Tag: Mental Health

Tuesday Tunes

Bebe Rexha – I’m a Mess

Lyrics –

Everything’s been so messed up here lately
Pretty sure he don’t wanna be my baby
Oh, he don’t love me, he don’t love me
He don’t love me, he don’t love me
But that’s okay
‘Cause I love me, yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love myself anyway
Hey Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be okay
It’s gonna be a good, good, life
That’s what my therapist say
Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new Nobody shows up unless I’m paying
Have a drink on me cheers to the failing
Oh, he don’t love me, he don’t love me
He don’t love me, he don’t love me
But that’s okay
‘Cause I love me, yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love myself anyway
Hey Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be okay
It’s gonna be a good, good life
That’s what my therapist say
Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new Everything’s gonna be alright, alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine, just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new

My 2 cents – I feel like this song is so relatable. everyone feels like a mess on occasion. Some of us feel like more mess than right. So if today you are a mess…just turn the music up and let Bebe Sing your feelings for you.

Tuesday Tunes

Rihanna – Stay

Lyrics – All along it was a fever
A cold sweat hot-headed believer
I threw my hands in the air, said, “Show me something”
He said, “If you dare, come a little closer”
Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
It’s not much of a life you’re living
It’s not just something you take it’s given
Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ’cause I need this hole gone
Well, funny you’re the broken one
But I’m the only one who needed saving
‘Cause when you never see the light
It’s hard to know which one of us is caving
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay, stay
I want you to stay, hooh

My 2 cents – this song speaks of longing for company, of loneliness. Right now I feel like this is a relevant and relatable feeling. It is a scary time for all of us, globally. Pandemic and isolation…it’s just a level of panic and uncertainty that has a lot of us disabled.

Please, even if you are having issues, try to stay in until this is under control. Isolation is the world’s best shot right now. Stay home and stay safe.

Echoes Into the Void

So I was having an email conversation with a friend about social media. He was pointing out the algorithm that sucks the orginality out of social media in general. While I agree with him and sometimes I think that I would be happier without the view of humanity that I recieve from reading the interwebs, I would miss the delight of seeing the creativity in the human soul.

The conversation ended with the idea that we both often feel unseen. It is not, I am sure, a novel feeling. To feel like instead of being actually heard… You are merely sending echoes into the void.

So I think that I want to hear the echoes…tell me something that you feel like isn’t being heard. One thing that you want to say. I will listen. And then go through the comments and hear others. Or pass the post on to others. Let’s get it to where no one feels like that echo.

Tuesday Tunes

Bebe Rexha – Gonna Show you Crazy

Lyrics – There’s a war inside my head
Sometimes I wish that I was dead, I’m broken
So I call this therapist
And she said, “Girl, you can’t be fixed, just take this.”
I’m tired of trying to be normal
I’m always over-thinking
I’m driving myself crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
And I don’t need your quick fix
I don’t want your prescriptions
Just ’cause you say I’m crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’ve been searching city streets
Trying to find the missing piece like you said
And I say child don’t need to find
There’s not a single thing that’s wrong with my mind
Yeah, I’m tired of tryna be normal
I’m always over-thinking
Driving myself crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
And I don’t need your quick fix
I don’t want your prescriptions
Just ’cause you say I’m crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you
(I’m gonna show you)
Crazy, crazy, yeah I’m gonna show you
Crazy, crazy, yeah I’m gonna show you
Crazy, crazy
Tired of tryna be normal
I’m driving myself crazy
And I don’t need your quick fix
I don’t want your prescriptions
Just ’cause you say I’m crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?!
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you
Yeah, I’m gonna show you

My 2 cents – I feel this song. So much. I have been fighting mental illness my whole life. I was misdiagnosed when I was younger, and the meds for the diagnosed disorder were not good for me. I ended up hallucinating, or lethargic. Added to the symptoms I already have… Well I was miserable. And I had a hard time getting doctors to hear me. So I often felt like I was crazy, and it was not a good thing. I think that we sometimes celebrate crazy with out helping it. It’s become cool to be out of your mind. Except for if you really are.

