Speaking out and why

        Those who know me know I am a very outspoken person. I try to be as honest as possible. Mostly because my memory is awful,  i really would forget the lie. Easiest way to end up caught. There are topics I voice that I know make some uncomfortable. I refuse to be silenced because what I have to say makes any one feel bad.  I was told I was lying when i first spoke my truth.  Others suffered because of this.  I was sexually abused. I was terrified of my abuser doing exactly what he threatened to do. So it took time after to speak. He told me no one would believe me. They proved him right.  I was thirteen years old when I finally found the courage.  So he was allowed to continue his life,  and I was thought insane.  He did to others what was done to me.  They were heard and believed. He has been in jail for about six years now.

I speak now to take back my power.
I speak now because I believe the truth should be heard.
I speak now for those who may find comfort in my story.
I speak now because I survived. 
I speak now because no one should feel insane for telling their story.
I speak now so that my abuser and those like him never win.

Letter rant.

Dear manager of the taco bell in the pilot at hubastadt, in.,
    You are part of what is wrong with the way people view minimum wage jobs.  Yes I was irate.  Consider the fact that I had already been made to wait.  Then your employees failed to put my items in my bag. So I came back in and asked them to fix this.  I was not even raising my voice the first time I returned to the counter. I merely said that there was a problem.  The fact that I was causing my trucker to wait was something that should have been noticed. Still I went back to the truck to find they still failed to give me all that I had ordered.  By this point it was pouring rain.  So I came back in… nearly falling due to the rain.  So yes I was yelling.  But to tell me that they are only fifteen year old kids and then say that if I thought I could do that job better… well I have.  I have worked fast food.  I was expected to do my job.  Excusing them from doing what they are being paid for is why people think that only teenagers work fast food.  If your kids can’t handle doing the job then they have two choices,  either get a different job or deal with the consequences of doing it wrong.
                             Sincerely,
                          The bitch you were being patronizing to

Practical versus sensual

                  Over the years,  I have become very practical about how I write. Due to low money, I started writing more digitally.  I convinced myself that I enjoyed it just as much, if not more because of the fact that editing was easier in digital. I forced myself to forget the lovely sensual pleasures of a pencil in hand. Or the smell of lead as one writes. The joy of seeing your own handwriting on paper. Still digital allows easier editing,  and I  do loose things written on paper far easier.  However I think it is something as the digital age progresses that we are loosing.  As we stretch for practicalities,  we too often pass on just the sensual aspects of what we do.
                       I enjoyed my tenth & eleventh  grade years in high school,  mostly for the teachers who encouraged unique minds to be themselves. One class in particular, creative writing. The class was an English /language arts option.  The teacher was laid back and easy going.  The first two days of the week were reading. Her rules those days were only that you read, she didn’t care if it were comic book or novel.  We had four books assigned (one per quarter ) but otherwise we had freedom of choice.  We did have to do a report on what we read,  basically review it for the teacher. Then the last three days were writing.  Those days she wheeled in a huge A/V cart. There was various types of paper (construction,  college ruled, kindergarten lined, tissue,  etc) and various writing implements (pens, pencils,  crayons,  colored pencils,  etc) on the cart for us to use.  Rules for the writing days were simple.  Each quarter we had to finish one project.  That meant a rough draft, a edited and proofread draft (by a classmate ), a draft proofread by the teacher, and a final draft.  That opened up the whole class for creative learning.  I truly believe the ability to use so many different mediums helped. Which mediums catch your fancy?  Do you create best when you use just one type? 

Let’s Make America What It Was Always Meant To Be: The Home of The Free and the Brave…to Include ALL OF US, Not Just a Chosen Few

Kim D. Bailey's avatarKim D. Bailey

I wasn’t going to write about this.

In fact, giving attention to the debacle feels like I’m helping spread the message first intended by Rick Tyler, an independent candidate in the race for Tennessee’s 3rd congressional district seat.

However, after careful consideration, I decided my reaction in words here is necessary.

It’s important that I not only speak for myself against an obviously bigoted sign and message, but for everyone else who was denigrated by this person.

In my great state of Tennessee, here in the United States of America, Rick Tyler put up the following sign as part of his campaign:

Courtesy of WRCB TV , Chattanooga, TN
I was born in Tennessee in Hamilton County in 1966, so I know the dark underbelly of bigotry, misogyny, patriarchal dominance, and religious persecution first-hand.

