Some days writing is easier, because my mind is loose and free of all the clutter that are memory. I do mental exercises, and meditation to clear my mind. Sometimes it works, other times it intensifies the clutter. Add to that the anxiety I often feel over whether my writing will be good enough, and you have a recipe for a hot mess. I know I shouldn’t feel anxious. Whether my writing is good enough or not, It really does not matter. Only that I continue writing. Continue improving. It’s not just my writing, it is everything I do. I have the same anxieties with my art and with my crafts. Even though I can see improvements in the drawings I am doing. I do not believe myself alone in my anxieties about what i create, as I have seen many creative types express similar feelings.
Category: emotional exploration
Getting things done
Trying to juggle so many hats means occasionally dropping a few. One merely tries not to drop the important ones. Mom, Maid, Writer, Artist, Poet, Dreamer, Momo (Happy third birthday Lennon!), Woman, Girlfriend, Sister, Daughter, Business Owner…Blogger, Person, Feminist….so many titles….And somehow I do okay at juggling them, most of the time. Today I did ok. I felt good about it. Even managed a couple of people giving me ego candy. Which believe me was sweet. I uploaded things for sale in my scott’s marketplace shop…I made new items, I handled a sick daughter. I cleaned, I overcame my social anxiety to talk to a person not online. I ate. (for me sometimes that really is award worthy….lol)
So today there were some hats dropped. I wasn’t able to write today…until now…and so this blog is all the writing I am getting done. Even that is something though. Perhaps I should be thankful the hats I dropped in the busy day, were not the most important ones. Which hats do you wear, and how adept are you at juggling them?
Ego Candy
It often amazes me how easy it is to feel that special boost of ego. A small compliment or a happy customer. Today, I received a boost. I have been feeling lately a lot down on myself, my art, my crafts and my writing. Its hard to feel good about stuff when one’s own family doesn’t seem to feel pride with what you have done. Now in the last two days, I have had two amazing compliments. The first was from my twelve year old. I ordered the proofs for my novella, and my children’s book. I gave them to my daughter. Well the other night as I tucked her in (cause yes i will still tuck her in every night so i can get that lovely hug and kiss each night), she told me she had read the children’s book. She said it was kinda good. Which is for her major praise. Then I had a day of good writing, followed by a day of productive crafting.
So today I had a visitor. who provided ego boost number two. I had laid out the pendants I made to try to plan a display. and she saw them. She was so enthralled by them that she kept telling me how beautiful the pendants are. It made me feel so good. I think in general we forget how small compliments and acts of kindness can affect the day of a person. So I think i will try to hand out a piece of ego candy (Compliments that is) every day. I recommend everyone do this.
Looking for Inspiration
This year has been better than last, Emotionally and physically I am in a good place. Still after the hell that was 2015, I find myself in more of a hold than normal. I normally write at least 70 poems in a year and at least a story of some sort. Even if I end up destroying the stories, I do write them. Yet this year has been an inspirational void. I have them…after major life changes. It makes sense if you think about it. How does one appreciate the poetry of life, when the mind is still adjusting to chaos that comes from being truly a hot mess. I still see the poetry, still feel the story. Surrealism clouds a busy mind.
For me March is one I almost always have a distracted mind during. This month is my birthday month. I am not a single bit worried about my age, however that doesn’t mean I don’t contemplate what growing older means. I expected that I would be so much more and yet I am farther than I thought I would be. So many of life’s choices have led me down a path that led me in both dark and light places that i could have never imagined. Today I am forty. I have made choices, both good and bad. In Eleven days, I will be forty and one . It always strikes me as strange. Perhaps that is why March sets me on my ear.
Distractions of the heart
I really have been trying to write lately. I am not one of those who can structure my writing. I can write everyday, and I do. Still this week has been a time of pure distraction. Even down to my writing app not functioning. My mind has been foggy, and I am quite afraid that if the app had worked…well it probably would have been something I deleted a day later. I have resolved to never delete what I write the same day. In some ways it keeps me from getting disgusted with what I have written and deciding it’s garbage…whether it really is or not.
