I find myself introspective a lot more lately. I am going through my computer files and transferring stuff from my phone. I have been trying to clean up the duplicates and sort and organize it.
I am finding myself amazed by the sheer volume of files. They are pictures of my poetry and art I have made. I wish I could say that I see the progress in my art. It seems like I either draw or create art beautifully or like a brain dead kindergartener. There’s no middle line apparently.
I have been fighting a wound on my foot since October and now that it is healed I am allowed to do stuff. So I looked at the mess that my personal space has become because I was not allowed to be on my feet and I was so overwhelmed I didn’t know where to start.
I just sat down and went to pieces because I was too uncomfortable and overwhelmed to get anything done. I told my kid that. He kinda seems to be smarter than I am most of the time anymore, I swear. He just looks at me and says he is planning a yard sale. why not sort through the boxes beside the desk for stuff to toss to the sale? He literally just gave me a starting point. I did the boxes and I stopped there for the night. The next day I went through a corner that had been catching my craft supplies thinking it would be a small step forward and I have apparently done too much. My body doesn’t bother to tell me that I should slow down anymore …it just quits and I hurt for the next few days.
So I have been forced to go back to doing nothing. I hate that. So I am cleaning up my files and quietly trying to feel better about what I did get done instead of feeling like I failed because I pushed my self too much.
I need to find a way to stay out of my own head. it’s dark in there and sometimes it is terrifying to lose the light.
so I announced that she will be releasing a kids book for kids week…because Dante Elliott requested it…guess what…he asked her to do another. so she did. It still has to be illustrated and put together but she wrote it for Dante.
Serena Mossgraves was not supposed to be writing kids books but she has a real soft spot where Dante is concerned. She doesn’t want anyone to know that she is a softie but I personally don’t know how she’s going to hide it with her second kids book being announced..,lol
When you feel that rage (When you feel that) When you feel that rage We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break So come and play with that rage (That rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (The flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (That rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory We’ve been working towards the goal for most our lives Every challenge that we faced, we have survived Our confidence is growing everyday Finally it is our time to reign Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break So come and play with that rage (That rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (The flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (That rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart And now I know that this is just the start We will fight for everything we are RAGE, that RAGE (When you feel that rage, when you feel that) RAGE, that RAGE (When you feel that rage, when you feel that) Rage (That rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (The flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (That rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory We will go down in history So come and play with that rage (That rage)
My 2 cents –
I find myself avoiding social media and news…I am enraged at the politics and shenanigans that the government is getting up to. I am scared for those who are endangered by the stupidity that is going on and I feel helpless.
We were three little girls from school. One was pretty, one was smart And one was a borderline fool. Well she’s still good lookin’ That woman hadn’t slipped a bit. The smart one used her head She made her fortune. And me, I cross the border every chance I get. We were the girls of the 50’s. Stoned rock and rollers in the 60’s. And more than our names got changed As the 70’s slipped on by. Now we’re 80’s ladies. There ain’t been much these ladies ain’t tried. We’ve been educated. We got liberated. And had complicating matters with men. Oh, we’ve said “I do” And we’ve signed “I don’t” And we’ve sworn we’d never do that again. Oh, we burned our bras, And we burned our dinners And we burned our candles at both ends. And we’ve had some children Who look just like the way we did back then. Oh, but we’re all grown up now. All grown up, But none of us could tell you quite how. We were the girls of the 50’s. Stoned rock and rollers in the 60’s. Hunny, more than our names got changed, As the 70’s slipped on by. Now we’re 80’s ladies. There ain’t been much these ladies ain’t tried. A- my name is Alice. I’m gonna marry Artie. We’re gonna sell apples And live in Arkansas. B- my name is Betty. I’m gonna marry Bobby. We’re gonna sell beans And live in Brazil. C- my name is Connie. I’m gonna marry Charlie. We’re gonna sell cars And live in California.
My 2 cents –
it’s March. I am going to be 50 next week and it’s making me feel strange. I never believed that I would see 30…now I am somehow 50? I have lived a full life and it is not even close to being over. I am going nostalgic for the music choice today but I kinda feel the song as well. There’s not much I have not tried – but I am still enjoying the possibility.
