No matter how much I do. No matter what I list as my accomplishments.
I refuse to listen. So I have been in defiance doing art and writing.
Though I see it as flawed…my view of my art and writing always says that there is no reason why anyone would like it…
I have purposely not been allowing my inner voice the ability to take control.
It is an actual fight.
Tonight I am winning.
The art above was done tonight.
Echoes is now 65/70 poems
Serena’s Gathered Bones is at 13/70 poems
Kingdoms of sin got another 500 words tonight.
There is a story started for Fae Corps publishing’s Spring anthology.
And I did another digital landscape.
I have still got work that needs done. Things that are sitting on my desk with a needs attention tag on them…but tonight I was in the wrong headspace for editing and for making sure that things looked their best. Tonight I did my best to create.
Because when you are feeling like you are not enough – MAKE MORE! so I did.
And if it is flawed…well some of the best loved things are flawed. that does not make them loved any less.
So Jenny Elliott – Friend, Intern, all around I cannot live without her in my life type person…asked me what the list was for the anthology publication. (The To-do List that is)
I told her it is the same for each book…and I sat and thought about what that means for the anthologies, for my books, and for each book I work with.
I need a front and rear cover to work with.
I need a clean formatted and edited manuscript to work with.
I need a blurb, and an author list.
I need a Release date.
I often am the designer for the covers my company publishes. That makes having them easier. There are a couple of authors that provide their own covers but most just go with the ones I make.
The authors often just send me the written stories. I put in the formatting and edit it as I go. Many of them have the writing edited before I see it, but not all. Formatting is putting in order – Title page, a copyright page, Contents, Chapters, About the Author, About the Publisher.
Some authors write their blurbs, some expect me to write it. Either way, It is not as difficult as writing the entire story. The author list is an obvious thing…
The release date is based on how many others I have in the calendar at a time. The limitation is mostly me. I can only do so many of these at a time.
Okay I have the manuscript…now what? I use Draft2digital, Amazon, Google Play Books all for Ebooks. D2d has the best expanded Distribution. Amazon has the best reach in general. Google….well…why not? I do Not Like D2d’s Print. So for print I use Amazon and Barnes and Nobles press.
Then I have to deal with Marketing. I try to do the same type of images for every book. Do I always manage it? No, not really. I have way too much going on…and often this is where I drop balls. Ideally, I want for each book to do a cover reveal image set. I want to do 3 teaser images. I also want to share an about the author image for each book. Now the last one can be made once and often reshared for multiple books. An Author does not often change their bio. Mine has changed perhaps once a year. Mostly because I have changed where I am focused. Some authors never need to change theirs. I also like to occasionally do “Coming Soon” images…for example….
It’s simple and really only gives the link and the cover. This gives people the urge to go check it out. Then once you have them…spread those images everywhere.
Since I was 17 I’ve always hated my body And it feels like my body’s hated me Can somebody find me a pill To make me un-afraid of me?
Seen every therapist, but I’m a cynical bitch Don’t like to talk about my feelings I take another hit, I find another fake fix ‘Cause it’s easier than healing
I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I’m just scared to be happy
Since I was 22 I’ve been with somebody who loves me And I’ve been tryna believe it’s true But my head always messes up my heart No matter what I do
Seen every therapist, but I’m a cynical bitch Don’t like to talk about my feelings I take another sip, I swear it’s my last fix ‘Cause it’s easier than healing
‘Cause I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I’m just scared to be happy I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I’m just scared to be happy
Maybe I’m just scared to be happy Maybe I’m just scared to be happy
I’m so scared of having something to lose I’m scared of being somebody new I’m so scared of all them seeing the truth ‘Cause right now I’ve got nothing
But I don’t wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I’ll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I’m just scared to be happy
Maybe I’m just scared to be happy (Maybe, yeah) Maybe I’m, I’m scared to be happy
My 2 Cents –
This song has been haunting my playlist consistently for the last month. I wonder if the universe has been dropping me a hint.
So I have started working on Serena’s Gathered Bones.
I have also started working on her Heaven’s Forgotten Tales. Which is basically a gathering of stories and poetry from her that she has published in various places. Much as Apocalypse athenuem is.
I realized that I am writing more – both as Patricia and as Serena Mossgraves. That I am doing a lot more daily work than I used to. So I might actually go through the future volumes I have prepared covers for…
So I am considering doing some covers for the fun of doing the cover design. And I am wondering if I should plan a future volume for Serena as well as for me.
It ends up being a little bit of a question as to whether or not I have been playing with the poetry with her or if she should continue to write it.
He was a- Ya know it He was a- I was walking down the street When out the corner of my eye I saw a pretty little thing approaching me She said, I’ve never seen a man Who looks so all alone Uh, could you use a little company? If you pay the right price Your evening will be nice And you can go and send me on my way I said, “You’re such a sweet young thing Why’d you do this to yourself?” She looked at me and this is what she said “Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked Money don’t grow on trees I got bills to pay I got mouths to feed There ain’t nothing in this world for free I know I can’t slow down I can’t hold back Though you know I wish I could Oh, no there ain’t no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good” Not even 15 minutes later I’m still walking down the street When I saw the shadow of a man creep out of sight And then he swept up from behind He put a gun up to my head He made it clear he wasn’t looking for a fight He said, “Give me all you’ve got I want your money not your life But if you try to make a move, I won’t think twice” I told him, “You can have my cash But first you know I got to ask What made you want to live this kind of life?” He said, “There ain’t no rest for the wicked Money don’t grow on trees I got bills to pay I got mouths to feed There ain’t nothing in this world for free I know I can’t slow down I can’t hold back Though you know, I wish I could Oh no there ain’t no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good” Yeah You know it He was a- You know it He was a- Well, now a couple hours passed And I was sitting at my house The day was winding down and coming to an end And so I turned on the TV And flipped it over to the news And what I saw I almost couldn’t comprehend I saw a preacher man in cuffs He’d taken money from the church He’d stuffed his bank account with righteous dollar bills But even still I can’t say much Because I know we’re all the same Oh yes, we all seek out to satisfy those thr byills You know there ain’t no rest for the wicked Money don’t grow on trees We got bills to pay We got mouths to feed There ain’t nothing in this world for free I know we can’t slow down We can’t hold back, though you know, we wish we could Oh no, there ain’t no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good
My 2 Cents –
This week was a headache day for me on schedule day. So I chose an upbeat song.
If I had only known the last time would be the last time I would’ve put off all the things I had to do I would’ve stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter Now what I’d give for one more day with you ‘Cause there’s a wound here in my heart where something’s missing And they tell me that it’s gonna heal with time But I know you’re in a place where all your wounds have been erased And knowing yours are healed is healing mine The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down Is that the only scars in Heaven are on the hands that hold you now I know the road you walked was anything but easy You picked up your share of scars along the way Oh, but now you’re standing in the sun, you’ve fought your fight and your race is run The pain is all a million miles away The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down Is that the only scars in Heaven, yeah, are on the hands that hold you now Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, for the hands that hold you now There’s not a day goes by that I don’t see you You live on in all the better parts of me Until I’m standing with you in the sun, I’ll fight this fight and this race I’ll run Until I finally see what you can see, oh-oh The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down Is that the only scars in Heaven are on the hands that hold you now
My 2 Cents –
This is the second time I am posting a grief song. This one is based on my daughter’s pet chicken. She went to sleep and didn’t wake up. Poor baby. So this has been a long weekend.
Pattimouse 