Here lately I have been getting spurts of inspiration… and urges to write or create. It always makes me feel like I’m feverish.
I can remember when I wrote when the muse struck me and the idea of using prompts seemed like cheating. Now, the prompts are more like a spring board. I am often less worried about the prompt than I am what I want to say.
I end up feeling like the prompts don’t fit with the idea of the volume I have been working on and I pass them by. I get a vision of what I want the book to look like and then I just don’t want it to be anything less.
Now that leads me down rabbit holes looking for just the right prompt, just the right idea to be just the right poem. Perhaps perfectionism is a true problem…
I have noticed that the last few weeks weeks I have been doing a lot of talking about writing on my Wednesday posts.
I considered changing the post to Write Wednesday. Then I realized it is one of my favorite hyperfixations.
For the unaware – hyperfixations is a neurodivergent thing. It is a term for an interest that takes all of your attention. This can be a food, a song, an activity…etc. If you are not careful it can be a bad thing.
Imagine craving a sandwich and fixating on the idea. You find that nothing else has any flavor for you. You suddenly have no interest in eating anything else.
If you are lucky you can get the current hyperfixation and work with your brain and the quirks of the neurodivergency that is your particular flavor.
Welcome to the city of lies Where everything’s got a price It’s gonna be in your favorite place You can be a movie star And get everything you want Just put some plastic on your face This place is a circus, you just see the surface They cover shit under the rug You can’t see they’re faking, they’ll never be naked Just fill your drink with tonic gin, this is the American dream, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know Keep drinking and acting cool Don’t care if your day is blue Nobody loves a gloomy face, just Take your pills and dance all night Don’t think at all, that’s the advice So c’mon, let’s try, it’s just a taste This place is a circus, you just see the surface They cover shit under the rug You can’t see they’re faking, they’ll never be naked Just fill your drink with tonic gin, this is the American dream, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know, so Sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know So sip the gossip, drink ’til you choke Sip the gossip, burn down your throat You’re not iconic, you are just like them all Don’t act like you don’t know
My 2 Cents –
Gossip is a drug to some. A festering need. It is never truth. It doesn’t fulfill any actual place in society. If you hear anything about me – ask me. I will always tell you what the truth is… you might be surprised at the little amount of truth gossip holds.
I posted recently about evolution of poetry volumes.
I started Echoes into the void Yesterday(For me this is Sunday.)
And already the inspiration has been leaning towards a singular topic. That does not mean it will be the end theme…but that is often how it starts. I am amused by this.
And in Announcements – I have been approved to do the Poetry Marathon Half Marathon! I did it before in 2017. It is 12 poems in 12 hours. One an hour based on prompts given. I usually enjoy this sort of writing challenge. I will be posting the poems here as well. It is in September. (I have to look up the exact date again…So I will clarify more information closer to.)
If I could build a fire and burn down my life That would be the one thing I got right ‘Cause I’m haunted by a shadow that I can’t escape See it in the mirror right behind my face I could build a fire and burn down my life Lately I could kill to be someone else I wanna ghost myself Try to stick it out but nothing helps I wanna ghost myself I’m a freak, I’m a liar Cut me out like a virus, oh I wanna ghost myself I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna ghost myself Think I’ll take my heart and throw it off a cliff Yeah I got a feeling that it won’t be missed Let my body and my mind disintegrate I don’t want you to see me this way Think I’ll take my heart and throw it off a cliff Lately I could kill to be someone else I wanna ghost myself Try to stick it out but nothing helps I wanna ghost myself I’m a freak, I’m a liar Cut me out like a virus, oh I wanna ghost myself If I could do it all over I’d do it right Cut loose all of the innocence If I could do it all over I’d do it right Kill the stereotype And start it all again Think I’ll take your heart and throw it off a cliff Lately I could kill to be someone else I wanna ghost myself Try to stick it out but nothing helps I wanna ghost myself I’m a freak, I’m a liar Cut me out like a virus, oh I wanna ghost myself I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna ghost myself
My 2 Cents –
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has regrets. Going back to redo your life…as good as it sounds… you can’t have the good you have without the bad you went through. But there are days. So, On those days… Let us Rock.
I Didn’t know what to talk about. In some ways it was better that way.
Recently, I sent a text to a friend.
He saw that text as an attack, and started to call me a liar. So I lashed out.
I apologized. Then I told him why I said what I did. I told him I felt like I was owed an apology as well. He said he was defending himself and would not apologize for it.
The problem is… I am seeing a six on the ground, and he is seeing a nine. Neither of us are wrong. He felt attacked. Though I was not attacking him, his feelings are valid. But in feeling attacked…He reacted. I then was hurt because he was attacking me…and I reacted. My apology was genuine. I honestly should not have said what I did. It was because he often calls me a liar – I don’t lie. He seems to think that because I am female it is a default…That I am going to always lie. I regret reacting…But I find myself questioning why I am putting myself in the position that this is even an issue.
I think I need new friends.
Because these make me cry. And I am damn tired of crying over people that don’t care.
I can almost see it That dream I’m dreaming But there’s a voice inside my head saying You’ll never reach it Every step I’m taking Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking But I, I gotta keep trying Gotta keep my head held high There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb The struggles I’m facing The chances I’m taking Sometimes might knock me down, but No, I’m not breaking I may not know it But these are the moments, that I’m gonna remember most, yeah Just gotta keep going And I, I gotta be strong Just keep pushing on, ’cause There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb Yeah There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes you’re gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb Yeah, yeah Keep on moving, keep climbing Keep the faith, baby It’s all about, it’s all about the climb Keep your faith, keep your faith Whoa
My 2 Cents –
The last two weeks have been dark songs… so I purposely went to look at the most uplifting thing I could think of. Not sure if it was just something that I was needing or just a little bit of a boost because I could. Either way… don’t give up. You matter more than you know.
Pattimouse 