Tag: Life

Tuesday talk

These are my front gardening beds. I have a rather large lot to work with, however I am having to take it a step at a time. This is the before shots. I think that I will post more about my gardening effort this year. Last year we didn’t have the tools we needed so much of what we planted failed.

This year we acquired a tiller, and good looking seedlings from the local farmers market.

We are doing an indoor garden, which I will probably talk about in another post.

This year we are planting peppers(Carolina Reaper, ghost, habanero, jalapeno, sweet banana, yellow and green bell), Tomatoes (bigboy, Cherokee purple, grape) and cucumber (straight eight, pickling). We have corn seed for if we can get some of the other area clear. Time and energy will be the deciding factor.

I am looking forward to gardening and the results. Fresh veggies. Yummy!

names and random bits of fluff

ok i met a gorgeous child who had the unfortunate nature of being named “lovely”. I cannot imagine naming a child such a name. i collect unusual names, but that will never make the list as it is not a name to me. I love names and their meanings, i find them to be amazing when a child has a great name. I wanted to name my first son Lance Orion. Mom said it was a cabbage patch name, but i liked it. instead I named him Nicholas james. My middle child was going to be Nathaniel Robert, but i felt it would be unfair to him to have two names as i had to give him up for adoption. His parents named him Nathan Robert, so I feel it was his name all along. My girl I named Gabrielle Arianna. I am not sure there could have been any other name for her. I never have liked my own name. I want to change it to Serenity Rose. I wonder if others have thoughts on there names?

memory lane and its potholes

found a 80’s site today. made me nostalgic. for me that is always dangerous. i remember working the summers during the 80’s. i worked on a tobacco farm for an old man who wanted to see what was in the jeans i always wore. i had a friend who worked with me. i wonder where she is now. I had a love affair with hair bands, and at the time i had a figure. i remember running away from home. I hitched from LaPlata Maryland to my cousins place in Alexandria Virginia. I was twelve and had no idea what kind of danger i put myself in. I remember being flattered when the guy who picked me up thought i was nineteen and was flirting with me. I was so unafraid of the world outside. there was nothing there that could be worse than what i lived with. I kind of want back the innocence i had then. I was not as afraid of walking where i needed to go. i carried a butterfly and i knew how to use it. Joe was so frightened for me when i started seeing him, as i was unafraid of going out for a walk at 3am or whenever. I had lived in Alexandria. I was used to walking in an area with a very high crime rate. I am in some ways sorry i let his fears scare me. I know he worries because he cares. but i miss being unafraid to leave home without a reason. i want the stability of a home, but i am a bit of a kin to the westward wind on occasion. i need to stretch and fly. as i said am pondering the past. makes me feel old. I have lived 32 years. i have in those 32 years lived several lifetimes. I have worked on a farm, i am mother to three children. I have survived several bad situations, i have looked down the barrel of a gun and felt no fear. I told him to shoot. not because i wanted to die, but because i want to see death coming. I died once. i drowned and was dead for a full minute before i was revived. I never want to think that death is a bad thing, just a new adventure. yet i am not ready to die, as there is alot of possibilities still here. plus my daughter still needs me. I have seen the U.S.A from the cab of a big rig. I have used a urinal (no other option and pregnancy made me have no choice in this) I have wrote poetry and dreamed impossible dreams, I have done many things that i won’t list here. and i learned i can cook. I make my own bread. this to me was the biggest surprise. and now at 32 i am thinking seriously of going to college and making one of those impossible dreams reality.I am probably out of my mind. and if you read about them locking up some crazy woman who thought she could do life and failed, wellll then you know i didn’t do what i planned. but who knows. if i did all this, why can’t i do school too??

goofy girls and early mornings

well i was up at 830 ok odd for me but i had an appointment at 930 and wanted to be more alert than …huh? lol anyway appointment was delayed till 1045 so i have had time for some housework. girl woke up shortly after i did and came out with hugs and cuddles and I love yous. i so wish joe were here for it. however then it would be daddy getting them instead of me. now she is over on my bed jumping around and just being silly. I am feeling rather upbeat despite the cabin fever. joe is planning on taking me to a movie a month over the next few months if we can get a babysitter. (had to scare the girl, she hid in my blankets lol) yesterday to keep her out of the shrubs at the hospital i told her there were spiders in them. she is afraid of spiders and spiderwebs. she continued to tell me about the spiders and spiderwebs for the rest of our wait. she is very imaginative. it tickles me sometimes to see how smart she is. others it worries me. what if everyone is right and she is alot like i was, then how do i keep her safe? how do i keep the predators away?? ok so i am slightly paranoid. however i learned the hard way that some paranoia is healthy. it is a survival instinct. but i don’t want her to merely survive. I want her to flourish.and to be happy. is that to much to ask??ok enough rambling before the men in the clean white coats come….