Category: struggle

Migraine and stress fairies

*Found on Google with Pinterest listed as source*

I want to apologize. I don’t feel like I have to, that is another reason why I am grateful. I was supposed to post a blog tour post for a friend yesterday, which I will post shortly. I was supposed to do a Thursday post… And I just could not. I have been fighting a stress migraine since Tuesday.

My life is a routine, built on Chaos. Still I don’t handle change well. The pandemic has stores and offices closing. I homeschool, so I was already a homebody… But when I go to the store and can’t even find a loaf of bread… And then I am forced to explain to my teenage girl that the pandemic is not likely to kill her. Especially if we are careful with hygiene. Still, she is asthmatic. And she keeps hearing about asthmatic people being in higher danger.

Add all of this to normal anxiety and stress… Insomnia is back. Insomnia brings the migraines. It is not a sane time for anyone… So I have been dealing with it. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do?

Today is the start of Ostara. The beginning of spring. That also means the start of allergy time. It is a busy time for me. Usually we are able to clean up the yard (because somehow we end up doing the reconstruction inside during the winter and the trash builds up in the yard). We normally do the preparing for the garden. The plan for what canning we want to do during the summer.

This year not as much of this. We will be doing clean up. County clean up is free. It allows us to dispose of the trash. But I am not sure that we have the energy for a garden this year. I think that the canning is going to be something more like chili and the like. Maybe we will can some homemade baked beans. I don’t know.

I would have posted regardless of the migraines… I often do… However it was severe enough for the phone to be more than I could tolerate. I have a variation in my light sensitivity. This last one I was hiding in a dark room under a blanket and it was still too damn bright. Eyes closed and there was still too much light.

This is a rough time for everyone. So much unsurity, insecurity in economics. This year has been a lot of fear of what the future holds. Definitely not alone here. So I know how much y’all understand. I appreciate you.

So I guess that this post, other than an explanation for yesterday is a basic I am here and I see you kind of thing. If you need someone to talk to… Reach out to me… I want to hear you.

My Recommendations for Educational YouTube channels

This is in no true order. They are straight from my subscription list.

There is definitely channels that I am unaware of. And I have far more than this… But I was limiting the choices to more learning based channels. If you want to add…. Comment them so others have access.

Tired Tuesday

I am an Introvert. I am slightly agoraphobic. I really only go outside to get supplies or to go to the doctors. So, I don’t understand most of the time, why people avoid being home. (Note that when I say outside…I consider outside to be beyond my fenced in yard.)

I don’t watch the news…for my own mental health…people tend to hurt other people in the news. My soul is bruised by just reading about it. So I avoid the headlines. My main source of information tends to be seeing something on social media and then following my own curiosity to find the truth.

I have been trying to avoid the panic that is going along with the COVID-19 pandemic. I have been trying to publicly share educational activities on my Facebook page. Mostly because I realize that many people are facing children who are bored and have no idea how to deal with that.

We as a society have become dependent on being told what to do, and have been trained that school is for keeping our children busy. Life doesn’t always work that way…but we have become comfortable with it.

Now this was not a post to complain about societal issues. It came about because in a time of panic…I found that for Tuesday tunes I was unable to pick a song to offer hope…The only songs I could think of were apocalyptic. That is not good for me or you. So instead I will just say I am tired. I am tired of panic. I am tired of worry. I am tired of feeling helpless. Something that I am willing to bet many others feel. So…I am instead offering resources.(Copied from posts yesterday.) And I am asking if you would help me. let us gather together ideas to assist bored children to learn and families who are suffering to find assistance. State the country if it is not USA or international please.

I’m starting with graphics I found. Some of the sites are duplicated, but it provides a good variety.

Now some links…. These are for stuff to do with children still.

The next links are for assistance.

Okay. That is the resources that I have (Mostly). I may be posting a list to Facebook later of Educational Youtube channels. or I might post it here…not sure. Regardless…let us add to this list. Gather together and support those who are struggling with the lack of humanity today. understand that not all of us can handle being in our own space. And be safe!!!

