Category: Self esteem

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

I don’t know what you had in mind
But here we stand on opposing sides

Let’s go to war
Let’s go to war

We arm ourselves with the wrongs we’ve done
Name them off one by one

Let’s go to war
Let’s go to war

Everything you say
Everything you do
You push it in
And you cut me down
And you cut me down

War, war, war

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe

Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?

Hush my baby; make no sound
Maybe we can wait each other out
It’s a cold war
Let’s go to war

With every settled score
I thought that fighting with meant fighting for
But you turn it around
But you turn it around

War, war, war

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe
Screaming at the ones we love

Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe

Do we feel safe?
Do we feels safe?
Do we feel safe?

Do we censor or do we flow?
Are we drunk on the chemicals?
Every feeling in my bones tells me to lash out
And tell you to fuck off

You’ve got my heart
And I’ve got your soul
But are we better off alone?

With every battle we lose a little more
Remember everything that we’d die for
You are everything that I’d die for

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds that we feel safe

Screaming at the ones we love
Like we forgot who we can trust
Screaming at the top of our lungs
On the grounds where we feel safe

Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?
Do we feel safe?

My 2 Cents – I thought I should talk about the title for my current volume. Internal Battlefields. I feel like all mental health is an internal war. we fight a battle every day against our own minds. This song feels like the anthem for this volume. So, LET’S GO TO WAR!

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

Strike first
Make it hurt
When everyone assumes the worst
I never have to say I’m sorry
Spiteful
Ruinous
I’m all things you feared I was
Another villain in your story
You think that I’m a spitfire?
You should
Afraid you’re on my bad side?
That’s good
If I wanted to end you
I could
I could
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Cold rage
Hides the shame
Of images I can’t escape
Scars that live under the surface
It’s strange
What I became
When part of me was ripped away
And replaced with something worthless
You think that I’m a spitfire?
You should
Afraid you’re on my bad side?
That’s good
If I wanted to end you
I could
I could
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Take what’s left
Of my fractured heart
Bloodstained ’cause
The pieces are so sharp
Take what’s left
Of my fractured heart
Bloodstained ’cause
The pieces are so sharp
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Never forget
I didn’t ask for this

My 2 Cents – this time of year is so freaking hard. No one asks for the mental health issues. No one asks for trauma. No one asks for the feeling like they are just unlovable…yet…so many people feel like they are. It costs you nothing to be kind, to be patient.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim
So they like you, do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don’t be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you, do you like you?

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
Yooou don’t have to try

Ohh

Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit cards
You don’t have to choose, buy it all
Do they like you? Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why should you care, what they think of you
When you’re all alone, by yourself
Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
Yooou don’t have to try

Noooo
Oooh

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try

Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don’t you like you?
Cause I like you

My 2 Cents – Most of you know I spend quite a bit of time on Tiktok…and this has become quite the popular song there. It is such a powerful message. We spend so much of our time trying to be something for the world around us…and often we don’t see the parts of ourselves that are actually worthwhile. I have never had a good view of myself…so I fight to see my own worth. The message here hits.

Updates, and ideas

Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

So I asked a bit ago for ideas to improve my blog. I had someone choose to send their ideas privately,(Which I am fine with by the way), and I felt the ideas to be brilliant. I have tried to put as many in place as I could. I do not know if I have put them in play completely yet…I am still working on a few of them. It will likely be a work in progress for the next little bit. I am working on getting a routine in place. I want 2023 to be a year where I am organized and have an easier time keeping up with my writing and art. I want the blog to flow without hesitation…I know I don’t work that way…but I am always gonna try.

Those who have followed me for a while know I usually pick a word for each new year. One to be an example for what my goals/plan for the year will be. I think that I will be using a phrase for 2023. My phrase will be “Forward Movement”. The thought is even a baby step is forward movement. I spend too much time beating myself up for stuff that I don’t manage to get done. Things that fall through the cracks. This year I want to focus on the joy of life. The celebration of the things that I do get done. So, I am setting myself up for success.

Time to renew

In November I was able to schedule the blog ahead. However, I was not able to do the normal weekly posts. Not with the daily poetry posts. I enjoyed the poetry posts though, did you? Still, now I am sitting here about to get the week ahead scheduled and I find that I am feeling like I am at a refresh moment. A save spot in a game if you will. It makes me wonder if I should make changes to the themes of my day to day posts. Definitely thinking about if I want to do anything else for the new year.

