So my boyfriend and I have different views on the song popular monster. I prefer the one by Falling in Reverse and he prefers Halocene’s version. This is really not a big thing. We have different views on songs that we both like and we just deal with the other persons view.
We were going to a appointment today and his vehicle so he gets to choose the music. He played popular monster and it was an ah ha moment for me. Halocene’s voice is the same register as I sing in my head… So I like the other one because I can enjoy the song. Halocenes version ends up being my inner voice.
I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze I’m not sure if I should say this, fuck, I’ll say it anyway Everybody tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase I don’t know if it’s a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah
I battle with depression, but the question still remains Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage? And my doctor tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase Yeah, it’s not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?
Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day And it’s probably ’cause my demons simultaneously rage It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular monster
I think I’m going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze Every wall that I knock down is just a wall that I replace I’m in a race against myself, I try to keep a steady pace How the fuck will I escape if I never close my case?
Oh my God, I keep on stressing, every second that I waste Is another second sooner to a blessing I won’t take But my therapist will tell me that I’m going through a stage Yeah, it’s not a fucking stage, I just wanna feel okay, okay
Motherfucker, now you got my attention I need to change a couple things ’cause something is missing And what if I were to lie? Tell you everything is fine Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified
I fell asleep at the wheel again Crashed my car just to feel again It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular fucking monster
Yeah, here we go again, motherfucker, oh We’re sick and tired of wondering Praying to a god that you don’t believe We’re searching for the truth in the lost and found So the question I ask is Oh, where the fuck is your god now?
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m not a popular, popular monster
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster
My 2 Cents –
There is something awful about this process. That loss of faith. In God, In community, In Self. And it is worse when you are being told that there is something wrong with you at the same time. There is not a damn thing wrong with being a monster. Be a monster, be yourself, Be Unique (10 points if you know where that is from)
Okay. I have had time to calm down. We got dressed up. We looked amazing. We were so excited. We get there and find out that Falling in Reverse would not be there. Okay, That is only one of the TWO bands we were excited about. TBH we had not really heard Plush so we were ambivalent about them.
The Concert was half an hour after we were told to be there. We understood that was probably to give people time to find their seats. But People were arriving already drunk and loud. The idiot on the other side of Joe was screaming and smelled of beer. The smell of Pot permeated the whole damn stadium. (Not that I mind a good doobie but it was overwhelming.) When the concert did start it was not the order we were told. Plush came out first.
They were amazeballs.
I need to stress that because of how bad the rest was. The woman in the seats in front of us kept standing up to record with her cellphone. The screaming idiot did not stop for the music. All of the extra noise and smells sent Angel into a meltdown. So we decided to leave….And that is when I realized the woman on the other side of me was sitting on my dress. I tried to pull it loose and she just looked at me like I was an idiot. I literally had to ask her to please fucking get off my dress before she let me move.
We finally had to leave – we had only managed to handle three and a half of the songs. The rudeness of people ruined what could have been an amazing experience.
I don’t understand why people cannot just sit and enjoy the show. I only wish we could have stayed. Plush was amazing what we saw, and I imagine Disturbed were probably Better.
I can’t unhear what you said You’re so messed in the head For all the pain that you spread to me
You got to live with the fact You stuck a knife in my back And then you laughed while you watched me bleed
What you got coming to ya you did to yourself Now you got coming to ya everything i felt
Like sliding down a razor blade Feeling every cut Sucker punch into the face Then you taste the blood I hope it hurts a little I hope it hurts you bad I hope it hurts a little more than that Like burning in the flames of fire Turning into ash Walking then you’re running On a bed of broken glass I hope it hurts a little I hope it hurts you bad I hope it hurts a little more, more than that
Sure hope you know how to pray And how to self medicate Cause when you come face to face with the fear
It’s there as long as you live Don’t look to me to forgive I think you know what you did What you did what you did
What you got coming to yeah you did to yourself Now you got coming to ya everything I felt
My 2 Cents –
So Thursday I am going to the Disturbed/Falling in Reverse/Plush Concert. I admit I had not really paid any attention to Plush. Now I am listening to them to fix that. I love the other two bands…and I am starting to grow fond of this one.
The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray ‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain But that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep on begging me to stay If I pull the trigger now then the demons go away And I know my time is coming so there ain’t no time to waste So that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep telling me to choose a side It’s heaven or hell like it’s do or die I’m a sad boy, you know better Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m not okay It’s feeling like a hurricane in my brain Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die) And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized) They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie) I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep giving me the worst advice Kamikaze crash like a suicide I’m a lost boy, you know better Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m insane And maybe I’m a little bit, that won’t change Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die) And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized) They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie) I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse We’re all gonna die but first things first I’m a take the world with me when they put me in the dirt The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse We’re all gonna die but first things first I’m a take the world with me when they put me in the dirt Move (Move) Voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse We’re all gonna die, first things first I’m a take the world with me when they put me in the dirt The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die) And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized) They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie) I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray ‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
My 2 Cents –
So close…April has been a wild ride Y’all. I feel like being this busy is enough to drive anyone insane.
The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray ‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain But that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep on begging me to stay If I pull the trigger now then the demons go away And I know my time is coming so there ain’t no time to waste So that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep telling me to choose a side It’s heaven or hell like it’s do or die I’m a sad boy, you know better Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m not okay It’s feeling like a hurricane in my brain Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die) And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized) They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie) I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep giving me the worst advice Kamikaze crash like a suicide I’m a lost boy, you know better Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m insane And maybe I’m a little bit, that won’t change Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather Please don’t make this last forever The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die) And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized) They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie) I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse We’re all gonna die but first things first I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse We’re all gonna die but first things first I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt Move (Move) Voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse We’re all gonna die, first things first I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die) And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized) They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie) I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray ‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
My 2 Cents – this is the time of year when mental health is the hardest to deal with. Addiction, family issues, and simply put trauma responses end up making it more than disaster… and then those who are trying to find the way to handle the mental health problems end up feeling like they are to blame for ruining the holidays. You can really never tell what someone else is going through. Be kind, please.
Pattimouse 