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you I’m not a perfect person
I never…

My 2 cents So I end up associating people with songs…used to be only lovers, until this song. There was a young man …I truly thought of him as a little brother. He was about the same age as my little brother. I met him because he hung out with Joe’s kid brother. He was dating a friend of mine when this song came out. I have always had a huge music collection…multiple cd’s /cassettes back before mp3’s were a thing…and now gigabytes of mp3’s. I love music variety. However back then…I had never listened to the same song on repeat…I just had so many that I could put it on Auto Dj and not hear the same song twice in a day…even in a week if I am honest. Well Jeremy…The little brother like fellow…He would get on my computer and blast this song on repeat…we must have heard it a thousand times if we heard it once.

I am sharing this for a reason…he died, very young. He was 28. I find I am missing him lately often. He was all about his games, and we have all (my gaming group) been missing his enthusiasm. So Duesy…You are the reason I can’t hear this song with out cryin.

Poetry delayed

I have been feeling poorly all weekend..and I just am unable to think clearly enough to figure out what to post. I am hoping that the brain fog lifts by tomorrow. Though do keep an eye here as I will be sharing my latest on coffee house writers later.

Thursday Tea Party

Hello lovelies! I am enjoying a rare morning treat. Hot apple Cider topped with a wee bit of Irish butter and honey. What do you enjoy as a morning treat?

Quite a bit has been happening over here…I indulged and spent the money to get me a decent laptop, It’s an Acer Aspire 3. I am still trying to get the settings the way I want. I have been without a proper computer for many years. I will want to upgrade the memory, as it is too slow for a couple of the games I want. I will also have to get a few accessories to make it do everything I want to do…but it has already been a boon to my writing.

Understand…I get into a slump every year, usually between thanksgiving and my birthday. This year was especially bad, I went from writing a daily poem and some other word count in whatever other story I was working on to managing nothing more than my blog for the whole of February. To be honest that became problematic with a biweekly poetry post going out. I was starting to feel concerned about the lack of inspiration/motivation.

Don’t get me wrong…it isn’t exactly writer’s block…I have more ideas than I will ever be able to write…it is more of exhaustion. I usually am sick during the winter months, and when I am not I am cold and irritable. So I end up not wanting to do anything.

Well, yesterday while I was setting the new laptop up…I ended up writing. It was only a poem and about 750 words in Serena’s Kingdoms of Sin. Yes…my slump time was nearly over anyway…but it is nice to be writing again. There are so many new things in the works. Plans for future anthologies, plans for future books… but if I am not writing those plans go limp. No one likes their plans to go limp…..

So, I name my computers. It has been a habit for me..This laptop is Athena. I am hoping that she will be my companion in gaming and creativity. Do you name your computer? If so what name does yours have? I look forward to the adventures in writing, gaming, and creativity I will be exploring.

Now, If you will excuse me, Today is my boyfriend’s birthday. He and I have been together 24 years in may….he has been my muse and my nemesis depending upon the day…but he is always my rock. So today is his. (I snuck this post in while he was killing zombies in 7 days to die. ) Hope it is a good day for you as well.

Announced fun!

I finally broke down and ordered me a laptop. While, yes, I do have a computer.. It’s old and slow. It does not really have the ability to do anything more than the basics of layout… And it is stationary. That is such a deficit for me. I am not good for sitting in the same place day in and day out. I am considering the laptop as my birthday present to myself. (My birthday is March 13. Presents are so much fun!) I ordered an Acer Aspire 3. I am hoping to be able to do art, writing, gaming and a wee bit of zombie killing (7 days to die).

Thursday twist

Ok. I did not sleep last night … So I am exhausted. It means that I don’t have the where with all to do a tea party. It also means that I am sitting here falling asleep. Coffee is hopefully going to keep me upright until I can go to bed. Thank you for your patience.

Whelp… It’s Wednesday

I was going to do a wordless Wednesday… Then my art app crashed taking the picture with it. I don’t have a web discovery/ webcomic post written because I was not expecting to do it this week… And I am flabbergasted.

So, I ask you… What does Wednesday mean for you? Do you have a routine? Is it just marking the middle of the work week? Also, what do you do when things go sideways?

Tuesday Tunes

Plumb – Damaged

Lyrics – Dreaming comes so easily
Cause it’s all that I’ve known
True love is a fairy tale
I’m damaged, so how would I know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed, and I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I’m damaged, as I’m sure you know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed and I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

There’s mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can’t go back

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, oh, I feel you near me

Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
I can’t go back
I can’t go back
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on

My 2 cents – I think that music that resonates most is often music that we see ourselves in. I, thusly, tend towards the music of survival and broken hearts. This song has always resonated. It truly speaks to the broken heart.