The broken heart
Drips the ink,
That from the
Poet’s pen will leak.
Verses torn from
Pain so barely borne,
Written with a soul
Determined to grow.
Reaching out in word
To staunch the flow
Of ink from the ever
Sharper pen.
The broken heart
Drips the ink,
That from the
Poet’s pen will leak.
Verses torn from
Pain so barely borne,
Written with a soul
Determined to grow.
Reaching out in word
To staunch the flow
Of ink from the ever
Sharper pen.
I am a poet. My children to my pride have shown themselves capable of great pieces. Now I should mention that I have not always felt good about my poetry. I have so often been told how depressing it was that I took it to heart. However, I wrote because it was how I healed. As an abuse survivor, I learned that I needed an outlet for the poison that was forced into my soul. Or I would not ever be whole. So I wrote to heal. I wrote for the love of poetry. So I would never be as good as Emily Dickinson or Edgar Allen Poe. I wrote because it was part of me. I did not force anyone to read what I had written. So if it was depressing…. that was fine. I could accept that. Then I was talking to a social worker. I mentioned that my poetry was considered depressing. Though I think she was being sarcastic, she said something that got me thinking. She asked “Isn’t all poetry?” There are various types of poetry that express different emotions. Discounting sad poetry is basically like saying that feeling sad is unacceptable. Poetry should be able to have a nice range of emotions. It is after all an expression of the poets heart in word form. Then someone else I care about said that his beautiful poetry was so sad. My response “Poetry is often sad. I’m told mine are depressing. Just because they are sad doesn’t have to deny their beauty.” Not every poet can write greeting card poetry or love poems. And abusing the poets whose writing causes other emotions is not acceptable either.
I am a poet first and a writer second. I just do better with poetry than I do with stories. I am not bad at stories, just better with poems. Now there is a reason I state that. My daughter came home and was asking about poetry. She has no patience with writing stories. So I was helping her with her poetry for English class. At this point I was tickled to find out that she enjoys writing poetry. Mind you I have had three children. My eldest has written one beautiful poem. Then he allowed his own self doubt to keep him from writing. My middle one (who due to situations I refuse to explain here was given up for adoption at birth ) writes wonderful poetry. I am so tickled that the three of them have shown such talent. It actually got me thinking. What do we pass on in our genetics? My children are all taller than I. None of them look exactly like me. My daughter looks the closest. There is personality traits that all of them possess that I have. So that leaves me curious. What do you think we pass on in our genetics?
Occasionally on my personal Facebook page I will post a good night that is a small poem….something not truly long enough in my opinion for inclusion in a poetry volume.
This is last night’s.
Well today was hell.
The night as well.
Time for me
To let life be.
Rest my head
In my bed.
Time to wish for all the best
And pass it to all of you,
Nothing else but sweet dreams
And gentle rest,
Till the morrow comes.
Nary a thought
to organization,
Not one to abide
Micro managing
My time.
As long as I do
Does it matter when?
Or can it be late
When my mind refuses
To quiet at all?
Or early morning
As I watch the dawn?
Discipline in my work
Is not the same as
For another.
For me know that I
am doing.
And it is enough.
there is a song for
each heart that has ever
touched themselves to mine.
playing in the theatre in
my often troubled mind.
Joy nor sadness truly reigns,
as heart rending is often queen.
faces with songs exist
long after emotion and name
have fallen prey to time.
such power these sounds have
to long after romance has died
still bring the heart to tears.
what allows another to see the moment
before it has come to be,
so well to write the words and notes
that will eternally haunt the mind
remembering pain and joy in the moment?
is the muse so cruel
that the songs
that tug
the heartstrings
are but inspiration
and quick pen?
the moments caught and held
meant to entertain the masses
end up breaking the heart.
Sleep is a dangerous thing
Hidden from me yet again.
Elusive as a butterfly
Once caught on the wind,
Drifting endlessly away.
Stress and worry
Steals easily,
Peace of mind
Leaking away
Like water through
A broken pipe.
Even when reached
No guarantee of peace
In the ever elusive sleep,
For sometimes all that occurs
Is merely to waken…
Waken and weep.
So many bright
Flickering pinpricks
Of brightly shining lights.
Just this year have quietly
Been doused into the
Darkness of the ever after.
For them eternity has begun,
But for those who remain?
More and more of this drizzling
Grim and lonely rain.
For just a moment,
The light of their talent
Allowed us reprieve
From the pain.
