Tag: frustration

The Existential Question

Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com

So I have been busy working on publishing tasks yesterday, Well that for me included dealing with the dreaded Goodreads Now admittedly I don’t do everything I need to with it, because every time I go there it is the same thing. I can’t claim all of my books on there. Not even the ones all written as me. The reason – My name is too common. I should be able to give the information about the book and claim it…but no. It is based on the name of the author. I am debating doing a rebranding. Adding my grandmother’s maiden name in as my middle name (I tried my middle name to start with…it is even more common.) Still I wonder how much I should rebrand? Should I just start from here? or go back and rebrand from the beginning? There is a lot involved. I just don’t know if Goodreads is worth the effort. I have my amazon author page. I have my books2read reading list. Does anyone other than authors even really use Goodreads?

Though I have to say that I am annoyed by how common my name is. Names have always been a fun thing for me. I wanted to write as Susan Ann Andrews when I was a girl. I really thought it was the prettiest name out there. I chose to write my poetry and my kid’s books under my name because I wanted to love my name again. I wanted it to be mine again. It was part of healing the abuse I had been through. I chose to do the pen name of Serena Mossgraves for my horror and darker stuff so that my kid’s books would not be tainted by those writings. So I am struggling now. Do I really want to rebrand simply because of how common my name is? Or do I stick with who I am? This really feels like I am facing an existential crisis. Do I change my persona for the idea that I am not fitting in? Or am I fitting in too well? Oh crud. I really don’t know what to do here.

Yesterday I was sure that I needed to change the branding. Today, I wake up and find in my email in response to my help request…OK we merged this and this….I look on goodreads…now one of Serena’s books is listed as Patricia. And still not even half of my books are listed as me. I still can’t claim them. Changing my brand will mean I have to go and fight them for the right to the listing all over again. In order to change it I need to go into KDP and D2D and Google Play and Barnes and Noble. Change The Details on each. I need to upload a changed cover for each. Then I need to hope that I have not screwed something up. For one or two books it is not that difficult…but I have a catalogue of around 30+ It is a hugely daunting task. OK… I can change my branding from here on out…but the whole reason I wanted to do it was because of Goodreads not letting me accept my books…if I change my brand it will throw them into a worse fit.

I think I need to think on this. I am going to do nothing about it until after the first of the year at the least. That way I can be sure I am still needing to adjust and I don’t feel like I rushed in for stupid reasons.

Changes ahead

The last two years have been so busy. And I am finding it hard to keep up. When I started with Coffee house writer’s I was easily able to keep up with the schedule I was on. But I have since started doing more here and with Fae Corps. We are doing more in Fae Corps. I am floundering under the weight of the responsibility… So I have made a decision. I am leaving Chw for now. I have already told my wonderful editor. There will be one more post next Monday. Then… I think that I will try to post here more. I am hoping that releasing one responsibility will ease the burden of the rest.

Echoes into the void

Ever feel like you are doing the same thing on repeat…ad nauseum? Well that’s what formatting of books often feels like. When I first started wanting to do desktop publishing, the pdf was the file of choice… It was supposed to be “print perfect ” as it allowed your to see how your file would be when it printed.

Well now it is one of multiple file types you need to know how to handle. And then there is the files that change after you convert it to be what you need.

Each site for publishing requires a different format. Kdp(Amazon) requires docx. Draft2digital for the ebook (if you don’t want them to change details) needs epub. And the print book version for them needs pdf.

So on days like today when the responsibility of publishing is too much… Those are the days when I step back. I breathe. Tomorrow is soon enough for all of that. I think that tommorow I will talk about the computer programs that I have found to be most useful in making the formats needed for publishing.

Technical issues, stand by.

So this week has been a disaster… And then some. I have had in my home 2 head wounds, a second degree burn, scratches, scrapes, a seizure and just general chaos. I tried to record a sketchbook tour. My phone ate the video.

I have been on the go so much that I feel like I have been awake for a week. That means that I have nothing to do the tea party on this week. And likely no idea what to talk about tomorrow. I will have to work on the idea farm.

Echoes Into the Void

So I was having an email conversation with a friend about social media. He was pointing out the algorithm that sucks the orginality out of social media in general. While I agree with him and sometimes I think that I would be happier without the view of humanity that I recieve from reading the interwebs, I would miss the delight of seeing the creativity in the human soul.

