After midnight,
Staring out the window.
Softly drifting white,
Covering all within my sights.
Hesitant to enjoy
Such a coldly pretty view,
For fear of embracing
Even something new.
Soft snoring emanating
From yet a few feet away,
Reminding me only
Of tomorrow’s busy day.
Asleep, should i be
Not starting through
A quiet, cold night,
Wondering what i might
Begin to plan and make.
Okay I have put this one on hold. And that is because it isn’t an easy topic. I survived. And I am far from the only one. So It isn’t a topic I feel comfortable with. It’s not a topic anyone should feel comfortable with.
Before I get any farther into this topic…. if you are being abused, get help. If you are feeling suicidal because of all you have suffered call
1 (800) 273-8255. It’s a hotline.
There are so many forms of abuse. And there is even forms of self abuse. As I really don’t want to go too far into most of them for the possibly triggering effects it can have on those reading this.
The thing about abuse is though it can take many forms, it always has the same effects. Damage to the mind and body and souls of those who are abused. The survivors often feel alone and anxious. Please if you have survived…know you aren’t alone.
Yes, i plan to finish the “B” topics…. but I finished my list so I felt like posting it.
Candy
Cats
Cartoons
Class
Coping
Crafting
Chores
Children
Chastity, charity and other esoteric ideas
Comic books, and strips
Community
I see sisters in much the same way. And Btw this is my sister writing the blog this is from.
Well this is an odd thing for me. I often ramble. And I tend to use my blog for two reasons…. either to rant or to “advertise” my writing. So I probably am an odd duck on here. I do not follow the normal way of things. My writing follows language rules and grammar rules. However I am not one to follow the rules of what is politically correct. I by my nature am terminally blunt. That tends to come out in my writing…
My blog has taken a bit more random feel as i am trying to write on prespecified topics as well. I enjoy comments because it feels like someone is interested in what I have to say. Since I have started doing this blog I have found a reason to write more than I did before. And I feel guilty if I am unable to write that day.(usually I end up finding a way. I can’t sleep until I manage it).
Sappy holiday wishes to everyone… yes even you the unloved. You actually aren’t, but especially around the holidays, any and all holidays… it often feels that way. Or it feels like you are unlovable. Either way it means a miserable day as everyone around you speaks of family and loved ones. While you just seem so very alone. If you need someone… don’t be afraid to reach out. Very likely another person you know is alone.
Honestly i dread the time begging around Thanksgiving and ending around Ostara. Not because I don’t enjoy the holiday( even if there is a buttload of them crammed in a four month span). I dread them because the members of my family suddenly expect me to socialize. So it feels forced. I don’t hear from some of them any other time of the year…. most of them don’t have a clue anything about me (likes/ dislikes, etc) but because of some overdone holiday…. eh well i believe you understand. So i end up depressed. I end up questioning everything. Then I end up considering others who maybe feel the same way. Well this year… it resulted in me reaching out. Please if the holiday is too much… call someone. Go see someone. For there is always someone who loves you, whether you realize it or not.
Dreams don’t die, we give up. So if you never give up….eventually you realize those dreams.
This topic is one i fully support. Now understand, even though i am a big girl, it’s all bodies and body types i think we need to be positive of. No one should feel ugly for not fitting a certain body type. Unfortunately, as a society, we fail our children. We teach them to worry about appearance far more than we should. There is starting to be a movement that is helping. Tess Holiday and her #effyourbeautystandards. However many see it as a fat positive movement. While yes it is, it is also about beauty in all forms. It’s about no longer judging anyone based on appearance alone. My daughter is twelve. She is chubby. And so I have had to work hard to have her with a good self esteem. She really is beautiful.
However because of the beauty standards of others, she doesn’t feel like she is. So yes, as a woman, as a mother of a beautiful girl, I really like the body positive movement. Every body has flaws. Every body is beautiful. It’s really all in how you look at it.
I know I should write,
Should create and
share my light.
I should tell my story
For all the world to hear.
Not today dear.
There is laundry
To wash, dry and fold.
There is blog entries
Left to be told.
Poetry I must
Write so well.
Social activity
To lessen my hell.
Not today dear,
Can’t you tell?
Today was just
A wee bit much,
So though there is
A lot of stuff
Requiring me to do….
Not today dear.
Life has a funny way of pushing forward, no matter how we want to stop and reevaluate. I have spent a significant portion of my life considering sanity. Afraid of being mad, and trying to prevent that slide into deeper pockets of madness. I joke that I am as sane as I have ever been… but to be honest I am not sure sanity is something that truly exists. I think as a whole the human race has slowly been decending into a state of madness. We put such a stigma on it. Just in America there are millions who suffer….yes millions. a statistics site about mental health. So why do we make these people feel worse for their suffering? I think it’s a form of fear. We fear what similarity we see in them. So we push it away. Instead, we should try to understand that which drives the mind down such different paths.
Pattimouse 