Cut me open and you’ll find A brain, heart, liver, lungs And a knife in the spine
It’s chilling to know that the last place you go Might be where the fat lady sings Does it hurt? I don’t know, and where do we go? We don’t tease fragile minds with such things
So sell me down the river First help me sell my soul It’s something I know I can deliver I think we’ve finally broke the mold
It’s getting harder to know if I’m sane My issues are leaking outside of my veins Somebody save me or end me I haven’t yet made up my mind
If it leads to paranoia, boy, you might want to hit the floor Before exposure leads to a metamorphosis we can’t ignore Lost in the whisper and hung on a prayer If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there
So sell me down the river First help me sell my soul It’s something I know I can deliver I think we’ve finally broke the mold
Will I be an end to someone’s destiny? Who’s to know? And will I give right in to my aggression? Who’s to know? Will I fall apart all alone Who’s to know? Or will I shine right through And lay this hate to rest with all of you?
So sell me down the river (down the river) First help me sell my soul It’s something I know I can deliver (I can deliver) I think we’ve finally broke the mold
My 2 cents –
today I have an mri. I will try to explain in my Thursday post ….but I am trying to keep the panic away right now .
‘Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not die.’ Cry! Last fire will rise Behind those eyes. Black house will rock, Blind boys don’t lie. Immortal fear, That voice so clear. Through broken walls, That scream I hear. Cry, little sister! (Thou shalt not fall) Come, come to your brother! (Thou shalt not die) Unchain me, sister! (Thou shalt not fear) Love is with your brother! (Thou shalt not kill) Blue masquerade, Strangers look on. When will they learn This loneliness? Temptation heat Beats like a drum. Deep in your veins, I will not lie, Little sister! (Thou shalt not fall) Come, come to your brother! (Thou shalt not die) Unchain me, sister! (Thou shalt not fear) Love is with your brother! (Thou shalt not kill) My Shangri-Las, I can’t forget Why you were mine. I need you now! Cry, little sister! (Thou shalt not fall) Come, come to your brother! (Thou shalt not die) Unchain me, sister! (Thou shalt not fear) Love is with your brother! (Thou shalt not kill) Cry, little sister! (Thou shalt not fall) Come, come to your brother! (Thou shalt not die) Unchain me, sister! (Thou shalt not fear) Love is with your brother! (Thou shalt not kill)
My 2 cents –
This week should be a love song due to valentine’s day. I just don’t feel it. My veiw of love is not something that is easily commercialized. So I went with a movie song redone to be more potent.
They just want your head Moving up and down Up and down Up and down They got inside your head Flip it upside down Upside down Upside down We can feel an order Getting in our way We don’t need the rule of yesterday Breaking down the borders Tearing down the sides Hear this one last time They just want your head Moving up and down Up and down Up and down They got inside your head Flip it upside down Upside down Upside down They just want your head Moving up and down Up and down Up and down They’ve got inside your head Flip it upside down Upside down Upside down Up, up and down Up, up and down Up, up and down Up, up and down Up, up and down Up, up and down Up, up and down Up and down They just want your head Moving up and down Up and down Up and down They got inside your head Flip it upside down Upside down Upside down We can feel an order Getting in our way We don’t need the rule of yesterday Breaking down the borders Tearing down the sides Hear this one last time, time, time, time, time, time, time, time They just want your head Moving up and down Up and down Up and down They got inside your head Flip it upside down Upside down Up and down They just want your head Moving up and down Up and down Up and down They got inside your head Flip it upside down Upside down Upside down We can feel an order Getting in our way We don’t need the rule of yesterday Breaking down the borders Tearing down the sides Hear this one last time
My 2 cents –
21 years ago today I gave birth to my youngest son, though at the time I thought he was my only daughter. He has introduced me to a good bit of the music that I listen to now, though I have always been one with broad taste in music. This song keeps getting stuck in his father’s head….and I am amused by it.
Pattimouse 