Tag: pictures

Smile…

For the ones that follow me on Facebook, I just changed my profile picture back to this one. It is a good picture, in my opinion. But I had a good friend tell me I should smile more… I am far prettier when I smile…. well I am smiling in this picture. But it doesn’t reach my eyes. Because I was nervous when I took the picture, the smile is a plastic thing. Forced for the picture. My grandma Ethel used to tell me that she hated my pictures because the smile never reached my eyes. This picture fits that discription.

I don’t want to be pretty. I don’t care if anyone sees me as such. However it was bugging me that she said that I should smile, as I was smiling. That is when I remembered what Grandma said. I still think it’s a good picture. I feel like I am androgynous in it. Which I love. I don’t really understand a lot about gender and the binary of it. But I don’t have to. I can be comfortable with myself and not really understand what I am.

Throwback Thursday

I don’t usually do pictures of my self here. I usually stick with my art and go…. But I feel like this is the best way of expressing my thoughts here. Each of them are pictures of me at the various stages of life. Picture is child… I think that I was 2? Maybe 3. I had no thought of the future… It was all about living and playing. Picture #2 is my senior year. I made the jewelry I was wearing. I saw everything I wanted in life become impossible. I worked so hard just to find out that life was unfair. I didn’t see myself reaching 30…and I was beyond over caring. I couldn’t go to college. I couldn’t get custody of my son… Life was sucking, but I didn’t care because I could survive. I had friends and family. I was incredibly oblivious and it worked. Picture #3 I was in my early 30’s… I had a toddler. That is the best picture of that time in my life. I was out thousands of miles from home, stuck in what seemed the most foriegn land I would ever know. I had made it… Now what did I do. I was healing my mind and raising my girl. I think that I spent the next few years just asking myself what now. How does one plan for an age they never expected to reach? And when they do, how do you find that steady point? Picture #4…that is 4 years ago. My life is in chaos. That is the year I decided to start a blog. I published more, that is the year two of my kids books and another poetry volume was released. It was the beginning of another chapter in my weird story. I don’t want to put another picture here because I don’t feel like I am in another era for me. I am in my crone phase, and I think that I am rocking it. I am growing. Each day I learn.

When I started with the whole blog thing I was really green. Now I watch my following grow daily. I only hope it is because you are enjoying the content. Thank you for seeing me! Btw Friday will be prompts again and I am hoping to do the monthly links post on Saturday. I am just over 350 following. At 500 I will do a drawing for a hand written or unique drawing from me. Till tomorrow.