New months mean a fresh start from the mess that was July.
This is going to be a busy month.
I have 2 book releases for Fae corps and the deadline for the Anthology Nightmare Whiskers.
It’s also the last month of summer. Which is the one that I want to get as much resin time in as I can.
My kid suggested that I should try to make a TikTok shop for the jewelry I make.
It’s something that I have to think about.
I am thinking that Thursday is going to be a rotation of random things from now on. I rather enjoy the idea of making the reading posts and the art posts but I don’t always have the ability to make such a post every week.
I found out (thanks to one of my authors there) that the covers are not appearing on the sites for the indie bookstores in Canada. So I am working to get that fixed.
I have several books in the manuscript stage. This is where I am dealing with Formatting, editing and making sure that all the details are right before I publish them. Which is tiring all on it’s own.
I got distracted by a new story. I was doing well writing the Sea Wytch…but I got invited to submit to an anthology Fractured Mind Publishing is Doing…and it is out of my normal genre. And I am scared to death of messing it up…but I am enjoying the writing. It is flowing, and I am trying to make it work.
If I get accepted it will be a February release. I will be sure to post more on here as it is known to me. (of course this is a Serena thing.)
I wrote another Bedtime tales book for release next year. (That is a Patricia thing..)
And the poetry has been happening.
With all of that plus the normal publishing stuff…and the housekeeping that I have to try to keep up with…I am exhausted.
34 felony counts and still allowed to be the republican nominee for president. He cannot even vote but he could be elected president?
40+ Anti trans bills – just in Missouri.
And that was just what filtered through social media.
There was more but I am trying to not bring others down to the level I am finding myself. I don’t like what humanity is becoming.
The urge to become the witch in the woods grows greater with each passing day.
So I have buried myself in books. Reading because I have been unable to write all week. Instead of Artsy fartsy thursday I think I will tell you about the three lovely books I have gotten to read recently.
I feel like I have been doing a lot of the I am overwhelmed posts for the Wednesday post. And I don’t want to do it for the third week.
So I decided that I will do a news drop instead.
Serena is writing again. The Sea Wytch is actually moving forward and I have hope that it will be done this year.
Fae corps publishing is in current negotiations with a narrator to be able to offer audio books.
We are also in negotiations for the possibility of offering another imprint under our team.
I am posting my poetry images on patreon. Any paid amount will allow you to see them. They will not be available anywhere else. I am trying to not post the same poem anywhere else as well. So unless you are a patron the only way to see those poems are to buy the books.
Not sure if I announced it here but I have a new intern for Fae corps who is running the fae corps publishing blog. They are taking a huge amount of work off my plate each week. That should help me with my overwhelmed life.
I have signed up for the half marathon on the poetry marathon. 12 poems in 12 hours. It’s June 15th.
I am sure there’s more news but I don’t know what else to say…. So I will try to remember it by next week.
So I know that I have been trying to get back to my usual for this week… and yes… I am scheduling it all on Sunday… but I got as far as Wednesday and I don’t know what to do with it.
I have so much going on, and I know that I can use it for telling you about it… but sometimes it’s not stuff that I know how to share.
This month especially is physically busy. It’s also busy with work. Okay let me explain.
Work is not usually physical for me. Work is writing, editing, and publishing. It can be incredibly mentally taxing. But I am often not up and moving around.
Part of the reason why is that I don’t have exactly good mobility. I will get unable to move if I do too much.
Well, in order for me to have an office…we have to clean out a storage room. Plus I have plans for the weekend to be at Milton Flea market with my resin art and jewelry. (Kiddo is doing yard sale stuff at the same time.) And the chickens are going to be getting a new coop from a old building in the yard – that also needed cleaned out to be useable.
So, I think that I am just overwhelmed and stressed out. Hopefully I can do a good post next week about the flea market.
When you feel that rage (When you feel that) When you feel that rage
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’ve been working towards the goal for most our lives Every challenge that we faced, we have survived Our confidence is growing everyday Finally it is our time to reign
Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart And now I know that this is just the start We will fight for everything we are RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) Rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory We will go down in history So come and play with that rage (that rage)
My 2 Cents –
too many people consider Rage as a variety of anger. Rage is so much more. and at the same time is. Rage is unconscious, uncontrollable, the first instinct when we get backed into a corner…. and yes it is anger, but it is also so much more.
I was once told that I should not be angry about the abuse that I suffered… I was told that I should forgive.
Anger is a safety mechanism. forgiving allows you to forget about the pain caused. It means letting go of righteous pain. that righteous pain built me into the person that I am. it made me empathetic, it made me kind, and it made me aware of the people that exist in this world who are going to hurt others.
I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze I’m not sure if I should say this, fuck, I’ll say it anyway Everybody tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase I don’t know if it’s a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah
I battle with depression, but the question still remains Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage? And my doctor tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase Yeah, it’s not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?
Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day And it’s probably ’cause my demons simultaneously rage It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular monster
I think I’m going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze Every wall that I knock down is just a wall that I replace I’m in a race against myself, I try to keep a steady pace How the fuck will I escape if I never close my case?
Oh my God, I keep on stressing, every second that I waste Is another second sooner to a blessing I won’t take But my therapist will tell me that I’m going through a stage Yeah, it’s not a fucking stage, I just wanna feel okay, okay
Motherfucker, now you got my attention I need to change a couple things ’cause something is missing And what if I were to lie? Tell you everything is fine Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified
I fell asleep at the wheel again Crashed my car just to feel again It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular fucking monster
Yeah, here we go again, motherfucker, oh We’re sick and tired of wondering Praying to a god that you don’t believe We’re searching for the truth in the lost and found So the question I ask is Oh, where the fuck is your god now?
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m not a popular, popular monster
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster
My 2 Cents –
There is something awful about this process. That loss of faith. In God, In community, In Self. And it is worse when you are being told that there is something wrong with you at the same time. There is not a damn thing wrong with being a monster. Be a monster, be yourself, Be Unique (10 points if you know where that is from)
Who will save you? The voices want to end me With words just like a blade Cutting pieces from me ‘Til nothing remains, ’til I go insane Eyes in the mirror that cannot be mine Beggin’ this stranger, “Get out of my mind” Fear overcomes me when I realize It’s only me I keep on screamin’, “Help!” I cannot breathe, someone save me from this hell Trapped in this fight, all I can find is myself Alone in my mind, demons come to life (who will save you?) And over time, demons come to life Masters of seduction And I like how they dance Feeding my addiction I play their game, another hit of pain Eyes in the mirror that cannot be mine Beggin’ this stranger, “Get out of my mind” Fear overcomes me when I realize It’s only me I keep on screaming, “Help!” I cannot breathe, someone save me from this hell Trapped in this fight, all I can find is myself Alone in my mind, demons come to life (who will save you?) And over time, demons come I’m not well, I wish I was happy The world can’t help, ’cause this storm’s inside me Still, I try, I’m tryin’ to change But there’s something broken, fucked up in my brain Partum my demons, there’s no reason Part of me wants to be stuck in this dream, and I can’t save me I can’t save me (Who will save you?) I can’t save me (Who will save you?) I can’t I keep on screaming, “Help!” (Who will save you?) I cannot breathe, someone save me from this hell (who will save you?) Trapped in this fight, all I can find is myself (who will save you?) Alone in my mind (in my mind), demons come to life (who will save you?) And over time, demons come to life Who will save me when demons come to life? (Who will save you?) Who will save me when demons come to life? (Who will save you?) Who will save me? (When demons come to life) When demons come to life I’m not well, I wish I was happy (wish I was happy) Demons come to life
My 2 Cents –
this is a hard time of year for my mental health. my birthday is the 13th and I am still trying to figure out how I managed to live this long.
Save me a place In the heart of your hearts When you think of love Never forsake me
Wanting and dreaming you Each time I think of you Lying naked beside me
Only a Lady of Dreams She will bring magic To sing to your heartstrings
Only a Lady of Dreams Come alive, you are all That I desire
Save me a place In the heart of your hearts When you think of dreams Never forsake me
Wanting and holding you Each time I come to you Lying naked beside you
Only a Lady of Dreams Could there be magic To sing to your heartstrings
Only a Lady of Dreams Come alive, you are all That I desire
Something tells me This is love that surrounds Only a fool Without wisdom can see Blind as I am In your eyes My Lady of Dreams
Blind as I am In your eyes My Lady of Dreams
Save me, save me A place in your heart Tears escape from me When we’re apart Please dream of me now My Lady of Dreams
My thoughts and wishes Are all the surrounds Mysteries hold you Then fly you away You know you are my life My Lady of Dreams
You know you are my life My Lady of Dreams
Save me a place In the heart of your heart When you think of love Never forsake me
Wanting and dreaming you Each time I think of you Lying so naked beside me
Only a Lady of Dreams Could there be magic To sing to your heartstrings
Only a Lady of Dreams Come alive, you are all That I desire
Something tells me This is love that surrounds Only a fool Without wisdom can see Blind as I am In your eyes My Lady of Dreams
Blind as I am In your eyes My Lady of Dreams
My 2 Cents –
My cousin asked for suggestions on how to get a child to sleep through the night. One of her friends is struggling with it, and I recommended the music of Kitaro. Most of their music is instrumental. My daughter loved it when she was little. The recommendation caused me to want to hear old favorites again. This particular song is sung by Jon Anderson from Yes. It is the only non Instrumental in their discography. They are a Japanese band. The music is quite soothing.
Pattimouse 