I am taking a break from coffee house writers. This is my last post there for a while. Though there are some awesome writing on there, and I have quite a few friends on there… I felt like this last poem should stand alone. Please continue to read the work there. The writers are doing some amazing work.
The last two years have been so busy. And I am finding it hard to keep up. When I started with Coffee house writer’s I was easily able to keep up with the schedule I was on. But I have since started doing more here and with Fae Corps. We are doing more in Fae Corps. I am floundering under the weight of the responsibility… So I have made a decision. I am leaving Chw for now. I have already told my wonderful editor. There will be one more post next Monday. Then… I think that I will try to post here more. I am hoping that releasing one responsibility will ease the burden of the rest.
Lost Within by Fivefold
Crawl out of the hole you’re in
Who you are is not who you’ve been
Now’s the time to sink or swim
Will you fight the tide or get lost within
And I know you’re feeling low
Feel like you’ve lost control
But the darkness that you know
It’s not your home and you’re not alone
And all you’ve wanted was just so much more
This world has taken ahold
Don’t let ’em get your soul
The silence
You feel it cold as a winter storm
This world has taken ahold
Don’t let ’em get your soul
Iron bars are hell to break
Tell me now, do you know what’s at stake?
Your whole life in a blank stare haze
You walk around like the end of days
And I know you’re feeling low
Feel like you’ve lost control
But the darkness that you know
It’s not your home and you’re not alone
And all you’ve wanted was just so much more
This world has taken ahold
Don’t let ’em get your soul
The silence
You feel it cold as a winter storm
This world has taken ahold
Don’t let ’em get your soul
I’m callin’ out to you
Can you hear me?
They can’t break you down
Let you hit the ground
I promise you it won’t be long (Won’t be long)
You’re feeling overwhelmed here
Drowned by the pain and the fear
The sun will come with the dawn
All you’ve wanted was just so much more
This world has taken ahold
Don’t let ’em get your soul
The silence
You feel it cold as a winter storm
This world has taken ahold
Don’t let ’em get your soul…
Get your soul…
My 2Cents –
Though this song sounds like it is about being depressed, And it most certainly is, I feel like it is about picking yourself back up when you are depressed. I have been here, and it feels impossible. then it doesn’t. Somehow you just survive, and you don’t know how you did it. but you did.
They tell you to price for your time and the cost of the materials. I am not good at such things. Putting a price for my art… It’s not that easy. I broke even, after making changes to the prices. Etsy is not a good reference. So I faced my anxiety. I sold enough to break even, with it cold enough to freeze out.
I am calling it a win. It was not the complete landslide sale I was hoping for. But I did not come back with my tail between my legs, broken, either.
Sometimes you take the small win.
Hello Lovelies! Today I am drinking some lovely peach tea. What will you have?
There is a lot to announce!
First off, one of my art pieces that I submitted to Indie Blu(e)’s Through The Looking Glass: Reflecting on Madness and Chaos Within was accepted! I will try to keep you updated on that as I know more. I am so excited as their books are so pretty. I submitted to that and to But You Don’t Look Sick …I have not yet heard about But you don’t look sick. Again, updates as I have them. *Edit: I finished writing this and scheduled it. Then I went to check my email, only to find the acceptance letter in the email I will have 4 poems in that anthology.
Next, Serena finished writing Madness and Truth. It has been through the alpha readers and is handed off to the editor currently. The story is creepy and carries a good haunted feel to it. I expect that we will be publishing it some time in 2021.
I have finished writing Afraid of Shoe Mountain and am currently working on the illustrations. Though I love Shannon’s Illustrations, and will likely hold Dylan and the Hotel Zombie until she can do the art, I am not wanting to continue to wait with Afraid of Shoe Mountain. I am enjoying the illustration of this book. I have been uploading them to DeviantArt for those who are interested. (I only have 2 finished so far).
I am nearly done with the writing for Heart Drops, and Half-Mad Meanderings. Serena has been working hard on Death Becomes Her. Half-Mad Meanderings is only 5 poems away from done. Heart drops 2 art and 7 poems away. And Serena says she still needs 20 poems for Death Becomes Her. Likely all three will be released in 2021.
Circle City Publishing is nearly ready to release their An Absurd Apocalypse that will have Serena’s Flash story in it. I do not know how much longer that will be. I will let you know more as I do.
Fae Corps Inc is going to release Faery Playground with my art and a story from Serena in May. The tone of the submissions had the cover needing redone. They plan to reveal the cover on April First (No Joke!). It has been a fun anthology to edit if I am honest. I am looking personally for 2 ARC reviewers. (ARC reviewers are readers who, for an advanced copy post an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads. )
Well, I think I am finally done with the updates! whew! That was a lot!
Oh! and I am considering adding a store to my blog. I make jewelry and Resin pieces that I need to find a place to sell. I am going in April to the local flea market, but I like the online store idea better. My studio is very nearly set up. So the next focus is a storefront. Watch here for more information.
Contemplating Reiko is a fun comic that rides a little on the dark side. It is mostly done in single page comics that rarely are sequential. I have spent hours reading the back comics and laughing my tail off.