Off to the eternal
So many this year.
Leaving only
To shed a tear.
I am a writer, a poet. A lot of what I write is gibberish to start. I then go back and polish, much as one would polish a gem. It is for me the easiest way I know to deal with major issues is to write it out. However here lately I often find myself needing to watch more of what I say. It’s so easy to be careless with our words….and those careless words can do more harm than we realize. I have always understood this. One of my favorite poems, that i discovered in High School, spoke of this….
——————————————————————–
The Stone
By Wilfred Wilson Gibson
“And will you cut a stone for him,
To set above his head?
And will you cut a stone for him–
A stone for him?” she said.
Three days before, a splintered rock
Had struck her lover dead–
Had struck him in the quarry dead,
Where, careless of a warning call,
He loitered, while the shot was fired–
A lively stripling, brave and tall,
And sure of all his heart desired . . .
A flash, a shock,
A rumbling fall . . .
And, broken ‘neath the broken rock,
A lifeless heap, with face of clay,
And still as any stone he lay,
With eyes that saw the end of all.
I went to break the news to her:
And I could hear my own heart beat
With dread of what my lips might say;
But some poor fool had sped before;
And, flinging wide her father’s door,
Had blurted out the news to her,
Had struck her lover dead for her,
Had struck the girl’s heart dead in her,
Had struck life, lifeless, at a word,
And dropped it at her feet:
Then hurried on his witless way,
Scarce knowing she had heard.
And when I came, she stood alone–
A woman, turned to stone:
And, though no word at all she said,
I knew that all was known.
Because her heart was dead,
She did not sigh nor moan.
His mother wept:
She could not weep.
Her lover slept:
She could not sleep.
Three days, three nights,
She did not stir:
Three days, three nights,
Were one to her,
Who never closed her eyes
From sunset to sunrise,
From dawn to evenfall–
Her tearless, staring eyes,
That, seeing naught, saw all.
The fourth night when I came from work,
I found her at my door.
“And will you cut a stone for him?”
She said: and spoke no more:
But followed me, as I went in,
And sank upon a chair;
And fixed her grey eyes on my face,
With still, unseeing stare.
And, as she waited patiently,
I could not bear to feel
Those still, grey eyes that followed me,
Those eyes that plucked the heart from me,
Those eyes that sucked the breath from me
And curdled the warm blood in me,
Those eyes that cut me to the bone,
And cut my marrow like cold steel.
And so I rose and sought a stone;
And cut it smooth and square:
And, as I worked, she sat and watched,
Beside me, in her chair.
Night after night, by candlelight,
I cut her lover’s name:
Night after night, so still and white,
And like a ghost she came;
And sat beside me, in her chair,
And watched with eyes aflame.
She eyed each stroke,
And hardly stirred:
she never spoke
A single word:
And not a sound or murmur broke
The quiet, save the mallet stroke.
With still eyes ever on my hands,
With eyes that seemed to burn my hands,
My wincing, overwearied hands,
She watched, with bloodless lips apart,
And silent, indrawn breath:
And every stroke my chisel cut,
Death cut still deeper in her heart:
The two of us were chiselling,
Together, I and Death.
And when at length my job was done,
And I had laid the mallet by,
As if, at last, her peace were won,
She breathed his name, and, with a sigh,
Passed slowly through the open door:
And never crossed my threshold more.
Next night I laboured late, alone,
To cut her name upon the stone.
—————————————————–
So I try to think before I speak… but I really have no filter. Most people who know me realize this and overlook the random strange that occasionally comes out from me. However I do try to be kind. So much so that I have avoided a few topics because I know I cannot be kind. While I would feel no problem with my actions when it comes to being cruel to those involved… being mean there brings me to close to acting like them. Do you censor yourself on any topic? If so why?
So your in pain?
Stop thinking.
Just start writing
The first things
That come to mind
Continue till you can
Completely clear your mind.
Clean it up later.
Don’t structure.
Just write.
It’s difficult to write?
Only because you make it so.
Writing doesn’t have
to make sense.
It is merely a way
for the heart to bleed
emotional poison
into a form that
Your mind can process
and comprehend.
You have problems
with getting what
Is in your head
onto the paper?
Because you worry
Too much about
writing it perfect.
Write crap.
Push gibberish
on the page….
Then later.
After you have
had time.
Then edit.
Pretty it.
Squeeze your soul
From gibberish tossed
Carelessly to the page.