The conversation ended with the idea that we both often feel unseen. It is not, I am sure, a novel feeling. To feel like instead of being actually heard… You are merely sending echoes into the void.

So I think that I want to hear the echoes…tell me something that you feel like isn’t being heard. One thing that you want to say. I will listen. And then go through the comments and hear others. Or pass the post on to others. Let’s get it to where no one feels like that echo.

Monday mehs

So I normally post poetry on Monday… But I am exhausted. I will explain why in a truth is stranger than fiction type way. Last week was just all around awful. I am an introvert to my core. Well my boyfriend has decided to expand my daughter’s bedroom as her Christmas gift. Now that wall he wants to remove is the original outside wall of the house. The porch has since been made into another room. So that wall is load bearing. So he had two separate contractors come in to do an estimate. The first ones gave all three of us the willies. He didn’t seem to know what to do with the wall… The second one was so much better.

Most of the rest of the week was sick and pain. Nothing terribly unusual, just all together adding to the ick factor of the week… And then Friday hit.

My front door was broken for a while. We had it fixed, but we are not used to the door being right. So we use the deadbolt mostly. The bottom lock is only used when someone is home. I honestly thought that there was only one key… Well the boyfriend was half dead with exhaustion. We were taking him to work so I could use his vehicle to do shopping in the morning. He works midnight to 9. My blazer has 2 flat tires, one has a nail. So I think that he locked the bottom lock on habit. My daughter, being last out, locked the deadbolt. Well we get back to find that both locks are engaged. We checked to see if there was any other way in. I called a friend who is a local locksmith… All to no avail. Then…I get the bright idea to check the keys on my chain that I was not sure of. Yeah I had a key to the door… So that was a high stress that had my daughter and I standing in 35°F weather for about 10 minutes when we did not have to.

So I have been moving stuff to allow for the expansion, and dealing with the stress. And the result is I am so exhausted that I can’t think straight, much less create. I should be back on track with my posts tomorrow. Thank you for understanding.

Thursday Tea Party

Hi all! Pull up a seat! So much on my mind… I am a wee bit squirrel brained lately. All that it takes to distract me is a shiny object in my side view.

First… I want to express my grief at the sad demise of Grant Thompson. He was way too young to die. *a moment of silence *😭

Now, I think that I promised a Tea recommendation? I love tea. Homemade, store-bought, hot or iced. I prefer sweet, but anymore I settle for adding splenda. One of my favorite store-bought teas are Stash Black Chai Spice. I prepare it with half milk and half water and it is a luxurious treat.

I have been working on the publishing company a lot here lately. It has been a learning experience. I am learning about contracts and the messy part of publishing… That moment when crap hits the fan. It is frustrating when it is your work with snafus… It feels like failure when you are handling other authors work. I am blessed with authors who understand and are patient with me.

Fae corps anthology Under the Mists is available in Ebook format… However as the platform that I chose to use for the paperback is still in Beta… We are looking at a month wait for the paperback. We are still going to be trying to get it in as many hands as possible because these stories are really worth the read.

I am quite sure most of you saw the call for submissions that I shared yesterday. Fae corps has two new anthologies in the works. We are going to do another fae story one, this one about light fae. We are also going to do a poetry collection.

Fae corps is also pleased to announce that we are going to be representing Ms Deedra Nichole in her In a small world series. We are in contract negotiations now, but I have no doubt that we will be able to do it.

I submitted 3 poems in a call for submissions that I found on wordpress. One of the three was accepted. My poem is supposed to be published on August 5th. With all of the feels of failure in the publishing… This felt like a win. I will take it.

Oh… And soon the next edition, the summer edition, of Creative Rising Ezine will be publishing. I will share the link to subscribe as soon as I get it.

Hmmm I think that is everything…. So I will be back tomorrow with some sort of tips on writing…. So for now… Time to gather tea leaves.

Scheduled snafus

Last week I did some posts ahead. I scheduled them in wordpress thinking that would be it. Yeah, it’s never that easy. I have found that as I went in to post the last two posts I was finding ones in my drafts that did not post. I want to thank all of you for your patience. I believe that all of them are now posted. I will go back to posting on time and quit trying to schedule ahead, at least for now.