okay, so I have overdone everything.
my body aches everywhere.
I have a few things that are still in the works, and I am not sure what I have that I can share about them.
I know I have to work on a million things… but it has been a long week.
So I don’t have any more spoons.
Lyrics –
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Call me an outcast, call me a freak
Watch those bullets ricochet straight off of me
‘Cause I belong where right is wrong
No lost cause like the good books say
Don’t give a damn what people think
I march along to a different song
Oh, I feel it deep in my bones
I was born to break every curse, every chain
So I’m singing
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Pray the lord my soul to keep
Hail, hail, the black sheep
Thinkin’ like water, think it speaks
Oh, how the river runs deep
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
Can’t shut me up, won’t bite my tongue
Speak my truth till the day is done
I’m not a saint, I own my pain
Never was lost, but I found my way
Always knew I’d show my scars one day
For the rules I broke, helped me build my throne
Oh, I’m right where I belong
Now I’m singing
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Pray the lord my soul to keep
Hail, hail, the black sheep
Thinkin’ like water, think it speaks
Oh, how the river runs deep
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
Hail the black sheep, yeah
Hail the black sheep, oh yeah
From the streets, to the gutters
We’re sisters and brothers
One nation under one love, one color
Born to be
Black sheep
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Pray the lord my soul to keep
Hail, hail, the black sheep
Thinkin’ like water, think it speaks
Oh, how the river runs deep
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
From the streets, to the gutters
We’re sisters and brothers
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
My 2 cents –
Family is such a huge thing. For some of us it is a good thing, and for others… well…we spend the whole of our lives wondering what is wrong with us.
So I know that I have been trying to get back to my usual for this week… and yes… I am scheduling it all on Sunday… but I got as far as Wednesday and I don’t know what to do with it.
I have so much going on, and I know that I can use it for telling you about it… but sometimes it’s not stuff that I know how to share.
This month especially is physically busy. It’s also busy with work. Okay let me explain.
Work is not usually physical for me. Work is writing, editing, and publishing. It can be incredibly mentally taxing. But I am often not up and moving around.
Part of the reason why is that I don’t have exactly good mobility. I will get unable to move if I do too much.
Well, in order for me to have an office…we have to clean out a storage room. Plus I have plans for the weekend to be at Milton Flea market with my resin art and jewelry. (Kiddo is doing yard sale stuff at the same time.) And the chickens are going to be getting a new coop from a old building in the yard – that also needed cleaned out to be useable.
So, I think that I am just overwhelmed and stressed out. Hopefully I can do a good post next week about the flea market.
So one of my favorite people is off on an adventure today. Raz T. Slasher is going to be at Final Boss Con today at a table talking about his books. If you are in Ohio in the area, stop by and say hi for me.
He is one that I have enjoyed publishing, and knowing for a little bit now. It’s only about an hour away from where I live but I can’t get transportation to go see him.
Regrets
By Patricia Harris
In the moment when you seek
a reprieve from your own mind
or the uneasiness of your own skin…
that is when regrets sneak in.
The emotional toll is heavy indeed,
for regrets are weighty when the
soul is most in need of relief.
*Poet’s Note…Though I have been Keeping up with the PAD Challenge…I failed to post yesterday. I apologize. My Daughter is very ill, and I have been trying to keep up. I was at the ER most of the Day yesterday.
Okay I posted to the new site and it is not showing the blog there. Technical support is a wonderful friend but he is a very busy person right now. So I am hoping to get it fixed soon.
And no, before any one gets it in their head… this is not an April fools thing. I don’t do that because I don’t handle jokes well.
They say that what you take pictures of is what you see as important. I remember the first camera I had. It was a cheap one that took 35mm film. That excitement of taking pictures…then I paid for development. The disappointment of the pictures were so blurry and disjointed.
It was enough to be a reason why I didn’t take pictures for years. That camera was a painful thing from my teen years. If digital ones had been available I would have figured out how to do more with them, but it was just not a thing. I could have used a Polaroid but they were expensive and I was poor.
So when my youngest child was born my friend bought me a new digital one. I took thousands of pictures of my daughter and her cousin. Babies are so good at looking adorable even if the one holding the camera is not good at the setting up the shot.
That camera was stolen when we had “friends” over for a Christmas dinner. But by that point I had a smart phone. So I kept learning about taking pictures.
Now I still have the random awful picture, but I have learned to accept that I don’t have to be a professional quality photographer. I take pictures of what I want to remember and when I look at the picture I have a memory. Sometimes I even have a good picture.
So, I ask you… what do you photograph? And are you any good at it? Or like me do you just have memories and the occasional good shot?
My daughter is actually too smart for my own good.
We were having a conversation and she got slightly aggravated with me. I know she probably phrased it slightly differently but the gist of what she said was that she had heard me tell her father that I don’t see him as the villain, and I don’t want him to be my hero. Her question was “well why the hell not? who rescues you?”
I don’t know how to explain to her that I don’t want to be rescued. I am my own hero…. and I tried to tell her that. She said that she had never seen me choose myself over them. I have always chosen the best for her and him. She said she didn’t understand. I chose the best for the best part of my life. How do I even begin to explain it?
She is my whole world. Don’t get me wrong, I love my other two children but I didn’t get to raise either of them… and then add in the two miscarriages I had before her. I can’t have any more children. I wanted a house full when I was younger. I found having her was enough.
She always seems to know what to say and when I just need her to be around. She has such a delightful eclectic taste in music and an artistic bent. She is so empathetic and she has a definite view of the world.
So, she is my whole reason to want to be a better person. And she gets mad at me for not being selfish.
How does it work?
I posted yesterday on Facebook how blessed I felt. I had been invited to join a collective group of poet’s and artists. I said that I felt like an ant in a group of giants.
A good friend pointed out that without Imposter syndrome where would we be… Politics?
That made me laugh .
I am ill suited for politics, because the only person I can lie successfully to is me.
Still I shall enjoy the time spent amongst others who bend words so pleasantly.
(btw the art is mine)
20 years ago today I gave birth to my own best friend….
{the picture is old}
As her day is on Sunday I will be struggling with getting my blog done this week.
Pattimouse 