4 books in November (One from Ashira Datya, One from NK Xero that I am still waiting on the cover and Manuscript for, One of Mine, and One of Serena’s that the link is coming soon for)
Then our Kids week has currently 3 books tentatively planned. One by me, one by Raz T. Slasher, and a third by CM Snow.
And Next year’s schedule is already filling up. January has 2. March already has one. And May has one. There are vague others that have placeholders but no defined date yet. I try to limit my calendar to four per month because sometimes even that is more than I can do.
I feel like I want to do more than I am capable of.
And I still have to squeeze my own writing and life in on the schedule too.
This year has been busier than I am used to. It wears on a person.
Yeah she’s my favorite Batman villain. But is she really a villain? or more of an anti-hero?
It really depends much on point of view. The problem is always POV.
For Harley. She is the Main character.
For Bruce Wayne, He is.
And realistically the same is true in any story. If you pick up a book and look at it from another character’s view…that character is not going to see themselves as a secondary character. Would you? If say you were in the DC Universe and hanging around the Daily Planet…would you see yourself as a extra in the story? No! So, from your POV you are the main character.
Harley would not see herself as a villain…
She is crazy, but not entirely without a idea of right and wrong. I believe she would see herself more as an antihero or as someone with a really nasty case of bad luck.
Which opens up so many options for the character in storylines.
I think sometimes just understanding the POV helps us to understand and perhaps flesh out the characters we write better. I think it also helps us empathize better with fictional characters on a different level as well.
There’s a war inside my head Sometimes I wish that I was dead, I’m broken So I call this therapist And she said girl you can’t be fixed just take this
I’m tired of tryin’ to be normal I’m always overthinking I’m driving myself crazy So what if I’m fucking crazy
And I don’t need your quick fix I don’t want your prescriptions Just ’cause you say I’m crazy So what if I’m fucking crazy Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath Yeah, I’m gonna show you I’m gonna show you Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane Yeah, I’m gonna show you I’m gonna show you Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’ve been searching city streets Trying to find the missing piece like you said And I searched hard only to find There’s not a single thing that’s wrong with my mind
Yeah, I’m tired of tryin’ to be normal I’m always over thinking I’m driving myself crazy So what if I’m fucking crazy
And I don’t need your quick fix I don’t want your prescriptions Just ’cause you say I’m crazy So what if I’m fucking crazy I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath Yeah, I’m gonna show you I’m gonna show you Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane Yeah, I’m gonna show you I’m gonna show you I’m gonna show you
Crazy, crazy Yeah, I’m gonna show you Crazy, crazy Yeah I’m gonna show you Crazy, crazy yeah
I’m tired of trying to be normal I’m driving myself crazy
And I don’t need your quick fix I don’t want your prescriptions Just ’cause you say I’m crazy So what if I’m fucking crazy Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath Yeah, I’m gonna show you I’m gonna show you Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane Yeah, I’m gonna show you I’m gonna show you Yeah, I’m gonna show you
My 2 Cents –
For me today is Sunday. I always schedule the blog when I can on Sunday. Yesterday Arleen Sorkin passed away. Now I doubt that name will mean much to some of you. She was an amazing voice actor. One of the many that brought my favorite Batman villain to life. The first to do so. This song always makes me think of Harley Quinn. So, I am posting it with the wish that whatever her afterlife is be blessed.
Perhaps it is time to step back and look at things from a different point of view.
Boyfriend sneered that he was the only one to do anything productive today.
From his point of view I am sure that is true. After all…He does not read. Everything I did today was to further the amount of books in the world. Either that or scheduling the week here on my blog.
Neither thing is exactly physical for him.
Publishing does not make me a huge paycheck.
What it does do is make me feel better about the world.
The world without books is a very dark place. So many wonderful books end up not getting a chance because the author does not know how to be heard. I am trying to help those authors.
However I suppose if you do not like books then it looks like I am locking myself in my room every Sunday. I am being antisocial and just playing on my computer.
Doing stuff that he does not understand and is not a part of.
While he made up homemade chicken nuggets. (He really is a wonderful cook.)
Usually I at least keep him company while he cooks. Still, He does know that Sunday is my day that I have set aside to do blog, and book stuff. I fight to keep it that way. If I don’t then I would never have anytime allowed. He would expect me to be available all the time. Which is not fair. To me, or to what I want to get done.
So I am mad. I am frustrated. And I feel like I should do more work because I am mad. (I was supposed to join the family game when I got my work done. But now I don’t think it is such a good idea.) However if I do too much at once I court burn out. And I risk mistakes because I am working mad.
So I am sitting here bored. Because spite is a thing too. I did more work than I had slated for today. My arm hurts. I am exhausted. And I just wish I had a way to explain to him that my work is productive too.
Here lately I have been getting spurts of inspiration… and urges to write or create. It always makes me feel like I’m feverish.
I can remember when I wrote when the muse struck me and the idea of using prompts seemed like cheating. Now, the prompts are more like a spring board. I am often less worried about the prompt than I am what I want to say.
I end up feeling like the prompts don’t fit with the idea of the volume I have been working on and I pass them by. I get a vision of what I want the book to look like and then I just don’t want it to be anything less.
Now that leads me down rabbit holes looking for just the right prompt, just the right idea to be just the right poem. Perhaps perfectionism is a true problem…
I have noticed that the last few weeks weeks I have been doing a lot of talking about writing on my Wednesday posts.