I would love feedback from the reader of my blog. What would you like to see me talking about in the future? What is not working? I don’t guarantee that I am going to implement the suggestions, but I am going to at least consider them all. I am currently thinking about adding a few things maybe taking a couple of things out. I never do that new year new me thing, but I do have a policy for a yearly word. My word for 2023 is actually a pair. “Forward Progress” I am trying to find a way to improve me, my work, and my life. I spent much of this last year struggling and in a rut. I want to avoid this in the upcoming year.

So, in the interest of Forward Progress, I will ask. What is your opinion on this blog? What should I continue? What is probably better left behind in 2022? What would be a good addition to the blog in the future?

Pad day 19

Today the prompt was Myth of (blank).

Book Birthday!!!

Today sees the release of Handprints On My Soul. Thoughtcicles is already set up for Preorder, and Kid’s week will see the release of Not Just Another Danny and Attack of Shoe Mountain.
This is a busy couple of months for me, and I am so grateful that I am able to be here doing this. So, Today…I am going to say Thank you for letting me be me.

PAD Day 8

Today the prompt could have worked…but I didn’t feel it. Today was the obligatory form poem/anti form poem prompt. He always puts it in. And I have a volume in development for that…but this was the first poem in Ethereal Dreams… I felt like acknowledging that. Each volume is a new mindset. I have to figure out what this chapter of my life is about. Thoughtcicles was about shock and grief for the changes of self and relationship. A lot of frozen thought and self care. I don’t know what ethereal Dreams is yet.

Also we’re a week into November. This is the month for writing… and I think that a lot of people – myself included – see Nanowrimo as a pass or fail thing way too often. It should be about the setting of a routine, not about the word count. If you can hit that word count daily then awesome, congratulations! But if you can’t don’t get discouraged. Set a time for daily writing and meet that every day. Not all writing is novels. Children’s books are a thing. Those require far less word count. Poetry is still writing. Do a poem a day.(that is what I decided to do) Do not measure your own success by the way that other people write. You are going to have a different way of speaking. Writing is another way of using your voice. Don’t let anyone take your voice from you.

Whelp, it’s Wednesday

I still have a cold. I am trying to get my creative juices flowing regardless of the sinuses and the other symptoms. (Hence why I did a penguin, I feel like a penguin.) I have made it through half of the week… I am scheduling tomorrow and Friday. Making it at least to Wednesday feels like an accomplishment. I have been doing some uploading to DeviantArt this week as well. (New phone has more space so I have the app…it makes me more likely to visit the site….) I have been doing less on Facebook and spending time on Tumblr. I still am reachable on all of my social media sites but I think that I spent too much time with Facebook and now I need to spread my time around. It should be less toxic for me to embrace the way each social media site works for shorter periods of time.

Time to begin again

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t know what I am changing yet…if anything. I am entering a little bit of a restructuring of my own life and social media. I still plan on being here. I am still me. However, I recently broke ties to a friend of over a decade. This has been coming for the past year. It should surprise no one.

I don’t know if I have anything to change, however a decade of shared speces and shared faces means that I at the very least have to consider the change… and the backlash it will have on the people around me. Though I share easily my life here, I don’t feel like I should be pointing fingers at others and writing their sins. What is toxic to me may not be to them. We can each only tell our own truth… whatever that may be.

I do post on social media vague rants and those who are close to me can figure it out…but I don’t point fingers. I don’t feel like it is my place to call someone out. It is my place to try and work through my own emotions and my reaction to the situation. Hence why I vague post. They are my way to work through the issue. Comments end up helping me to see if I am way out in left field or missing something.

Right now I am feeling grief. I am processing it. I am pulling myself away from the shared spaces. I am also refusing to allow my grief to stop the forward motion of Fae Corps. She requested that her books be pulled. She has decided to cut the ties completely. I think that is probably the best idea, as I will continue to get hurt otherwise. She left me feeling like I am hard to love, and hard to get along with. That is my responsibility to deal with.

I am back to dealing with this blog and the Fae Corps blog. I spent all day Sunday getting it dealt with, and I am determined to keep my blog from falling behind. Maybe I will have an easier time doing so with my mind not distracted by the issues I was facing.