Category: struggle

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

I don’t know what you had in mind
But here we stand on opposing sides

Let’s go to war
Let’s go to war

We arm ourselves with the wrongs we’ve done
Name them off one by one

Let’s go to war
Let’s go to war

Everything you say
Everything you do
You push it in
And you cut me down
And you cut me down

War, war, war

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe

Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?

Hush my baby; make no sound
Maybe we can wait each other out
It’s a cold war
Let’s go to war

With every settled score
I thought that fighting with meant fighting for
But you turn it around
But you turn it around

War, war, war

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe
Screaming at the ones we love

Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe

Do we feel safe?
Do we feels safe?
Do we feel safe?

Do we censor or do we flow?
Are we drunk on the chemicals?
Every feeling in my bones tells me to lash out
And tell you to fuck off

You’ve got my heart
And I’ve got your soul
But are we better off alone?

With every battle we lose a little more
Remember everything that we’d die for
You are everything that I’d die for

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds that we feel safe

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe

Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?

My 2 Cents – I thought I should talk about the title for my current volume. Internal Battlefields. I feel like all mental health is an internal war. we fight a battle every day against our own minds. This song feels like the anthem for this volume. So, LET’S GO TO WAR!

Monday Poetry

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

Strike first
Make it hurt
When everyone assumes the worst
I never have to say I’m sorry
Spiteful
Ruinous
I’m all things you feared I was
Another villain in your story
You think that I’m a spitfire?
You should
Afraid you’re on my bad side?
That’s good
If I wanted to end you
I could
I could
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Cold rage
Hides the shame
Of images I can’t escape
Scars that live under the surface
It’s strange
What I became
When part of me was ripped away
And replaced with something worthless
You think that I’m a spitfire?
You should
Afraid you’re on my bad side?
That’s good
If I wanted to end you
I could
I could
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Take what’s left
Of my fractured heart
Bloodstained ’cause
The pieces are so sharp
Take what’s left
Of my fractured heart
Bloodstained ’cause
The pieces are so sharp
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Never forget
I didn’t ask for this

My 2 Cents – this time of year is so freaking hard. No one asks for the mental health issues. No one asks for trauma. No one asks for the feeling like they are just unlovable…yet…so many people feel like they are. It costs you nothing to be kind, to be patient.

Monday Poetry

These are the first two poems written in 2023 and I was struggling to find the topics. I am pleased with the way that they turned out, and releaved that I am able to share it with you.

Updates, and ideas

Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

So I asked a bit ago for ideas to improve my blog. I had someone choose to send their ideas privately,(Which I am fine with by the way), and I felt the ideas to be brilliant. I have tried to put as many in place as I could. I do not know if I have put them in play completely yet…I am still working on a few of them. It will likely be a work in progress for the next little bit. I am working on getting a routine in place. I want 2023 to be a year where I am organized and have an easier time keeping up with my writing and art. I want the blog to flow without hesitation…I know I don’t work that way…but I am always gonna try.

Those who have followed me for a while know I usually pick a word for each new year. One to be an example for what my goals/plan for the year will be. I think that I will be using a phrase for 2023. My phrase will be “Forward Movement”. The thought is even a baby step is forward movement. I spend too much time beating myself up for stuff that I don’t manage to get done. Things that fall through the cracks. This year I want to focus on the joy of life. The celebration of the things that I do get done. So, I am setting myself up for success.

Time to renew

In November I was able to schedule the blog ahead. However, I was not able to do the normal weekly posts. Not with the daily poetry posts. I enjoyed the poetry posts though, did you? Still, now I am sitting here about to get the week ahead scheduled and I find that I am feeling like I am at a refresh moment. A save spot in a game if you will. It makes me wonder if I should make changes to the themes of my day to day posts. Definitely thinking about if I want to do anything else for the new year.

I would love feedback from the reader of my blog. What would you like to see me talking about in the future? What is not working? I don’t guarantee that I am going to implement the suggestions, but I am going to at least consider them all. I am currently thinking about adding a few things maybe taking a couple of things out. I never do that new year new me thing, but I do have a policy for a yearly word. My word for 2023 is actually a pair. “Forward Progress” I am trying to find a way to improve me, my work, and my life. I spent much of this last year struggling and in a rut. I want to avoid this in the upcoming year.

So, in the interest of Forward Progress, I will ask. What is your opinion on this blog? What should I continue? What is probably better left behind in 2022? What would be a good addition to the blog in the future?

Holiday, cold, and busy days

So I know that I have been awol for a couple of days. That is because of the above picture. My porch has been needing replaced for a few months…due to safety issues. We have been trying to get everyone together to get it done and the weather to cooperate. Yesterday and today has been a good shot… but I don’t do well with being out in the cold and working. so I have been unable to get the blog together. I have gotten the poem a day done but haven’t been able to get the image to the blog. I am so very thankful for my friends. Hopefully my porch will be done today. The holiday is likely to interrupt the posting. So I am planning on returning to this on Monday after the holiday. So I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving.

Thought, thoughtcicles, and release

So, I have been thinking about when I should release thoughtcicles. Handprints on my soul releases on the 18th. Then the first week of December is Kid’s week. Fae Corps is releasing 2 of my kids books and 3 from other authors. That means that I have been busy with getting them together. I always do a vacation from the publishing from the end of kid’s week until after the first of the year. Three weeks. I could do it during the break…but I feel like I am just asking for burn out if I don’t take the break. I really didn’t expect to finish the volume so quickly. I think that I will schedule it for the end of January so I don’t have to go without the break.

Next year is already looking like a busy year. We are publishing a book by Ruan Bradford Wright. Probably another by Raz T Slasher. I am hoping that we will see the next one from Ashira Datya. Maybe book two from Andrew McDowell? We will have to see. I know that there will be a book from DW Storer. Add in my poetry volumes and I see it as a busy year. The anthologies are also a thing. The blog for Fae Corps Publishing will have more exact details as we have them. Currently I am in charge of the blog there as well.

So, I think that I would be best to remember that I am not supergirl and pace myself. January is soon enough for the release of Thoughtcicles.

Pad Day 4 and rambles

Today’s Prompt was a fill in the blank. “In the (Blank)”. Those that are my facebook friends have seen me trying to do to-do lists the last few days. They are never long…usually four or five items…but it wears me out. So I am fighting exhaustion and trying to celebrate my wins.

The laundry is caught up.

Dishes are nearly there.

Bathrooms are clean. (Well the two that I can get to)

The laundry room is clean.

All the clothes are folded…not put away yet, but folded.

My bedroom is halfway there.

Joe’s room is clean.

I have finished Layout on all but one of the Kid’s books for kid’s week(The final one is waiting on the illustrator. He had a cord malfunction and couldn’t send in the art yet. Poor guy)

I have started getting preorders set up for the kid’s week books. *Links will be in a post on the Fae Corps blog when I finish the getting of the preorder links….

I have written a poem a day for everyday in November so far and got a little bit of a word count in Sea Wytch.

I did my grocery shopping for November. And came in under budget.

I have started my christmas shopping.

I made it to therapy.

I have remembered my medicine over half of the time…(I set another set of reminders on my phone…seriously the only reason I remember to eat half of the time is the dizzy feeling I get when I forget.)

I have stayed Hydrated…

See I am killing this…even if there are days when my body says I am killing me. I created a to-do list for self care. So far it has morning and night meds, and art…(Therapist said art was self care!)

What did you do today? Let us celebrate the win together.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

Was working on formatting a children’s book about mermaids and it made me want to do art…