This was the culture I was brought up in. My family, primarily made up of relatively…

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Recognised during my lifetime

               I took one of those internet quizzes… you know the sort. It was supposed to analyze my writing and tell me which famous author my writing most resembles.  I was tickled to see it claim my writing most resembles Edgar Allan Poe. It also tickled my Joe. When I feel like giving up on publishing,  because of what seems to be so little interest,  he has always pointed something out to me.  Two of my most favorite writers were virtually unknown in their own lifetimes.  Edgar Allan Poe and Emily Dickinson. I admit that the thought has kept me from giving up.
                       Now I believe I have mentioned before the fact that I have issues communicating sometimes.  I mentioned Joe’s amusement to my sister,  and I think it came out wrong.  She came to my defense quickly,  telling me how much of an honor that was. She claimed I was recognised.  I see this from her view.  Yes,  some know and enjoy my writing.  However,  it often feels like I am failing. I am terrible at marketing my work.  And very few of those close to me even see what I do worth speaking of.  So I am not recognised in a way I see it. To me,  being recognised means that I at least have any one who knows my work enough to do a review.  So far the only sales have been to family (my sister aforementioned). I am not about to stop writing.  I have no choice,  writing has always been a major part of who I am. Still writing does not mean I have to publish. So that which keeps it going is the idea that even if it is unappreciated now, it may still touch those it needs to later. 

Breadcrumbs from the Void #14 by Alex Schumacher (Not So) Civil Ceremonies: Rituals of Writing, From Five2One Magazine

Kim D. Bailey's avatarKim D. Bailey

Check out my colleague, Alex Schumacher, and his column about writing rituals. Just click the link below.


Irreverent, hilarious, and REAL.

Alex Schumacher’s Column in Five2one Magazine: Breadcrumbs from the Void #14

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Untitled from Life drops

The broken heart
Drips the ink,
That from the
Poet’s pen will leak.

Verses torn from
Pain so barely borne,
Written with a soul
Determined to grow.

Reaching out in word
To staunch the flow
Of ink from the ever
Sharper pen.

I am writing!

              Vacation seems like it should be a bad time to write.  It’s work, right? Still for me, at home I find it harder to actually set the time aside for writing.  Too much else to do. So much household chores that never seem to be done.  Too many distractions,  social media and other entertainment options. I realize I should be more disciplined about my writing,  but if I structure too much,  my muse will abandon me. I have spent two hours today writing.  Cleaning up my projects helped.  I backed up a couple of projects that really aren’t working,  and cleared them from my writing app. I rewrote two pages that were lost in a save mishap.  I wrote more on a couple of my works in progress. I wrote another poem for Life Drops. I am also of course writing this blog post.  Still.  I am doing so much better on my vacation with my writing than I do normally.  I have no internet to distract.  No housework to distract.  I only have my kindle and my family.  I am hoping that I can publish the second book in the Bedtime tales series before summer ends. I am aiming to finish one of the other books (full novels)  before my 45th birthday. That gives me a little over three and a half years.  🙂

Illustration installation

I am pleased to announce that I found an illustrator for Bedtime Tales: The Princess Lost. Her name is Shannon Alyce Riddle. I look forward to publication soon.  I will keep you updated.

Personal safety

                In a time of such marvelous inventions coming out,  I am appalled by how many are designed to protect women from assault. Now don’t misunderstand. I am not saying women should be raped. I am not saying that the inventions are bad. I merely am appalled by the need for such items. I am a survivor.  So I taught my children personal space and responsibility.  I taught my son to respect women.  I taught my daughter that her body is hers, and no one has the right to touch her without her permission. Yet, I know that there are people out there who would anyway. It kills me to know that someday she will not be safe. I am allowed the sadness that the world is not a safe place.  I asked her what she would do if someone tried to grab her, tried to force her to do things against her will, and my beautiful twelve year old girl said ” I will kick him in the leg, then the nuts and I will scream! ” While crass, it feels good to know she won’t be a easy target. She doesn’t separate.  If it’s someone she knows who tries to force her to do things or a stranger. Her body is hers. And I have made sure she knew it.  I cannot help wondering if more children of both genders were taught that concept how the statistics of sexual assault and abuse would be? After all abusers seduce.  They convince the child that even though the child is not comfortable with what is being done,  that it is something the abuser is allowed to do. I mourn the need for the devices to “prevent ” sexual assault because I believe that if as children we are taught not to do or allow certain behavior… well as adults it wouldn’t happen. At least not as often.  The ones who did at that point would be seen as deviants.  They would then be treated as the criminals that they are.