and envy were loyal beyond measure. Both his mistresses, They wanted nothing of the plan. Dracus told them to go along with the plan, promising them both that he would ride again. it prompted the old children’s rhyme.

When again Dracus rides,
Blood will rain freely from the sky
Those whose sin is plain to see
Should run, lest his gaze fall upon thee.

Choosing instead not to acknowledge him, she walked through the throne room heading to the kitchen. The cook would likely warm her some milk, much as he had when she was little. Unsettled nerves would not help her to deal with the curse. It did help that this was home. She was no stranger here, even if she felt different since her coronation. The servants here were the same ones who had been here throughout her childhood. The cook was aging, and already training the one who would replace him. The queen quickly smiled to hide the sudden desire to have his peace of mind. Though she knew no one could read the sudden emotional surge from her mind, The tense smile gave her a focus point. The worried look on the old cooks face let her know she was making things worse. He had been trained in her grandmother’s time, and likely saw her father going down the crazy path as well. Probably more so. After all, if her father had similar thoughts…well Dracus was not exactly her father’s type. Swallowing an almost hysterical chuckle she faced the old cook determined not to appear as insane as she was feeling.
“Trouble sleeping, Your Majesty?” His voice was soothing in the calm night air, familiarity easing the tension in her neck far better than she expected it to.
“Yes, Karl. I was hoping to talk my way into a cup of warm cinnamon milk. Much like you would make when I was a child.” She hoped the regulated tone she was using would ease his worry. The cook looked her over once more, then apparently not seeing what was keeping her awake, nodded.
The queen grabbed one of the faded stools that was next to the prep island in the center of the kitchen. They were meant to hold children, but her frame was still small and slender. Though her family was human, it was said that her mother was a dusky skinned elf…It was also said that though they were twins, she resembled her mother greatly where her brother was the spitting image of their father. The twins never truly knew their mother. The old king spoke of her as a whisper in the night, a legendary thief that fell in love with the king of a simple kingdom. The two had a passion that the servants would speak of well after the elf had run. She grew restless as the children aged. The queen barely remembered a lovely dark skinned face from her childhood. The twins were but six when their mother left. Though it was painful, their father spoke only kind things of their mother. Raising the twins with love, The old king never chose another mate. Queen Ella of Envy thought she finally could understand why. She wondered again more seriously if her father ever saw Dracus the same way. If the seductive imagery would be there if she was male. She also wondered if her twin really took greed, and if he suffered the assault on the mind that she was. She honestly found that idea funny enough for a chuckle under her breath. The look from the cook had her quickly straightening up.
The cook brought her a mug of warmed milk sprinkled with cinnamon sugar and some snicker-doodles. Her favorite cookies, Of course he would remember. Karl was more like an uncle than a servant. He had been there long before Ella could remember. She wanted to beg him not to retire. Her sense of royal pride wouldn’t let her. Instead, She thanked him, and sat enjoying the treat he had brought her.
The king’s recent passing had nearly everyone in the kingdom on edge. Especially because he was found on the throne clutching the miniature painting of her mother with a smile on his face. Ella had not had time to grieve his passing. The throne could not be empty. Some could remember the time the king’s elder sister took the throne. She lasted less than a week. She also is said to have done quite a lot of damage to Envy during her reign. The ill-suited did not sit the throne for long. Dracus apparently was quick to drive the people insane who did not belong on the thrones. It was said this happened in all of the kingdoms. Sloth and Greed went through the rulers the most. It drew those already maddened by their own sin. Those suited for the throne could ignore the madness it brought. The kingdom would then flourish under a suitable ruler. Ella was determined to survive and be suited for the throne her father died on. Regardless of creepy dead relatives, or her own weird desires. In order to survive, she had to be the one in control of her mind.
The comforts of childhood helped. She finished the treats, and then cautiously headed back to bed. She needed to focus on her intended destination to avoid letting her mind be taken again by the vision of Dracus. She was the queen after all, this was her kingdom! It was her mind that he was trying to invade, and she refused to allow it.
