First… I did the annual poetry marathon this past weekend. I signed up for the half marathon and I wrote more than I signed up to do. I was rather pleased with that.
Next, Fae corps publishing is in the process of creating – taking on? – an imprint. I don’t have a whole lot I can tell you about it yet… But it’s actually really close to being a thing.
Next, I was invited to try to write a story (Serena) that is for a really interesting anthology. That doesn’t mean that they are going to accept the story. Just that I am allowed to try for the call. It is entirely out of my normal wheelhouse writing wise. I have until November to write it and I have it halfway done. It has been flowing. I am terrified. But I am writing it anyway.
And the last update for the post is that I do realize that I accidentally scheduled the Tuesday Tunes post last week for the wrong time. It went up at six pm instead of six am. I am grateful for your patience. I will try to be more careful this week.
34 felony counts and still allowed to be the republican nominee for president. He cannot even vote but he could be elected president?
40+ Anti trans bills – just in Missouri.
And that was just what filtered through social media.
There was more but I am trying to not bring others down to the level I am finding myself. I don’t like what humanity is becoming.
The urge to become the witch in the woods grows greater with each passing day.
So I have buried myself in books. Reading because I have been unable to write all week. Instead of Artsy fartsy thursday I think I will tell you about the three lovely books I have gotten to read recently.
I just don’t know how to remix the words that I wrote already so perfectly.
Remind me that I have a flaw or ten, so I don’t see the writing as perfection written.
* I am not actually sure if I do write perfectly…. but the prompt today was to remix one of our own poems. I hate remixes in general and I don’t want to do it to my own poetry. I have plans to do a revisiting poetry book but it is mostly going to be a discussion of my own poetry, not the remix.
Perhaps dystopian tales Have it all wrong, The apocalypse will not be Some huge global catastrophe… Instead I think that It is going to be A slow decay of the social Heart and mind.
That has already begun With man no longer caring for The fellow man… The wasteland of the heart Has already started to form With the world not decaying Just falling apart silently From within.
When you feel that rage (When you feel that) When you feel that rage
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’ve been working towards the goal for most our lives Every challenge that we faced, we have survived Our confidence is growing everyday Finally it is our time to reign
Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart And now I know that this is just the start We will fight for everything we are RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) Rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory We will go down in history So come and play with that rage (that rage)
My 2 Cents –
too many people consider Rage as a variety of anger. Rage is so much more. and at the same time is. Rage is unconscious, uncontrollable, the first instinct when we get backed into a corner…. and yes it is anger, but it is also so much more.
I was once told that I should not be angry about the abuse that I suffered… I was told that I should forgive.
Anger is a safety mechanism. forgiving allows you to forget about the pain caused. It means letting go of righteous pain. that righteous pain built me into the person that I am. it made me empathetic, it made me kind, and it made me aware of the people that exist in this world who are going to hurt others.
I spent my birthday awake…for 28 total hours. Awake. Then I crashed and was allowed to sleep for twelve…woke up feeling sick.(not used to that much sleep at any given time.)
So…That was a fun experience. I was surrounded by love..
I even got writing done, and cover creation – though I was told I should not because I will likely not be able to write all the volumes I have covers for now. You know what? I am too old to be told what to do. I will create covers for books till I die. Because I love doing it.
I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze I’m not sure if I should say this, fuck, I’ll say it anyway Everybody tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase I don’t know if it’s a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah
I battle with depression, but the question still remains Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage? And my doctor tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase Yeah, it’s not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?
Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day And it’s probably ’cause my demons simultaneously rage It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular monster
I think I’m going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze Every wall that I knock down is just a wall that I replace I’m in a race against myself, I try to keep a steady pace How the fuck will I escape if I never close my case?
Oh my God, I keep on stressing, every second that I waste Is another second sooner to a blessing I won’t take But my therapist will tell me that I’m going through a stage Yeah, it’s not a fucking stage, I just wanna feel okay, okay
Motherfucker, now you got my attention I need to change a couple things ’cause something is missing And what if I were to lie? Tell you everything is fine Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified
I fell asleep at the wheel again Crashed my car just to feel again It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular fucking monster
Yeah, here we go again, motherfucker, oh We’re sick and tired of wondering Praying to a god that you don’t believe We’re searching for the truth in the lost and found So the question I ask is Oh, where the fuck is your god now?
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m not a popular, popular monster
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster
My 2 Cents –
There is something awful about this process. That loss of faith. In God, In community, In Self. And it is worse when you are being told that there is something wrong with you at the same time. There is not a damn thing wrong with being a monster. Be a monster, be yourself, Be Unique (10 points if you know where that is from)
They say that what you take pictures of is what you see as important. I remember the first camera I had. It was a cheap one that took 35mm film. That excitement of taking pictures…then I paid for development. The disappointment of the pictures were so blurry and disjointed.
It was enough to be a reason why I didn’t take pictures for years. That camera was a painful thing from my teen years. If digital ones had been available I would have figured out how to do more with them, but it was just not a thing. I could have used a Polaroid but they were expensive and I was poor.
So when my youngest child was born my friend bought me a new digital one. I took thousands of pictures of my daughter and her cousin. Babies are so good at looking adorable even if the one holding the camera is not good at the setting up the shot.
That camera was stolen when we had “friends” over for a Christmas dinner. But by that point I had a smart phone. So I kept learning about taking pictures.
Now I still have the random awful picture, but I have learned to accept that I don’t have to be a professional quality photographer. I take pictures of what I want to remember and when I look at the picture I have a memory. Sometimes I even have a good picture.
So, I ask you… what do you photograph? And are you any good at it? Or like me do you just have memories and the occasional good shot?
