Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

If I can’t let you go, will darkness divide?
For the fiction of love is the truth of our lies
We were playing for keeps but we both knew the cost
Now the only way out’s in your heart shaped box
But I hate that it seems you were never enough
We were broken and bleeding but never gave up
And I hate that I made you the enemy
And I hate that your heart was the casualty
Now, I hate that I need you
As we rest here alone like notes on a page
The finest to compose could not play our pain
With a candle through time I could still see your ghost
But I can’t close my eyes, for it
For it is there where you haunt me most
Where you haunt me most
I hate that it seems you were never enough
We were broken and bleeding, but never gave up
And I hope that I stain through your memory
As we echo through time in the melody
Now I hate that I need you
And I hear you now when you said it hurt
But it had to fall, fall apart to work
As I see you now in what’s left of me
Is it too late to plead insanity?
‘Cause I hate that it seems you were never enough
Yeah, we’re broken and bleeding in the name of love
And I hope that we meet in another life
I hope that we meet in another life
I don’t hate that I need you
(I don’t hate that I need you)
I don’t hate that I need you
(I don’t hate that I need you)
I don’t hate that I need you

My 2 cents –

Ever feel like you are watching something die, and you are helpless to stop it? Like you want to run but if you do you know that regret will drown you?… Yeah that’s what I hear and I fear drowning.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

All I really want is something beautiful to say
Keep me locked up in your broken mind
I keep searchin’, never been able to find a
Light behind your dead eyes
Not anything at all
You keep living in your own lie, ever-deceitful and ever-unfaithful
Keep me guessin’, keep me terrified
Take everything from my world
Say can you help me right before the fall
Take what you can and leave me to the wolves
Keep me dumb, keep me paralyzed
Why try swimming? I’m drowning in fables
You’re not that saint that you externalize
You’re not anything at all
It’s oh-so playful when you demonize
To spit out the hateful, you’re willing and able
Words are weapons I’d be terrified
You’re nothing in my world
Say can you help me right before the fall
Take what you can and leave me to the wolves
All I really want is something beautiful to say
Keep me guessin’, keep me terrified
All I really want is something beautiful to say
You keep livin’ in your own lie
All I really want is something beautiful to say
To never fade away, I wanna live forever
All I really want is something beautiful to say
To never fade away, I wanna live forever
You keep living in your own lie
Keep me guessin’, keep me terrified
All I really want is something beautiful to say
Say can you help me right before the fall
Take what you can and leave me to the wolves
All I really want is something beautiful to say
Words are weapons I’d be terrified
All I really want is something beautiful to say
Keep me guessin’, keep me terrified
All I really want is something beautiful to say
To never fade away, I wanna live forever
All I really want is something beautiful to say
To never fade away, I wanna live forever

My 2 cents –

As a poet, I feel like this is my theme song. I am aware of the power of words… Are you?

Who I am, realized

I posted a week ago that I was dealing with the death of the family pet. My kid is still in grief mode… And I don’t blame them. I miss my favorite siren. But I don’t handle death well.

I have been upsetting my kid because I have accidentally started to use the cat to refer to Luna. I find myself trying to separate myself from the pain that she is gone.

We had her for five years. I am still struggling to process that she is gone.

Everyone has been offering condolences and I appreciate the thoughts….

But it feels so hollow because it doesn’t bring the pain to an end. That is why I struggle with what I should say when someone else is grieving. I hate that hollow feeling so I don’t want to give it to anyone.

So, Thank you for the well wishes… But I just don’t know what to do with them.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

“So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?”

Watching through my fingers
Watching through my fingers

Shuts my eyes and count to ten
It goes in one ear out the other, oh
One ear out the other, oh
Burning bright right ’til the end
Now you’ll be missing from the photographs
Missing from the photographs

Watching through my fingers
Watching through my fingers

In my thoughts you’re far away
And you are whistling a melody
Whistling a melody
Crystallizing clear as day
Oh, I can picture you so easily
Picture you so easily

What’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it?
What’s gonna be left of the world? Oh

Every minute and every hour
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more
Every stumble and each misfire
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

Watching through my fingers
Watching through my fingers

Caught off guard by your favorite song
I’ll be dancing at a funeral
Dancing at a funeral
Sleeping in the clothes you love
It’s such a shame we have to see them burn
Shame we have to see them burn

What’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it?
What’s gonna be left of the world? Oh

Every minute and every hour
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more
Every stumble and each misfire
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

“If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle
Now stop worrying and go get dressed”

You might have to excuse me
I’ve lost control of all of my senses
And you might have to excuse me
I’ve lost control of all of my words
So get drunk, call me a fool
Put me in my place, put me in my place
Pick me up, up off the floor
Put me in my place, put me in my place

Every minute and every hour
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more
Every stumble and each misfire
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

Watching through my fingers
Watching through my fingers

‘Cause every minute and every hour
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

My 2 cents –

First… Thank you to Andrew McDowell for introducing me to this band. I have been doing a deep dive on their discography since.