I considered changing the post to Write Wednesday. Then I realized it is one of my favorite hyperfixations.
For the unaware – hyperfixations is a neurodivergent thing. It is a term for an interest that takes all of your attention. This can be a food, a song, an activity…etc. If you are not careful it can be a bad thing.
Imagine craving a sandwich and fixating on the idea. You find that nothing else has any flavor for you. You suddenly have no interest in eating anything else.
If you are lucky you can get the current hyperfixation and work with your brain and the quirks of the neurodivergency that is your particular flavor.
Welcome to the city of lies Where everything’s got a price It’s gonna be in your favorite place You can be a movie star And get everything you want Just put some plastic on your face This place is a circus, you just see the surface They cover shit under the rug You can’t see they’re faking, they’ll never be naked Just fill your drink with tonic gin, this is the American dream, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know Keep drinking and acting cool Don’t care if your day is blue Nobody loves a gloomy face, just Take your pills and dance all night Don’t think at all, that’s the advice So c’mon, let’s try, it’s just a taste This place is a circus, you just see the surface They cover shit under the rug You can’t see they’re faking, they’ll never be naked Just fill your drink with tonic gin, this is the American dream, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know So sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know
My 2 Cents –
Gossip is a drug to some. A festering need. It is never truth. It doesn’t fulfill any actual place in society. If you hear anything about me – ask me. I will always tell you what the truth is… you might be surprised at the little amount of truth gossip holds.
I have been doing the publishing stuff since 2010. For my own personal stuff, then I started with Fae Corps in 2019.
I struggle with depression, PTSD, Migraines, and a whole bunch of other health issues. Which is why I don’t do more than I do. Fae Corps does limited books because I don’t have the ability to do anything more.
I use several platforms to publish the books, with a few routines to make the work easier for me to accomplish. And I always leave plenty of time on the deadline so I don’t ever get pressured for time. Hence why we are starting to take the children’s book submissions for the kids week books now.
One of the places that I have used for publishing is draft2digital.com and I will continue to for the ebooks. Their print option however is awful. I stopped using them when we were getting reports of the cover for the books being delivered cockeyed.
Now I do the same place as they did separately. Better quality. The trick for their ebook set up is to prevent them from messing with the layout. So the only way to do that is to provide an epub file… which means I have learned how to make that.
That was in 2020 that I stopped using them for print. I really don’t know what I have been thinking. Someone pointed out that the print was wrong for Through the Sunshine… so I checked. I care about the quality of our books. So I will always check. Yes it is something that I can fix. Something that I should have already done.
Now, I am asking myself. Is the 17 books that I still have to port over a sign of laziness? Or that I have been doing too much? And should I even get upset with myself over the whole thing?
Honestly I think that I am just going to get it done and write it off as a learning experience. If I beat myself up over it, well it will just be longer for me to get it done.
The 17 books are a mix of the early Anthologies for Fae Corps Publishing and some of my poetry volumes. In order to get it fixed I will have to take it off sale on the one place and put it back up on the other two. So I am going to be doing this one book at a time. It should only have each book down for around a week in print only.
I will get each of them updated on their books2read.com links. I plan on posting on fae corps publishing as I have each book updated. This is a ridiculous amount of work and I am probably still going to be dealing with this well into the next year.
If I could build a fire and burn down my life That would be the one thing I got right ‘Cause I’m haunted by a shadow that I can’t escape See it in the mirror right behind my face I could build a fire and burn down my life Lately I could kill to be someone else I wanna ghost myself Try to stick it out but nothing helps I wanna ghost myself I’m a freak, I’m a liar Cut me out like a virus, oh I wanna ghost myself I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna ghost myself Think I’ll take my heart and throw it off a cliff Yeah I got a feeling that it won’t be missed Let my body and my mind disintegrate I don’t want you to see me this way Think I’ll take my heart and throw it off a cliff Lately I could kill to be someone else I wanna ghost myself Try to stick it out but nothing helps I wanna ghost myself I’m a freak, I’m a liar Cut me out like a virus, oh I wanna ghost myself If I could do it all over I’d do it right Cut loose all of the innocence If I could do it all over I’d do it right Kill the stereotype And start it all again Think I’ll take your heart and throw it off a cliff Lately I could kill to be someone else I wanna ghost myself Try to stick it out but nothing helps I wanna ghost myself I’m a freak, I’m a liar Cut me out like a virus, oh I wanna ghost myself I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna ghost myself
My 2 Cents –
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has regrets. Going back to redo your life…as good as it sounds… you can’t have the good you have without the bad you went through. But there are days. So, On those days… Let us Rock.
I Didn’t know what to talk about. In some ways it was better that way.
Recently, I sent a text to a friend.
He saw that text as an attack, and started to call me a liar. So I lashed out.
I apologized. Then I told him why I said what I did. I told him I felt like I was owed an apology as well. He said he was defending himself and would not apologize for it.
The problem is… I am seeing a six on the ground, and he is seeing a nine. Neither of us are wrong. He felt attacked. Though I was not attacking him, his feelings are valid. But in feeling attacked…He reacted. I then was hurt because he was attacking me…and I reacted. My apology was genuine. I honestly should not have said what I did. It was because he often calls me a liar – I don’t lie. He seems to think that because I am female it is a default…That I am going to always lie. I regret reacting…But I find myself questioning why I am putting myself in the position that this is even an issue.
I think I need new friends.
Because these make me cry. And I am damn tired of crying over people that don’t care.
Pattimouse 