Tuesday Tunes

Au/Ra – Ghost

Lyrics –

[Intro]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)

[Verse 1]
Today I’m kinda feelin’ like a ghost
Call my friends but ain’t nobody home
Tell myself I’m fine but I don’t really know
I’m just scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone
I never let it show
But I feel like a missed call on a phone
Tryna live my life, pay-as-you-go
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Verse 2]
You know I never meant to cut you off
Got phantom feelings I can never solve
Stranger things to worry ’bout, I know
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’llghost

up alone

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t see myself in the mirror
Does that mean I’m not really here?
I’m losin’ touch with everything I know
And I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Bridge]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
You know I’m like a ghost
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, you know I’m like a ghost)
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’ll be alright, I know
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’m just scared that I’ll end up alone
(Ooh, ooh)

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

My 2 cents –

I honestly thought about a holiday song… But not everyone celebrates the same holiday. So I found a song that I feel reflects how many feel during this time of year. The artist has a wonderful voice and you really feel the loneliness in the song. I often feel like a ghost, unseen. That is the result of having a chronic illness. I often end up with only my family as company because I am too ill to go out. And then anxiety adds to it. If you are feeling like a ghost… You are not as alone as you feel. Reach out. Message me (patti.mouse@gmail). I will always chat with anyone who feels alone.

Tuesday Tunes

Au/Ra – Ghost

Lyrics –
[Intro]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)

[Verse 1]
Today I’m kinda feelin’ like a ghost
Call my friends but ain’t nobody home
Tell myself I’m fine but I don’t really know
I’m just scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone
I never let it show
But I feel like a missed call on a phone
Tryna live my life, pay-as-you-go
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Verse 2]
You know I never meant to cut you off
Got phantom feelings I can never solve
Stranger things to worry ’bout, I know
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t see myself in the mirror
Does that mean I’m not really here?
I’m losin’ touch with everything I know
And I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Bridge]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
You know I’m like a ghost
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, you know I’m like a ghost)
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’ll be alright, I know
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’m just scared that I’ll end up alone
(Ooh, ooh)

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost



My 2 cents –
During this time of year,  something happens. For so many of us the holidays are a struggle. We end up feeling isolated. I know that not everyone who reads this is in winter right now,  but it is still valid even during the other seasons. If you feel unseen or isolated… Reach out. There is always someone who will listen.


There is no shame in needing help. You are not a ghost… Even if you feel like one.

Coffee House – the War Within

Today I have a poem about mental illness up on Coffee house.

http://coffeehousewriters.com/war-within/

Go check it out and tell me what you think.

Random thoughts of poetry.

Now I normally don’t do this. I don’t explain my poetry, or my art, because I think that most people see what they want to in anything creative. I feel like explanation ruins a piece. To be honest this post is not entirely an explanation… But rather an aside. I have been thinking a lot lately about accountability. About guilt and mistakes. About what I am responsible for in my life and what regrets I should have and what it all means.

I have thought about the regrets that others have expressed towards me. I find that I have very few actual regrets. Each of my choices I made with all of the knowledge that I had at the time. I have revisited some of them later… And hindsight makes regret easy… If you let it.

The problem comes in when you allow regret to consume your conscience. We are as a society, cold. We have lost the conscience. We have lost the knowledge of good and evil, or the will to care. When prison actually looks better than trying to make your way in this miserable world…lives of others no longer matter. That is not a mental illness thing… It is a wake up call.

We have a society where you can work 60+ hours a week and still not be able to afford to pay rent. We live in a society where there is often no way of breaking even, much less getting ahead. Where hate and violence is broadcast nightly on the news. So I have to wonder how we as a society can fix this? How can we take responsibility for the problem and fix it?