So I had to ask my kid if they knew about it. And of course they did. It created a conversation about the meaning of the band name and the fact that so many of the songs have sad lyrics. All have a great beat. But an incredibly sad lyrics.

The response I got was something along the lines of the happier the day the music starts to be less so. Because the beat is so much better on the sad ones.

Regardless I love the band and it had somehow escaped my life before now.

The Cost of Grief…

If you are a facebook friend or follow my Instagram… you have seen me post yesterday that our family cat has passed. That means I am a true mess. My Child is the Intern doing the Fae Corps blog…So I scheduled it for them…because in so many ways Luna was their baby. We are going to be okay…but it will take time. This is probably the only post I am doing for Wednesday & Thursday here. I will schedule my usual Friday post. By Monday I should be back to my routine…but if not then I will try to pick it back up as soon as I can. We are used to a very vocal baby who is now silent. This will be hard.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

Breathe in, breathe out

Can someone tell me I’m not going crazy?
The thoughts in my head make me hate me
Maybe I’m too far from saving
Can someone check that the room isn’t spinning?
Seems like the oxygens thinning
The monsters in my head keep on winning

I’m bigger than the bad thoughts
I’m better than the way they make me feel
I won’t let the bad thoughts take the wheel
I’m bigger than the bad thoughts
I’m brighter than the light they’re trying to steal
So why do they feel so real?

Breathe in, breathe out
Sometimes I don’t like the cards that I’m handed
Life can seem too hard to manage
I’m proud of myself for just standing
When light feels too real that the door shuts on reasons
Voice in my heads preys on my biggest weakness
I count my breath, one, two, three, four

Breathe in, breathe out

Just ’cause I think something don’t make it true
Been here before but I’ve gotten through
Maybe not now but I’ll be okay soon
Maybe not now but I’ll be okay soon

I’m bigger than the bad thoughts
I’m brighter than the light they’re trying to steal
I won’t let the bad thoughts take the wheel
I’m bigger than the lone nights
I’m brighter than the light they’re trying to steal
So why do they feel so real?
I know they’re not real
Bad thoughts aren’t real

I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright

I’ma be-
I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright

I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright
I’ma be alright

My 2 cents –

I am slightly overwhelmed lately with life. But I’ma be alright.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

Got a boy back home in Michigan
And it tastes like Jack when I’m kissing him
So I told him that I never really liked his friends
Now he’s gone and he’s calling me a bitch again
There’s a guy that lives in a garden state
And he told me that we make it ’til we graduate
So I told him that the music would be worth the wait
But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe
That we’re meant to be
But jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
Get the best of me
Look, I don’t mean to frustrate, but I
Always make the same mistakes, yeah I
Always make the same mistakes ’cause
I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
But you can’t blame me for tryin’
You know I’d be lyin’ sayin’
You were the one (ooh-ooh)
That could finally fix me
Lookin’ at my history
I’m bad at love
Got a girl with California eyes
And I thought that she could really be the one this time
But I never got the chance to make her mine
Because she fell in love with little thin white lines
London girl with an attitude
We never told no one but we look so cute
Both got way better things to do
But I always think about it when I’m riding through
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe
That I’m in too deep
And jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
Get the best in me
Look, I don’t mean to frustrate, but I
Always make the same mistakes, yeah I
Always make the same mistakes ’cause
I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
But you can’t blame me for tryin’
You know I’d be lyin’ sayin’
You were the one (ooh-ooh)
That could finally fix me
Lookin’ at my history
I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
Oh, you know, you know, you know, you know (ooh)
I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
I know that you’re afraid
I’m gonna walk away
Each time the feeling fades
Each time the feeling fades
I know that you’re afraid
I’m gonna walk away
Each time the feeling fades
You know I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
But you can’t blame me for tryin’
You know I’d be lyin’ sayin’
You were the one (ooh-ooh)
That could finally fix me
Lookin’ at my history
I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
Oh, you know, you know, you know, you know (ooh)
I’m bad at love (ooh-ooh)
Oh, oh

My 2 cents –

This song sounds so much like the stories I tell of my past romances that I sometimes wonder who was watching me.

