So, I was going to ask what I should do for the next volume… but I finished Immortality before I could get to today. Facebook suggested that I do Quiet screams next.
I actually want to ask a question. I had a live poetry reading thing in my local library. And I was extra nervous because of the parking situation with the library. It requires parallel parking. I can not parallel park. So my therapist suggested that I ask a complete stranger to do it for me. Is that normal? I feel like that is not normal and would create more anxiety. What do you think? Is asking for a complete stranger to park your only vehicle a normal thing?
Welcome to where time stands still No one leaves and no one will Moon is full, never seems to change Just labelled mentally deranged Dream the same thing every night I see our freedom in my sight No locked doors, no windows barred No things to make my brain seem scarred Sleep my friend, and you will see The dream is my reality They keep me locked up in this cage Can’t they see it’s why my brain says rage? Sanitarium Leave me be Sanitarium Just leave me alone Build my fear of what’s out there Cannot breathe the open air Whisper things into my brain Assuring me that I’m insane They think our heads are in their hands But violent use brings violent plans Keep him tied, it makes him well He’s getting better, can’t you tell? No more can they keep us in Listen, damn it, we will win They see it right, they see it well But they think this saves us from our hell Sanitarium Leave me be Sanitarium Just leave me alone Sanitarium (Just leave me alone) Fear of living on Natives getting restless now Mutiny in the air Got some death to do Mirror stares back hard Kill, it’s such a friendly word Seems the only way For reaching out again
My 2 Cents –
Feeling a little extra crazy these days, so I felt like a visit to the sanitarium was appropriate. an old favorite, and one that helps to calm the demons when they get a little too restless.
So I wanna talk about my favorite Poets…since it is National Poetry Month.
I have always been fond of Edgar Allan Poe. His work speaks to the Goth heart in me. His story 0f not making it during his lifetime also hits notes of poetic tragedy and genuine goth nature…(I know I am weird.)
Another I have always loved was Emily Dickenson. Her work is almost opposite in a lot of ways to Poe. Flowery and light. Almost as though she were making the words themselves her lover.
In my teen years I discovered Irene Hunt’s Up a Road Slowly. It introduced me to two new poets. Sara Teasdale and Edna St. Vincent Millay. I was enamored by the idea that poetry could be just randomly inserted into books. I did not realize that would not generally happen anyway.
In more recent years thanks to YouTube, I have discovered Blythe Baird and Rachel Wiley. I adore their poems.
So, many of you know that I run a small press. Fae Corps Publishing.
We have a busy schedule for the next few months.
March 31 – The Key of the Storm by DW Storer
April 7 – Internal Battlefields by Patricia Harris (My poetry volume)
April 14 – Valley of Thoughts by NK Xero
April 21 – State of Mind by Jennifer Elliott
May 7 – Keko and the Lost Bananas by CM Snow
May 15 – Faery Flying anthology release
May 22 – Toe Rag by Ruan Bradford Wright
May 26 – The Riverside Chronicles by Raz T Slasher
June 1 – Life Lost, Love Gained by Ashira Dayta
June 15 – Blue Ted’s Easter Adventure by DW Storer
There will be more… but that is what I have scheduled for now. We have another anthology call scheduled for this year. The deadline is August.(I will be posting it on the fae corps blog in June.)
I am hoping to be able to do another volume of Poetry at the end of June… but I don’t want to promise it until I get it done.
But in an adult way. We all learn as time passes and we do things. I have released quite a few books. The first ones are not going to be as pretty as the most recent ones. I am wanting to go through and clean up the prior books… and I might…but I was given some good advice from a friend and fellow writer. She said that if we were to do that every time we found an error in the way that we did things in previous years, we would not have any time to do new things.
Time always seems infinite.
It really rarely is. There’s always going to be something else that is going to want you to donate that precious time to it. And that means you have to learn how to accept that you are learning and adapting as you move forward.
What lessons have you been struggling with lately?
Watch the torch set aflame Watch it burn, watch it fade Watch the armies gather suit Someone’s gotta win and lose They say my heart is almost black Well baby, who’s to blame for that? (Ah, ah, ah) Who’s to blame for-
Count your blessings, count your minutes Played my game, hell, now you’re in it Bittersweet, my renegade And I’m anything but tame Grab your sword, you might just need it ‘Cause I’m not afraid of cheatin’ Oh, I hate to tell you this way But villains aren’t born Darlin’, they’re made
Scream my name when they run Honestly, it’s kinda fun Scream it louder when they fall I’m never satisfied at all They take, they take until you give You taught me well, now watch me win Now watch me win
Count your blessings, count your minutes Played my game, hell, now you’re in it Bittersweet, my renegade And I’m anything but tame Grab your sword, you might just need it ‘Cause I’m not afraid of cheatin’ Oh, I hate to tell you this way
I aim before I kill Live only for the thrill It’s bad, I know, but still There’s nothing left to lose Don’t tell me it’s not fair Believe me, I’ve been there I’d much rather be alone If I’m sitting on a- Sitting on a- Sitting on a throne
Count your blessings, count your minutes (oh) Played my game, hell, now you’re in it (oh) Bittersweet, my renegade And I’m anything but tame Grab your sword, you might just need it ‘Cause I’m not afraid of cheatin’ Oh, I hate to tell you this way Villains aren’t born Darlin’, we’re made
My 2 Cents –
So, I survived the birthday. And on midnight of my birthday this song came across my fyp on TikTok. It got me wondering. A villain era does not have to be me doing anything bad… Ursula is considered a Villain…all that she does is expect Ariel to follow a contract. Maybe I should have a villain era. Self care will seem villainous to all of the people who expect me to be at their beck and call…
Decided, after getting irritated at a friend…to organize my files a bit. and I realized. some of my volumes have more shared than others…some have none shared. so I think I will in April do alternating posts. One of other poets poetry. and one of mine. There will be daily posts in April. There will not be my usual posts in April. That is all.
