I still have a cold. I am trying to get my creative juices flowing regardless of the sinuses and the other symptoms. (Hence why I did a penguin, I feel like a penguin.) I have made it through half of the week… I am scheduling tomorrow and Friday. Making it at least to Wednesday feels like an accomplishment. I have been doing some uploading to DeviantArt this week as well. (New phone has more space so I have the app…it makes me more likely to visit the site….) I have been doing less on Facebook and spending time on Tumblr. I still am reachable on all of my social media sites but I think that I spent too much time with Facebook and now I need to spread my time around. It should be less toxic for me to embrace the way each social media site works for shorter periods of time.
[Verse 1] Woke up late, car’s a mess Spilled some coffee on my dress Trying to pick out a song Drove too fast, missed a stop Somehow a Policeman saw How am I gonna pay for that?
[Pre-Chorus] I stayed up ’til 3 a.m last night Watching Netflix on my phone ’cause They cut off the power line Drank up the rest of the box wine Oh, I know it wasn’t smart And I say this every time [Chorus] I can’t adult today at all I wanna go right back to bed And pretend I’m not feeling well There’s nothing that I wanna say But ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I can’t adult today I can’t adult today
[Verse 2] Got to work, powered through Headache started around 2 ‘Cause I had to work through lunch Finally, I finished up Made it home and had enough But I found a dog chewed couch
[Pre-Chorus] I stayed up ’til 3 a.m last night Watching Netflix on my phone ’cause They cut off the power line Drank up the rest of the box wine Oh, I know it wasn’t smart And I say this every time
[Chorus] I can’t adult today at all I wanna go right back to bed And pretend I’m not feeling well There’s nothing that I wanna say But ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I can’t adult today [Bridge] Just another cup of coffee I can’t adult today Just a little bit more money I can’t adult today 10 alarms just to remind me I can’t adult today Tomorrow I will try again
[Chorus] I can’t adult today at all I wanna go right back to bed And pretend I’m not feeling well There’s nothing that I wanna say But ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I can’t adult today I can’t adult today I can’t adult today
My Two Cents- being sick sucks. Catching up on the work I should have done whilst sick sucks. I wanna go right back to bed…
Last week I said that I was going to try to be more responsible with my own blog… the more observant among you have noticed that I have not been posting the drawings for the past two days. The weather changes and my crappy immune system equals I am sick. It is not life threatening but it is bad enough that I am barely out of the bed today. I am hoping to be able to do some periodic posts this week instead of the scheduled stuff… mostly because I feel like warmed over death at the moment. My sinuses are driving me nuts and I am so going back to bed. Peace out y’all.
This is the piece that caused me all the emotional drama earlier. I was trying to show a caterpillar with a transformation of a butterfly attached. The feedback is that it looks like the butterfly is pooping. Yes. yes, it does. And now that will forever be what the transformation is. SHIT. Thanks.
However I made myself attempt another piece because I was honestly ready to delete the piece, the program and all. I needed to make myself work past the hurt and the disgust with what I had created to try to figure out creation again.
Found another NEW one! Trying Human Came across my Facebook feed. It seems to have some sci-fi and some horror aspects. The art is very graphic novel quality. (Which on reading the About page to find the update schedule was apparently what they were aiming for) It says they update 3 times a week. I will be trying to get caught up on what looks like a fun story. Join me.
Let me preface this by saying that I don’t know what I am changing yet…if anything. I am entering a little bit of a restructuring of my own life and social media. I still plan on being here. I am still me. However, I recently broke ties to a friend of over a decade. This has been coming for the past year. It should surprise no one.
I don’t know if I have anything to change, however a decade of shared speces and shared faces means that I at the very least have to consider the change… and the backlash it will have on the people around me. Though I share easily my life here, I don’t feel like I should be pointing fingers at others and writing their sins. What is toxic to me may not be to them. We can each only tell our own truth… whatever that may be.
I do post on social media vague rants and those who are close to me can figure it out…but I don’t point fingers. I don’t feel like it is my place to call someone out. It is my place to try and work through my own emotions and my reaction to the situation. Hence why I vague post. They are my way to work through the issue. Comments end up helping me to see if I am way out in left field or missing something.
Right now I am feeling grief. I am processing it. I am pulling myself away from the shared spaces. I am also refusing to allow my grief to stop the forward motion of Fae Corps. She requested that her books be pulled. She has decided to cut the ties completely. I think that is probably the best idea, as I will continue to get hurt otherwise. She left me feeling like I am hard to love, and hard to get along with. That is my responsibility to deal with.
I am back to dealing with this blog and the Fae Corps blog. I spent all day Sunday getting it dealt with, and I am determined to keep my blog from falling behind. Maybe I will have an easier time doing so with my mind not distracted by the issues I was facing.
I break the ice So they don’t see my size And I have to be nice Or I’ll be the next punchline
I’m just the best friend in Hollywood movies Who only exist to continue the story The girl gets the guy while I’m standing off-screen So I’ll wait for my cue to be comedic relief
Can’t be too loud Can’t be too busy If I don’t answer now, are they still gonna need me? Can’t be too proud Can’t think I’m pretty Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?
I say I’m okay ‘Cause they wouldn’t care anyway And I could try to explain But my efforts in vain They can’t relate to how I’ve
Drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors If that’s what it took for me to look in the mirror I’ve done every diet to make me look thinner So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior?
Can’t be too loud And can’t be too busy If I don’t answer now, are they still gonna need me? Can’t be too proud and Can’t think I’m pretty Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?
Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend
It’s funny when I think a guy likes me And it’s funny when I’m the one who says, “Let’s go to eat” It’s funny when I’m asked to go out on Halloween Dresses and thigh highs, while I hide my body
Can’t be too loud And can’t be too busy If I don’t answer now, are they still gonna miss me?
Can’t be too loud And can’t be too busy If I don’t answer now, are they still gonna need me? Can’t be too proud and Can’t think I’m pretty Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?
Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend
I’ve drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors
My Two Cents- I have been fat almost all my life. I was tiny before I hit puberty…but I hit puberty…I got fat. or so I was told.
I was two in the picture above.
And here I was ten. Through most of my teen years my mother had me on every fad diet there was. She was certain I would die before I was 30 by heart attack. So certain that she had me convinced.
My senior year of high school…I was 200 lbs….
I ended up 450 lbs and unable to move…but hey…I survived 30…
I am down to 270. I am still the same girl. the teen that didn’t understand what was wrong with me. The person who never felt like she looked good enough to be counted as cute, much less pretty.
Pattimouse 