So I have been doing other writing exercises. A journal, a bit of blogging, and still my heart aches. I have several work in progress that feel like I will never finish. It makes my heart ache because I feel like such a failure. In all honesty, I wrote my first novel at ten. However, in frustration and self doubt, I threw it away. I forgot what I wrote. So the uncertainty of that early failure (the trashing of what i wrote is the failure) followed me. I write, I publish. So far only a novella, a children’s book, and four volumes of poetry. I publish because it doesn’t cost anything. Perhaps it is still my self doubt that holds me back. I battle the low self esteem as I have my whole life. I am perhaps never going to see myself as others do. And that is actually Ok. I would love to see even once that which others see in me, but if not, then I will survive. I will continue to write because without it, I am nothing. I will continue to be kind and helpful to others, because it is not in me to be unkind. I will continue to be creative in every way I can find. For the creativity helps me to feel less ugly. Perhaps that is all there is in life. Finding beauty in the ugly of life.
Creative Rivers Flow
I truly believe that everyone has some font of creativity. Most never see that streak within themselves. For some it comes out in form of fashion, In some it is an eye for color in Decor. Some write, some draw. Every creative act nourishes the soul. So each person needs some way of expressing that. I personally think that those with an uncertainty and self doubt end up expressing more of a creative nature. Which is why much poetry and art has pain and darkness at it’s base. All forms of creative expression are the mind’s way of dealing with extra stress and extra doubt.
Mind you, I am not claiming this is a bad thing. I applaud any way that leads the mind to cope with life. I think that creative expression of pain and doubt lead to much of the beauty in our world. It amazes me how much beauty exists. I am all over the place when it comes to beauty. Enjoying a well written song, a beautiful poem. Smiling over a gorgeous picture, a well done show. Eclectic in my personal decor and jewelry. There are many enjoyments I have in all forms of beauty and creative expression. What is it that you think of creativity? What is your thoughts on Beauty?
In the loneliness
here i sit uncertain and alone,
Planning uncertainty
for so little is known.
Hearing the negative,
so loud inside my head,
Tossing and turning.
can’t go to bed.
Those who should praise me
Do naught but to doubt,
Those who should see me,
For them i am not really around.
Invisible and struggling.
Sinking when I should swim,
The ocean of doubt crashes within
The struggle about
Just trying to begin.
I know better than to hear
The darkness within
I know i am better than I ever
possibly have been.
Yet in the loneliness,
Deep in the night,
That is when the voice within
is hardest to fight,
when no one is there
to help fight it off.
no one is there to remind you
of the cost
How has the times changed…
I remember as a Preteen hating to wear my hair short. I have always been bulky and slightly tomboyish. So I was picked on because apparently I looked like a boy…even though I had breasts. So I always wore my hair long back then. I fought for the ability to wear it long. Tonight I had a talk with my preteen daughter. She fights to wear her hair short (because it requires less care). I asked her if she gets picked on because of her hair. Her response was that she doesn’t get picked on, apparently she is invisible.
I guess in these times of gender neutrality it makes sense. I was her age in 1988…so many things have changed in that time. There are other differences as well. In my daughter’s time there is so many more hazards that were either not there or not obvious when I was her age. I remember the struggles and try to use that when dealing with her, but even with that memory it is so different for her than it was for me, so there are times when the generation gap feels like a chasm.
Abuse
Okay I have put this one on hold. And that is because it isn’t an easy topic. I survived. And I am far from the only one. So It isn’t a topic I feel comfortable with. It’s not a topic anyone should feel comfortable with.
Before I get any farther into this topic…. if you are being abused, get help. If you are feeling suicidal because of all you have suffered call
1 (800) 273-8255. It’s a hotline.
There are so many forms of abuse. And there is even forms of self abuse. As I really don’t want to go too far into most of them for the possibly triggering effects it can have on those reading this.
The thing about abuse is though it can take many forms, it always has the same effects. Damage to the mind and body and souls of those who are abused. The survivors often feel alone and anxious. Please if you have survived…know you aren’t alone.
Blogging
Well this is an odd thing for me. I often ramble. And I tend to use my blog for two reasons…. either to rant or to “advertise” my writing. So I probably am an odd duck on here. I do not follow the normal way of things. My writing follows language rules and grammar rules. However I am not one to follow the rules of what is politically correct. I by my nature am terminally blunt. That tends to come out in my writing…
My blog has taken a bit more random feel as i am trying to write on prespecified topics as well. I enjoy comments because it feels like someone is interested in what I have to say. Since I have started doing this blog I have found a reason to write more than I did before. And I feel guilty if I am unable to write that day.(usually I end up finding a way. I can’t sleep until I manage it).