I hate the world today You’re so good to me I know but I can’t change Tried to tell you But you look at me like maybe I’m an angel underneath Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried You must have been relieved To see the softer side I can understand how you’d be so confused I don’t envy you I’m a little bit of everything All rolled into one
I’m a bitch I’m a lover I’m a child I’m a mother I’m a sinner I’m a saint And I do not feel ashamed I’m your hell I’m your dream I’m nothing in between You know you wouldn’t want it any other way
So take me as I am This may mean you’ll have to be a stronger man Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous And I’m going to extremes Tomorrow I will change And today won’t mean a thing
I’m a bitch I’m a lover I’m a child I’m a mother I’m a sinner I’m a saint And I do not feel ashamed I’m your hell I’m your dream I’m nothing in between You know you wouldn’t want it any other way
Just when you think you’ve got me figured out The season’s already changin’ I think it’s cool you do what you do And don’t try to save me
I’m a bitch I’m a lover I’m a child I’m a mother I’m a sinner I’m a saint And I do not feel ashamed I’m your hell I’m your dream I’m nothing in between You know you wouldn’t want it any other way
I’m a bitch I’m a tease I’m a goddess on my knees When you hurt When you suffer I’m your angel undercover I’ve been numb I’m revived Can’t say I’m not alive You know I wouldn’t want it any other way
My 2 Cents –
I am struggling with a migraine. It is a day before my 48th birthday. I want to be brave enough to have this kind of ballsy attitude…but most of the time…
Wednesday will likely not be a thing this week… I will try.
Theories, I know you got your theories I know you got this feeling Everyone’s out to get you (To get you) Faceless, enemies always faceless Somehow, you’re always blameless But that don’t make you bulletproof (Bulletproof)
You hear whispers when we’re just talkin’ See pointin’ fingers When we touch, yeah, when we touch You hear footsteps when no one’s comin’ But you keep runnin’, there’s no use runnin’
You know you’re your own assassin You don’t need no help with that It’s your back that you been stabbin’ When you gonna understand? You know you’re your own assassin You don’t need no help with that You know you’re your own assassin You know you’re your own assassin
When did, when did you start pretendin’? You don’t know why it ended You think the fault is all mine (Is all mine) Mirror, you never checked the mirror Or you woulda seen the killer Starin’ right back with your eyes (With your eyes)
You hear whispers when we’re just talkin’ See pointin’ fingers When we touch, yeah, when we touch You hear footsteps when no one’s comin’ But you keep runnin’ there’s no use runnin’
You know you’re your own assassin You don’t need no help with that It’s your back that you been stabbin’ When you gonna understand? You know you’re your own assassin You don’t need no help with that You know you’re your own assassin You know you’re your own assassin
You know you’re your own assassin (Assassin, assassin, assassin) You know you’re your own assassin (Assassin, assassin) You know you’re your own assassin (Assassin, assassin, assassin) You know you’re your own assassin You know you’re your own assassin
Ah, ah, ah, ah
You know you’re your own assassin You don’t need no help with that It’s your back that you been stabbin’ When you gonna understand? You know you’re your own assassin You don’t need no help with that You know you’re your own assassin You know you’re your own assassin
My 2 Cents –
Self sabotage… lately and the closer to my birthday it gets… the more I feel like I am fighting with this. I know that I am not the only one that struggles with this problem.
It’s Sunday when I am doing the blog posts… and I find myself struggling to find a topic for the week. This week has been longer than usual for me… and we are going to be heading into a rough area of the year.
Why is that you might ask? Because of my birthday. It is the 13th of March. I struggle with my own birthday. The reason is that I honestly never expected to make it to 30… and I am going to be 48. I don’t know what to do with myself.
So I don’t know if I will be able to get the blog up for the week surrounding the 13th. I am already stressed out and struggling with my mental health.
I plan on trying to get it done… but I want to warn you that I am struggling with this one. That way if I don’t manage it no one is surprised. Yes, I do realize that I have a week before then… but I’m also starting to feel the quicksand of the birthday blues. So I am going to state the issue now and hope that I can overcome it by then.
Pattimouse 