Category: Children

Covers, for Days….

So I have said that I enjoy making covers…and Especially poetry covers for future books – whether I ever get them written or not…I just enjoy the creation of the idea.

I am, at least where my files are concerned, Very organized. So I have a folder of future Poetry volumes and then each is organized alphabetically.

That gives me an idea of when I have two many of any one letter starting the titles. So I can choose titles from letters I have less of. If I have 3 or more then I feel like it is time to pick a different folder to add an idea to.

Do I realize that with over 70 future volume covers I will never get them all written? Yeah. This is an art form that relaxes me. And it means when I finish a volume I have choices. So less anxiety there.

My child thinks I am overwhelming myself. Planning for things that will never be, I see it as dreaming gently about possibilities.

Did you miss me?

FAQ

I am aware that I have missed the majority of the last week. November is always a hard time for me. I end up sick more often than not. Chronic Bronchitis doesn’t seem to let me do everything that I want to do. Between that and the stress of moving my youngest child into their own house… and then the election…I just went out of commission. I am behind on my work, have not written anything in a week and am barely back to being alive. I am trying to get my work caught up – because I have authors depending on me. I’m sorry for the delay in my own writing.  I plan on going back and trying to do the poetry for the missed days, whether I end up getting them up here or not. I am going to try to start posting again. This will be a little bit of effort on my part as my desk is still covered by things that I have been neglecting.

Thursday Thoughts

Meme-emotional description

My youngest child is in the process of moving into their own house. I am so torn. They are 20 and ready to do this but I worry about it. Add in the fact that I have had a child to worry about since I was 14 and I find myself with no children to make decisions about…I am going through a lot of emotions that I don’t know what to do with.

Thursday Thoughts

Meme - I am Done

Can I please go back to avoiding the news?

Serena’s poem this week came from a news story about a child being drowned by their own parent. it’s not an uncommon story…but I’m getting tired and old. I have never been able to understand what drives a parent to kill their kids. I don’t understand why parents abuse their own child either. I have had some issues where I have made mistakes but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the ones that purposely hurt the kids. I don’t understand why.

Innocence is not a reason to hurt. If you can’t handle kids don’t have any. Some people just should not be parents.

Pad Challenge Day 19

Regrets

By Patricia Harris

In the moment when you seek
a reprieve from your own mind
or the uneasiness of your own skin…
that is when regrets sneak in.

The emotional toll is heavy indeed,
for regrets are weighty when the
soul is most in need of relief.

*Poet’s Note…Though I have been Keeping up with the PAD Challenge…I failed to post yesterday. I apologize. My Daughter is very ill, and I have been trying to keep up. I was at the ER most of the Day yesterday.

Answer the question

My daughter is actually too smart for my own good.

We were having a conversation and she got slightly aggravated with me. I know she probably phrased it slightly differently but the gist of what she said was that she had heard me tell her father that I don’t see him as the villain, and I don’t want him to be my hero. Her question was “well why the hell not? who rescues you?”

I don’t know how to explain to her that I don’t want to be rescued. I am my own hero…. and I tried to tell her that. She said that she had never seen me choose myself over them. I have always chosen the best for her and him. She said she didn’t understand. I chose the best for the best part of my life. How do I even begin to explain it?

She is my whole world. Don’t get me wrong, I love my other two children but I didn’t get to raise either of them… and then add in the two miscarriages I had before her. I can’t have any more children. I wanted a house full when I was younger.  I found having her was enough.

She always seems to know what to say and when I just need her to be around. She has such a delightful eclectic taste in music and an artistic bent. She is so empathetic and she has a definite view of the world.

So, she is my whole reason to want to be a better person. And she gets mad at me for not being selfish.

How does it work?

Birthdays and family

20 years ago today I gave birth to my own best friend….

{the picture is old}

As her day is on Sunday I will be struggling with getting my blog done this week.

Feeling like I did Something

Well…I finished writing Queer Verbage which will not release until April…it seems so far away…but it is one less thing I have hanging over me. I can do the formatting and get the stuff done for publishing.
I cannot explain why the need to finish it was so strong, but having it done is a weight off. Now I have Tears of the Broken, Dream Drops, Fighting Ignorance, Ocular Dystopia, Occult Madness in progress for me and Chasing Ghosts for Serena.
When I mentioned to my Daughter how I felt like I was struggling with it, she said I was pushing too hard. She said that if I worked any harder she would never get to see me. Sorry, she comes first there. But it did make me wonder…what is the right amount? I try to write as I feel the urge, but I also try to set a daily goal so I actually get forward progress on more than just the poetry volumes…because I tend to get easily distracted from my stories. I am aware there is a discipline to this…and I am a child of chaos.
So where is the happy medium for me? That is something I am going to be working with over the next few weeks. I need to set me a workable time schedule for writing and work that I can stick to…or at least attempt to. Let’s see how that goes?

Wild Wednesday

I was searching for the theme…

I wanted Halloween Music. I came across this List.

I love it. When I had searched for the same sort of thing on Movies…Well I found I was disappointed in the list. Scary movies most of these are not…at least not to me.
Boyfriend says I am desensitized.

He might be right. I was reading horror books back in elementary school – like real ones. Steven King and the like. My parents did not limit what I read. (I was reading College level by time I hit 4th grade.)

I remember being scared by some really well written stories.

And My imagination is far richer than most movies.

So, I end up being disappointed by the movies because they can not live up to the full richness of the stories in my head. I get people who get mad at me when I say that I am not a video person…because the shows rarely are worth the time I have to spend away from my books.

And I have no way to explain that without sounding strange. I love music. I love books. Movies and television however often disappoints.

Old radio programs and Theater shows are amazing however…

Drawtober

Day 12 prompt (my daughter asked me to draw a chibi her) I am terrible at chibi. The bottom is the first one I drew. The second one is more “chibi” and honestly looks more like her.