Remind me
By Patricia Harris
I just don’t know how
to remix the words
that I wrote already
so perfectly.
Remind me that I have
a flaw or ten,
so I don’t see the writing
as perfection written.
* I am not actually sure if I do write perfectly…. but the prompt today was to remix one of our own poems. I hate remixes in general and I don’t want to do it to my own poetry. I have plans to do a revisiting poetry book but it is mostly going to be a discussion of my own poetry, not the remix.
Thanksgiving has always been a large feast of a meal for me.
I spend days ahead cooking.
Sometimes traditions change.
The last couple of years have been bad because I have not been able to do the big meal. So I am doing it again this year. With minor changes.
We have to adapt to changes or they will wipe us away.
One of the Changes for me is the inability to make my favorite dishes. We have several Diabetics at the table so making so many desserts is a bad idea. Since I cannot make it, I wonder what recipes you are making, or cannot make.
This year I cannot make my banana pudding.
So I am going to drop the holiday thing.
Yes I realize it is really early for this… but I kinda am in the mood for the conversation.
We do yule. It is a wonderful thing where we celebrate the time together more than anything else. Yes we do presents but we don’t make it a big deal. Most of my gifts to my daughter have been homemade for years. I try to get the rest of the family something that will make them smile.
So much of the people end up feeling like they have to go into debt to get the best gift for the holiday thing… for me the best thing about the holidays is that I get to see some of my family that are too far away to see otherwise.
Today I was trying to get work done. It seems like whenever I sit down to do work…well that is when everyone wants my attention. Normally it does not bother me…I multitask and get everything I can done. Today however it had me snapping. I have since apologized to those who I was cranky with. But it got me thinking.
Why was I so quick to snap?
Well, I have publishing deadlines approaching. I am also getting ready for a trip out of town. (A rare treat as my Mom is coming to get me and my daughter for a mini Vacation to her place.) Then I have invited friends over for a fourth of July cookout…And so I have to plan for that…I am rearranging my house and cleaning as I go. My dishwasher broke and I have to prepare for the installation crew with the new one. Summer is almost here and I have yet to spend any time in my art studio…My legs have been achy…People, in general, have been irritating me more than usual…
Yeah, that is all my excuses. Well, I could probably come up with a few more. But I don’t make a habit of Lying…Even to myself. So I had to face the real reason why Patti has been cranky today. I really did not want to do anything other than sit at my computer and work on the projects I wanted to work on. I wanted to be alone, crank up my music, and work on making books exist. Either by formatting or by writing or editing. I really did not care. I wanted to forget that people exist because then I would be able to forget the cruelty we people do to each other. I would be able to forget the idea that peaceful existence is a dream…a hope that is too often dashed.
I could forget that this world is so awful that eighteen-year-olds want to kill and die.
I could forget that there are so many people who cannot seem to accept the mere safe existence of people who are different. That people feel the need to hate. To fear. And often what humans hate and fear – They kill.
I could for at least a short time forget that women’s rights are at this very moment about to be thrown back in time to the 1950s.
I could for a few minutes just enjoy what I am doing and not worry about my children in this world. This world is where hate and fear are more prevalent than love and kindness.
I could forget that there are those who would have me locked away because I am different. There are those who would speak over me…simply because what I say is nothing that they want to hear.
So when I feel like my voice is being stolen I GET LOUD.
So since I am aware that I am Snappy because I wanted to hide – GUESS WHAT?!
Consider this your Warning. I am about to get VOCAL. I Am about to get loud. I have been more or less leaving my opinions off of my social media. I tame myself because I feel like that is not going to help my books sell.
But I will no longer bite my tongue just to watch it bleed. My opinions are a part of me.
I really don’t see the reason why automatic Rifles are necessary. I can accept handguns (self defense) and shotgun or regular rifles (hunting) but I don’t see a reason why automatic rifles are not being made harder to get ahold of…the only use of AR weapons is killing people..
Life has been hitting hard for me lately. I had to move out of my home, my life is in chaos. It will stabilize but it will take time. So I am looking at my options. I have been considering making my blog a paid one, so I could add a shop to sell some of the cute Jewelry and other crafts I make. I also am thinking about the other benefits…And I realize that I am looking at this with two blogs possible and debating. I can only do one paid right now. I have more readers here then on the Fae Corps Blog, even though I maintain both. I may see about combining them. Making it work that way…But I want to get your opinions. Should I combine the two blogs? Expand and make it bigger and better, hopefully. or should I choose one to go paid with?
I will not be able until the first to do it, so chime in with your opinion. I am also about to ask my partner and our marketing girl. So it is not just a random ask. I am looking at options.
So I was having an email conversation with a friend about social media. He was pointing out the algorithm that sucks the orginality out of social media in general. While I agree with him and sometimes I think that I would be happier without the view of humanity that I recieve from reading the interwebs, I would miss the delight of seeing the creativity in the human soul.
The conversation ended with the idea that we both often feel unseen. It is not, I am sure, a novel feeling. To feel like instead of being actually heard… You are merely sending echoes into the void.
So I think that I want to hear the echoes…tell me something that you feel like isn’t being heard. One thing that you want to say. I will listen. And then go through the comments and hear others. Or pass the post on to others. Let’s get it to where no one feels like that echo.
Lyrics – A distant lullaby, dying from my sight
A glow is amiss, fleeting from my side
Oh why, oh why
Alone in a cruel world
Leaves me
Cold and curled
But then
Friends
Warmth
Eyes that gleam
A glow returns once more it seems
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
I want fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared like you
Just like you
Soft lullabies, never leave my side
Glowing warm fur and gleaming round eyes
Isolated no more
My friends
Don’t struggle there is no point
You’ll never be alone
From now
Friends
Warmth
Never leave
Struggling only make the hugs much tighter
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
Fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared like you
Just like you
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
Fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared
Like you
My 2 cents- I am new to this song. I was drawing a blank as to the song to pick today… There are just so many good options… So I asked my 16 year old to suggest a song. Now mind you, she is where I go to for new music. Her tastes tend to run the gauntlet, but she usually suggests songs that I fall in love with. She appears to have chosen a Gothic tune to share this time. I love the melody and the lyrics are really good.
So since I got today’s song from her… I ask you, what song would you want to share with me?
Lyrics –
[Instrumental Intro]
[Verse 1]
I can’t remember anything
Can’t tell if this is true or a dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This terrible silence stops with me
Now that the war is through with me
I’m waking up, I cannot see
That there’s not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now
[Chorus]
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, wake me
[Verse 2]
Back in the womb it’s much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But can’t look forward to reveal
Look to the time when I’ll live
Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me
[Chorus]
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, wake me
[Short Instrumental Break]
[Chorus]
Now the world is gone, I’m just one
Oh, God help me
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, help me
[Instrumental Break]
[Verse 3]
Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see, absolute horror
I cannot live, I cannot die
Trapped in myself, body my holding cell
Landmine has taken my sight
Taken my speech, taken my hearing
Taken my arms, taken my legs
Taken my soul, left me with life in Hell
[Instrumental Outro]
My 2 cents –
This song always resonated with me and brought up the futility of war. Dying for a cause that is not your own. A pacifist at heart, I am well aware that there are causes worth standing up for, I just think that most things can be handled without violence. I can also empathize with the young man in the song. It is all too easy to feel trapped inside one’s self. To feel like no one hears what you are saying. For the time period that the song was released in, this song was incredible. It had so much more of a deep thought process than most realize.
Pattimouse 