Strengthened will, and exhaustion, insured that the rest of the night passed uneventful. She dealt with the duties of court mechanically, needing to be seen as the sane and in control person suited for the throne. She was starting to hear the servants whispering when they thought she could not hear. Her nerves were starting to stretch thin. As the last of the petitioners stepped up to the front, Ella couldn’t hold the surprise from her face. The guards had allowed this person to approach while wearing a tightly drawn black hooded cape. A slender frame that was covered completely by the soft material of the cape.
Ella cleared her throat. “And who are you to come before us dressed like a rogue?” She battled the jump as the voice of Dracus carressed her ears.
“Don’t you recognize her my dear Envy? She who bore you stands before you.”
Ella shook her head and commanded. “Identify yourself, or face the royal dungeon!”
The hooded stranger lowered her hood to reveal a beautiful elf with obsidian skin. Her long flowing white hair flying free behind her, and piercing blood red eyes. “Hold your Majesty. I am a friend. I have returned to mourn a man who I loved, and beg your forgiveness. Even though I do not deserve it.” Her husky voice was but a faint memory to the queen, but it was familiar.
“Mama?” Ella gasped, too shocked to be the stoic face of the queen. She had honestly never expected to lay eyes on this woman again, and after her father’s death… Well it was too much. Angry tears filled the Queen’s eyes, nearly as quickly as questions bubbled up in her heart. So many that she wanted to ask, but was held back by the idea of the appearance of weakness. Instead, she gripped the throne until she could compose herself appropriately.
Dracus, again, was in her mind. “She is not here to harm you. She is an immortal being. Of course I can grant you that. Immortality. I would gladly give you an eternity. You are eternally mine.”
In some ways his spiel was helpful. It gave her the distraction to be queen again, instead of poor little Ella. “Welcome home mother. I am afraid that you chose to return too late. You will find that your welcome is not as warm as His Majesty’s would have been. However, this is your home. You may rest here.”
Ella stood up and motioned for the guard to close the hall. “Join me for dinner. Until then, I believe that you know where your marital bedroom was? Or do you need an escort?”
Her mother, Indrianna’s, beautiful face held a dark grin that didn’t quite reach those hard red eyes. “I remember. Ella, please allow me to explain myself.” Her pleads fell flat as Ella walked away. Indrianna sighed. She saw the stiffness in Ella as she walked away. Perhaps she should have gone to Gareth first. She needed to do this, with both of the twins. She loved their father deeply, but she had been unable to handle seeing him age. He refused to allow her to use magic and keep him young and alive. It tore her to pieces, knowing that he was so taken with Dracus, that he would refuse to continue on living for her. She had expected that he would still be around more than eleven years after she left. Dracus’s call was too seductive. And now her twins had both fallen victim to Dracus. She expected Gareth to be Dracus’s. For as a child he always had an envious and greedy nature. He wanted all of the attention. Ella was a sweet natured child. Generous and kind, always. Indrianna failed to see that in her now. To be honest, Ella was acting more like her mother’s people than her father’s.
If the guards were watching they would have seen a wry grin on the former queen before she heeded towards her former bedroom. Indrianna ignored Dracus as she passed into bittersweet memories. Dracus had appeared to her ever since her marriage. She also knew more information about who and what Dracus was than anyone. She could have saved her precious Francis… If he had let her. She pulled the hood back over her head to hide the tears that she could no longer stop.
She may have handled her choices badly, but she was still a noble daughter from a prominent house. The daughter of the master of madness and the baddest necromancer in all of the realms. Her posture improved with that thought. She slipped into her bedroom. With a sigh, she faced the idea that this would be harder than expected. Francis was a good man.
To be continued…

(Pattimouse’s note. I originally planned for a campaign setting based on this world for D20 tabletop RPG. The story has apparently decided to come first… I don’t want to do Dedras as a nom de plume unless I do that setting for the game. If it ends up as just the story, then it will be Serena’s.)

Quicksilver poetry

©2019 Patricia Harris

Sleep elu,

Sitting in my bed

Still shaken from

The monsters that live

Inside my head.

Revisiting memories

Is far away from

The way that I need

To help me sleep.

Shaky in the dark,

I dare not turn on

The bright overhead light.

For though the fear

Blankets my skin,

I do not want

To awaken the ones

Who are still sleeping.