The Waiter I picked up and dated for 2 weeks until I found out He had been married for 2 years.

The sweet girl I scared because I was so reckless with my own life.

The lover I acquired because our fiances cheated on us, so we decided to return the favor.

The lover that I would have spent hours listening to because he understood me, but we met when I couldn’t stay.

They say if a poet loves you then you will be immortal…and each of them has been. For a part of me loves everyone I have ever loved. Even if I never should have.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

Hey there little red riding hood
You sure are looking good
You’re everything a big bad wolf could want

Little red riding hood
I don’t think little big girls should
Go walking in these spooky old woods alone

What big eyes you have
The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad
Just to see that you don’t get chased
I think I oughta walk with you for a ways

What full lips you have
They’re sure to lure someone bad
So until you get to Grandma’s place
I think you oughta walk with me and be safe

Gonna keep my sheep suit on
‘Til I’m sure that you’ve been shown
That I can be trusted walking with you alone

Little red riding hood
I’d like to hold you if I could
But you might think I’m a big bad wolf so I won’t

What a big heart I have
The better to love you with
Little red riding hood
Even bad wolves can be good

I try to keep satisfied
Just to walk close by your side
Maybe you’ll see things my way
‘Fore we get to Grandma’s place

Little red riding hood
You sure are looking good
You’re everything a big bad wolf could want

Little red riding hood
I don’t think little big girls should
Go walking in these spooky old woods alone

What big eyes you have
The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad
Just to see that you don’t get chased
I think I oughta walk with you for a ways

What full lips you have
They’re sure to lure someone bad
So until you get to Grandma’s place
I think you oughta walk with me and be safe

My 2 cents –

I realize this is a cover… But the sexy female voice singing a song about a sexy female… Well that’s a good idea. Or at least to me it is.

What a week!

This has been a busy week.

I found out (thanks to one of my authors there) that the covers are not appearing on the sites for the indie bookstores in Canada. So I am working to get that fixed.

I have several books in the manuscript stage. This is where I am dealing with Formatting, editing and making sure that all the details are right before I publish them. Which is tiring all on it’s own.

I got distracted by a new story. I was doing well writing the Sea Wytch…but I got invited to submit to an anthology Fractured Mind Publishing is Doing…and it is out of my normal genre. And I am scared to death of messing it up…but I am enjoying the writing. It is flowing, and I am trying to make it work.

If I get accepted it will be a February release. I will be sure to post more on here as it is known to me. (of course this is a Serena thing.)

I wrote another Bedtime tales book for release next year. (That is a Patricia thing..)

And the poetry has been happening.

With all of that plus the normal publishing stuff…and the housekeeping that I have to try to keep up with…I am exhausted.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –

Hey, your glass is empty
It’s a hell of a long way home
Why don’t you let me take you?
It’s no good to go alone
I never would have opened up
But you seemed so real to me
And after all the bullshit I’ve heard
Refreshing not to see
That I don’t have to pretend
She doesn’t expect it from me
So, don’t tell me I
Haven’t been good to you
Don’t tell me I
Have never been there for you
Just tell me why
Nothing is good enough
Hey little girl, would you like some candy?
Your Momma said it’s okay
The door is open, come on outside
No, I can’t come out today
It’s not the wind that cracked your shoulder
And threw you to the ground
Who’s there that makes you so afraid?
You’re shaken to the bone
And no, I don’t understand
You deserve so much more than this
So, don’t tell me why
He’s never been good to you
Don’t tell me why
He’s never been there for you
Don’t you know that why
It’s simply not good enough
Oh, so just let me try
I will be good to you
Just let me try
And I will be there for you
I’ll show you why
You’re so much more than
Good enough
So, don’t tell me why
He’s never been good to you
Don’t tell me why
He’s never been there for you
Don’t you know that why
It’s simply not good enough
Oh, so just let me try
I will be good to you
Just let me try
And I will be there for you
I’ll show you why
You’re so much more than
Good enough

My 2 cents –

This was the first song that I ever heard that had defined Queer undertones. I had always had the abusive relationship, so this song hit so hard the first time I heard it. The idea that music could talk openly about all of it. (I had been sheltered music wise before I heard this one…A Lot of Country and Hard Rock. Neither really tackle queer topics or rather did back then.) Nowadays queer representation in music is everywhere…but back when I first heard this song it was such a new thing.

Pattimouse

A glimpse into the mind of a half mad poet

Category: family

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes

Who I am, realized

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes

What a week!

Tuesday Tunes

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