This week I am going to talk about book covers. These are for future volumes of Poetry. At this point I am probably sitting on more covers than I will live to write…but I have plans for each of them. And I enjoy the creation of the cover.
Occult Madness will be religious poetry. Ocular Dystopia will be visual poetry. Naked verse is just going to be a regular volume with no theme.
Mental Health is a tricky thing.
I have this year struggled to find a therapist. I wish I could say it is all my doing that is causing this disconnect. At least then I could point the finger and go…This is what I need to fix. I wish I could just heal my mind and never need therapy again. (I literally just had a therapist accuse me of wanting to be broken because it was all I have ever known. I can’t even explain to her what damage she added to me.)
Some days are better than others.
Some days I fight and find myself actually happy. I enjoy the moments that life gives me…I enjoy the people I love. I enjoy the moments where I do something and it feels like I am doing it right.
The problem is those moments are not as often as I need them to be.
The other problem is I don’t have the people I need to share those moments with.
I have friends. I have family. I just don’t want to bother them. So I am lonely. In the fishbowl of the internet.
Today…
Perhaps I am a little more willing to show the vulnerability, and say that having mental health issues sucks.
Lyrics
[Intro]
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
Feelin’ like a psychofreak-freak-freak
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
[Chorus]
Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes
Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi
Tell me that you love me, are you lying?
Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes
House in the hills is a house of cards
Blink and the fairytale falls apart
Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark
Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is hard
[Verse 1]
Sometimes, I don’t trust the way I feel
On my Instagram talkin’ ’bout “I’m healed”
Worryin’ if I got sex appeal
Hopin’ that I don’t drive off this hill
When we’re makin’ lovе, I wanna be there
And I wanna feel you pullin’ my hair
And bеlieve the words you say in my ear
Gotta go outside, I need some air
[Pre-Chorus]
I want to, want to, want to touch you
Want to touch you, but my fingertips are numb
I want to, want to, want to love you
Want to love you, but my chest is tightenin’ up
I want to, want to, want to feel like I can chill
Not have to leave this restaurant
Wish I could be like everyone
But I’m not like anyone
[Chorus]
Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes
Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi
Tell me that you love me, are you lying?
Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes
House in the hills is a house of cards
Blink and the fairytale falls apart
Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark
Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is hard
[Post-Chorus]
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
[Verse 2]
Sorry, couldn’t focus on the movie
Everybody says they miss the old me
I been on this ride since I was fifteen
I don’t blame the girls for how it went down, down
Thinkin’ out loud
In the bathroom while my friends laugh on the couch
Wow, moment’s gone now
Know you wanna stay, but I think I gotta leave right now
[Pre-Chorus]
I want to, want to, want to touch you
Want to touch you, but my fingertips are numb
I want to, want to, want to love you
Want to love you, but my chest is tightenin’ up
I want to, want to, want to feel like I can chill
Not have to leave this restaurant
Wish I could be like everyone (Wish I could be)
But I’m not like anyone
[Chorus]
Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes
Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi
Tell me that you love me, are you lying?
Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes
House in the hills is a house of cards
Blink and the fairytale falls apart
Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark
Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is-
[Post-Chorus]
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Feelin’ like a psychofreak
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
My 2 Cents –
There is a lot of days where I feel alone, and like no one understands me. This song makes me feel less so…
The above image I found on Pinterest. I included the link to where it goes… but I used it as my muse. I drew what I saw… and this is what I came up with.
It is an adorable picture.
Is my art exactly the same? No. And I don’t want it to be. I think that I do pretty good with the drawing from an image without tracing it.
With each of the last few volumes I have been doing a theme… unintentionally but I have been doing it nonetheless. So, I have been struggling with this one and I think that I finally figured out why.
I have been trying to focus on the home aspect of the title… and the poetry is acceptable… but it has been harder to write because I don’t really know what home is. It changes as I do. And I can be mercurial in who I am on occasion.
I think that I need to instead look at the journey. And write about that. It might help me find the rest of the words to fill in the book. If I can get it done in time I will try for an August publishing date.
So you found a new book?
Or maybe you just published one?
Did you find a new webcomic that you like?
Or a song you think everyone should hear?
No need for explanation…Just Share it.
You find a good deal that you think we should all see? Just share!
Or hey even a joke you think too fun not to share, Just share it.
Post links in the comments.
Occasionally I will too.
Something I call meditation Art… basically I draw circles and lines and swirls in what ever way I feel like at the time… until I feel like I am done. It’s relaxing.
Well I promised I would try to share more of the art and poetry this month even though I was not able to do a daily post… so here’s a happy Gnomey…
Ever think that you were caught up, and then realized that you had forgotten about something important? That was me this past week. I have done all the work for July and publishing… and I thought I had done June as well… only to find out that I had forgotten about June.
Though I was frustrated and feeling like I was a screw up… it was not the end of the world. It was not even a truly terrible thing. It was just a little bit of a frustration. I got it fixed (though my own poetry volume in June immortality is only in ebook form until the 20th.) A minor oops. Still at the time…it felt like I was just incapable of doing anything right.
And it is not an uncommon thing for such situations to cause a lot of people to feel like they can’t do anything right. The internal voice is often so mean.
Don’t let that voice make you feel like you are anything less than amazing. I’m fighting with my own.
