Sappy holiday wishes to everyone… yes even you the unloved. You actually aren’t, but especially around the holidays, any and all holidays… it often feels that way. Or it feels like you are unlovable. Either way it means a miserable day as everyone around you speaks of family and loved ones. While you just seem so very alone. If you need someone… don’t be afraid to reach out. Very likely another person you know is alone.
Honestly i dread the time begging around Thanksgiving and ending around Ostara. Not because I don’t enjoy the holiday( even if there is a buttload of them crammed in a four month span). I dread them because the members of my family suddenly expect me to socialize. So it feels forced. I don’t hear from some of them any other time of the year…. most of them don’t have a clue anything about me (likes/ dislikes, etc) but because of some overdone holiday…. eh well i believe you understand. So i end up depressed. I end up questioning everything. Then I end up considering others who maybe feel the same way. Well this year… it resulted in me reaching out. Please if the holiday is too much… call someone. Go see someone. For there is always someone who loves you, whether you realize it or not.
Category: Life
Never give up..
Dreams don’t die, we give up. So if you never give up….eventually you realize those dreams.
Body positivity
This topic is one i fully support. Now understand, even though i am a big girl, it’s all bodies and body types i think we need to be positive of. No one should feel ugly for not fitting a certain body type. Unfortunately, as a society, we fail our children. We teach them to worry about appearance far more than we should. There is starting to be a movement that is helping. Tess Holiday and her #effyourbeautystandards. However many see it as a fat positive movement. While yes it is, it is also about beauty in all forms. It’s about no longer judging anyone based on appearance alone. My daughter is twelve. She is chubby. And so I have had to work hard to have her with a good self esteem. She really is beautiful.
However because of the beauty standards of others, she doesn’t feel like she is. So yes, as a woman, as a mother of a beautiful girl, I really like the body positive movement. Every body has flaws. Every body is beautiful. It’s really all in how you look at it.
Not today dear
I know I should write,
Should create and
share my light.
I should tell my story
For all the world to hear.
Not today dear.
There is laundry
To wash, dry and fold.
There is blog entries
Left to be told.
Poetry I must
Write so well.
Social activity
To lessen my hell.
Not today dear,
Can’t you tell?
Today was just
A wee bit much,
So though there is
A lot of stuff
Requiring me to do….
Not today dear.
Madness is subjective
Life has a funny way of pushing forward, no matter how we want to stop and reevaluate. I have spent a significant portion of my life considering sanity. Afraid of being mad, and trying to prevent that slide into deeper pockets of madness. I joke that I am as sane as I have ever been… but to be honest I am not sure sanity is something that truly exists. I think as a whole the human race has slowly been decending into a state of madness. We put such a stigma on it. Just in America there are millions who suffer….yes millions. a statistics site about mental health. So why do we make these people feel worse for their suffering? I think it’s a form of fear. We fear what similarity we see in them. So we push it away. Instead, we should try to understand that which drives the mind down such different paths.
Individual I
Blending in,
For now everyone
Has the traits
That used to mark me
As unique.
My idiosyncrasies
Are now community,
Nothing new or remarkable
In my mind today.
Was individual,
And even slightly weird,
Now everyone does
What i began.
So now i sit
And slightly sigh.
For looking around,
And dreaming that I
Could return to the time
When I was unique
Just once more.
Parenting & Media
Before I climb any soap box, I am a mother. I am not perfect. I firmly believe each child and each family are different. So even though my daughter is twelve, we allow her some media (movies, shows, music, books and video games) that is probably not “age appropriate .” She is more mature is some areas than others. So if the rating is for violence or vulgarity, I don’t worry about her. Her whole life, I have kept a close rein on what she watched. She has had leeway to choose.
She chooses horror, zombies and anime, hard rock, and rpg(shooter style). We talk to her. She understands that these are not reality. So we do tend to be less restrictive. I try to guide her towards intelligent programs. Towards a love of music that encompasses all music. Towards an open mind where media is concerned. I have succeeded and failed. After all, her father and her friends are influences as well.
The reason i am rambling, there have been a few instances where I have been accused of not being a good parent because I let her watch anime and play certain video games. I believe my child should have a chance to make her own choices ( to an extent). I keep away stuff that is heavily sexual. Blatantly sexual is more than i think she is ready for. I have forbidden only a couple of video games( gta5, south park stick of truth) and I don’t forbid music or books( most books with questionable content are still above her reading interest level for now ).
Very few shows are disallowed( got, banahee…basically stuff you would see on hbo, showtime or cinemax…) and it’s only if sex is open and blatant. Mind you not all kids are as mature as her. Some see violent or scary and have nightmares. She does not.
Really parenting is as much about knowing what will and will not be appropriate for your child as it is teaching them how to live. People who take their kids and let them watch a movie then complain about the content just ruin it for everyone. Know your kids, and be aware of what you are letting them be exposed to. It’s not that hard.
Homeless
There’s room at the inn,
But I have no money to pay.
The world is cold tonight,
And I have no place to stay.
No I am not lazy,
Nor too awful crazy.
Things just really have not
Been going my way.
My stomach is a growling,
My head has been a spinning,
Yet not a bite can I find
For me to eat.
No jobs available for me to find,
Want a hand up?
must be outta my mind.
There’s room at the inn,
But I’ve no money to pay.
Distorted imagery
You see me
As internet celebrity,
With no sign of lifestyle
Truth in chains.
Not one person
Really knowing me,
Hidden behind an easy profile.
According to you,
Written with naught
But imagination and lies.
Could it be?
that it’s you who
doesn’t see?
Who does not know
The real me?
quietly hiding,
From what you never
Tried to see.
Deeply imbedded
Within us.
Music
Before i start down this road, let me explain. My music tastes are eclectic, in the extreme. I really am all over the spectrum. I listen to classical, country, rock, pop, jazz, reggae, hip-hop, even the occasional rap song. Although i do take moods where i pick a genre or theme. I am always looking for new songs to listen to.
Now that being said there is some amazing music out. I was looking tonight into “girl power ” songs. Sarah maclachlan, Kelly Clarkson, halestorm…etc. I am knocked speechless by the way some of the songs that i find speak my life so clearly. As a writer I wonder if it means everything i can imagine has already been done. However there is peace in knowing someone out there understands….
Pattimouse 