According to the about page on the site ‘Contemplating Reiko is a wicked little cartoon strip about a wicked little girl named Reiko and her three sisters Shinobu, Shirabe, and Shihoka. ‘ I remember reading this comic as far back as 21 years ago. it has always been such a delight to read. The characters are very demonic, so the themes are evil. I personally enjoy Reiko and her antics.
So, tell me, what webcomics, if any, do you follow?
I am open for commissions and I have various places that You could hire me. Book covers, editing, pencil drawings, poetry, or even Tarot Readings… I am open. Paypal, Ko-Fi, or Cashapp. I still have a Patreon as well.
Today has been me hiding with a migraine. I peeked at social media to be surprised by a blast from the past. A young man who has been like a son to me shared this picture of me and my oldest son. My eldest is currently estranged because someone told him lies about me, and he believed them. So I have been heartbroken about it since thanksgiving… The picture was such a nice thing, even if he is not speaking to me. It reminded me of a time when he trusted me unconditionally.
I made a silly list of goals…on facebook. I’ll place it here in the post. Then I will tell you about it.
Okay… Goals for this week :Of which I am hoping to finish at least half of :
1. Assembly of a polished poetry volume for fcp’s newest author
2. Edits on the submissions for faery playground.
3.podcast interview with Destiny Constantin
4. Writing on afraid of shoe mountain – with hopes of finishing this year.
5. Reorganization of Bedtime Tales : the princess lost.
6. Laundry and reorganization of my own clothes.
7. Actually pretending that I am an adult….
8. Writing poetry for half-mad meanderings and heart drops.
9. art!
10. Getting the craft room organization started.
11. Work on the kingdoms of sin
12. Work on life, guilt, and undeath
13. edit Dylan and the hotel zombie
14. Doodles for my girl Red’s Lily Doodles
15. Art with my Angel.
16.Dungeon planning for d&d
17. Zombie killing in 7d2d
18. Therapy
19. Finish the story for fae shivers
20. Kitchen witchery
21. Fix the stupid printer
22. Share the shit out of a few posts pertaining to books that I want to support.
23. Clean old cans out of the pantry
24. Drink more water
25. Figure out what to post about this Thursday and Friday on my personal blog
26.enjoy the thought that people like my work.
27. Watercolor painting
28. Smile at least once a day.
29. Listen to music for no real reason.
30. Make lists to amuse myself, and then try to do everything from the list even though the list is waaaay too long
I accomplished more than I expected. The podcast airs tomorrow. Afraid of Shoe Mountain is written. It is going through the edits, and the polish that the best books deserve. The Princess Lost is available for preorder, going live on March First. Ivor Steven’s Poetry volume Tullawalla is also available for preorder, going live March 31st. Obviously I did not get today or tomorrow done ahead. I have not gotten my edits completed…but I have gotten it started. I will be sending those edits back next week. I got the pantry and the printer done. I have doodled, I arted…And in all I figured out that I am doing something each day that progresses my goals. Still I am having days that I can’t do. I have to accept with grace that I cannot do everything I want to, and keep moving forward on the goals so that I eventually manage everything that I want to do.
What goals do you have that you want to manage soon and what is your limits?
Lyrics-
Smoke a little weed, smoke a little weed
I’ve been feelin’ low
Pressure in my head, lay awake in bed
I’m against the rose
Been tryin’ to recover but nothin’ i do works
‘Cause hidin’ under the covers is only makin’ it worse
I’m stuck
Think this is growin’ up
Too much is on my mind, always on my mind
Need a little space
Spend my days alone, can’t get off my phone
Nothing goes my way
Miss all of my friends and barely can file my taxes
I’m halfway through my twenties
Like, how the hell did this happen?
I’m stuck
My life is in a rut
And i’ve been hopin’ these doors might open
And i’ll be running from this place, free
Constant pacing; this time, i’m wasting
I can’t control these emotions in me
Growin’ up
I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough
Always tryna seem like i’m okay
I’m growin’ up
Whatever that means, anyway
I don’t know enough
I’m just growin’ up
Girlfriend wanna chill, girlfriend wanna chill
I’ve been workin’ late
I don’t got no time, workin’ all the time
Too much on my plate
And i don’t wanna fail, i’m bringin’ myself stress
I can’t sit on my sofa, i’m lost and depressed
And stuck
I can’t say that enough
Anxiety is high, i can’t even lie
I’m not doin’ great
Dishes in the sink, think i need a drink
They gon’ have to wait
Stay inside my room that now’s become a prison
I hate these four walls, but only feel safe in ’em
I’m stuck
But no one gives a fuck
And i’ve been hopin’ these doors might open
And i’ll be running from this place, free
Constant pacing; this time, i’m wasting
I can’t control these emotions in me
Growin’ up
I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough
Always tryna seem like i’m okay
I’m growin’ up
Whatever that means, anyway
I don’t know enough
I’m just growin’ up
Growin’ up
I think i’ve seen better days, it’s gettin’ tough
Always tryna seem like i’m okay
I’m growin’ up
Whatever that means, anyway
I don’t know enough
I’m just growin’ up
Growin’ up
My 2 Cents –
Well here lately I have been wondering who made me a grown up? I am struggling with responsibility and the urge to just have fun…so I really related to this one. I can’t imagine with the last year being the way it has that I am alone. so my song choice reflects it. It is ok to feel like you want to have fun, just don’t let it make you do something stupid.
Pattimouse 