This year the holidays stunk. Yeah I said it. It is so taboo to be miserable during December, because you feel like you are weighing everyone else down. Or you feel just freaking ungrateful.
I know that I am not alone in this. This year has weighed hard on so many. No ability to do big gatherings, or family meals, or the other traditional trappings of the holidays. So much of this year has been death and illness. And for me family distancing.
The holiday was just lacking. So I was playing video games with my youngest, and scrolling down Facebook occasionally when something caught my eye. Serena has her own Facebook. Well someone, another author, had told me that Serena’s Rust, Gore, and the Junkyard Zombie was on his Christmas wishlist. He tagged Serena in the comments of his gifts… He got it.
Seeing that tag just made me smile. It made my whole holiday better. Just knowing that book was wanted.
So till this year is gone, enjoy the little things. Don’t let it fall apart because the big things are missing. Enjoy what you can. I hope that each of you find a little thing that brings joy this season.
I don’t often post pictures of my daughter or myself, not on here. Today it seems important. I got a call this morning, while making breakfast and listening to her laughter as her and her dad were picking at each other.
I took her to the doctor yesterday. She is asthmatic, and her left lung has been hurting for a couple of days. She also had other concerns and needed shots. So the doc sent her for a chest X-ray.
That call was the nurse from the Doctor’s office. The X-ray came back as she has pneumonia. They want a covid test. And my heart dropped into my stomach. Since the pandemic hit we have been very careful. We don’t go anywhere, at least nowhere unnecessary. We are both asthmatic and her dad has emphysema. The whole lot of us are high risk.
So I am scared. I have a 16 year old stubborn girl who is going to need to rest… and like her mama, she is not inclined towards rest often. She is a busy bee with multiple things that she is wanting to do at any given moment.
We are just about to go out to get her covid test… and I am worried.
So I am probably not going to be posting this week due to this. I will be back next week, and I am going to try to be more active. thank you for understanding.
Lyrics She was 19 with a baby on the way On the East-side of the city, she was working every day Cleaning dishes in the evening, she could barely stay awake She was clinging to the feeling that her luck was gonna change And, ‘cross town she would take the bus at night To a one bedroom apartment, and when she’d turn on the light She would sit down at the table, tell herself that it’s alright She was waiting on the day she hoped her baby would arrive She’d never be alone Have someone to hold And when nights were cold She’d say The world’s not perfect, but it’s not that bad If we got each other, and that’s all we have I will be your mother, and I’ll hold your hand You should know I’ll be there for you When the world’s not perfect When the world’s not kind If we have each other then we’ll both be fine I will be your mother, and I’ll hold your hand You should know I’ll be there for you They were 90 and were living out their days On the West-side of the city next to where they got engaged They had pictures on the walls of all the memories that they’d made And though life was never easy, they were thankful that they stayed With each other, and though some times were hard Even when she made him angry he would never break her heart No, they didn’t have the money to afford a fancy car But they never had to travel ’cause they’d never be apart Even at the end Their love was stronger than The day that they first met They’d say The world’s not perfect, but it’s not that bad If we got each other, and that’s all we have I will be your lover, and I’ll hold your hand You should know I’ll be there for you When the world’s not perfect When the world’s not kind If we have each other then we’ll both be fine I will be your lover, and I’ll hold your hand You should know I’ll be there for you You should know I’ll be there for you I’m 23, and my folks are getting old I know they don’t have forever and I’m scared to be alone So I’m thankful for my sister, even though sometimes we fight When high school wasn’t easy, she’s the reason I survived I know she’d never leave me and I hate to see her cry So I wrote this verse to tell her that I’m always by her side I wrote this verse to tell her that I’m always by her side I wrote this verse to tell her that The world’s not perfect, but it’s not that bad If we got each other, and that’s all we have I will be your brother, and I’ll hold your hand You should know I’ll be there for you When the world’s not perfect When the world’s not kind If we have each other then we’ll both be fine I will be your brother, and I’ll hold your hand You should know I’ll be there for you You should know I’ll be there for you
My 2 cents so much has gone on this year and I needed some happy with the music. so I chose upbeat and happy survival music. rock on.
So this week has been a disaster… And then some. I have had in my home 2 head wounds, a second degree burn, scratches, scrapes, a seizure and just general chaos. I tried to record a sketchbook tour. My phone ate the video.
I have been on the go so much that I feel like I have been awake for a week. That means that I have nothing to do the tea party on this week. And likely no idea what to talk about tomorrow. I will have to work on the idea farm.
Hello lovely readers! Time for tea again. Today is a Lipton Ice tea for me.
I don’t know if you noticed… But I stopped doing the monthly link posts… This is because I added a page for the links. I feel like this makes them easier to find. However it also, I suppose makes it easier for some people to ignore… It has good and bad to it. Still I feel like this is a better way.
The pandemic has been doing a real number on my ability to focus and thus my ability to write. I am currently working on writing my submissions for Fae Corps anthology Fae Dreams. The theme is Goals /dreams. Serena has already submitted for this and Nightmare Whispers. Both have the deadline of August 31. So far I have 1 poem to submit… Out of the 5 possible. So I have got to get writing! Can’t let Serena outdo me, right?
I finished with a sketchbook. I plan on doing a video sketchbook tour for patreon this weekend (patrons only but you can be a patron for as little as a $1 a month. ) I think that I did really well with some of those pieces.
Also I just got a new deck. Readings are available (by donations only, I don’t set a price. I ask only that you donate something for your reading and leave the amount up to you. ) I will be doing a full post about this tomorrow with deck pictures.
I know that I missed yesterday… It is due to changes that hit me a little hard. My boyfriend was laid off, so my sleep schedule and our finances are about to drastically change.
I felt like all of the pressure from this would cause the pick of music to be more depressing. I also needed time to process and accept the change.
I still plan on posting today my art as I always do. I just wanted to explain why I missed yesterday.
Lyrics – I’m looking at you through the glass Don’t know how much time has passed Oh God, it feels like forever But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head ‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass Don’t know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head How do you feel? That is the question But I forget, you don’t expect an easy answer When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can’t expect a bit of hope And while you’re outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what you’re staring at is me ‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass Don’t know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head How much is real? So much to question An epidemic of the mannequins Contaminating everything When thought came from the heart It never did right from the start Just listen to the noises (No more sad voices) Before you tell yourself It’s just a different scene Remember it’s just different from what you’ve seen I’m looking at you through the glass Don’t know how much time has passed And all I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head ‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass Don’t know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head And it’s the stars The stars that shine for you And it’s the stars The stars that lie to you And it’s the stars The stars that shine for you And it’s the stars The stars that lie to you I’m looking at you through the glass Don’t know how much time has passed Oh God, it feels like forever But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head ‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass Don’t know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head And it’s the stars The stars that shine for you And it’s the stars The stars that lie to you And it’s the stars The stars that shine for you And it’s the stars The stars that lie to you Who are the stars Who are the stars they lie
My 2 cents – with all of the confusion in the world, this song feels like it is so relevant. I saw a meme earlier that asked if anyone else felt gaslit by 2020 ?! This year has been a trial for most of us.
Okay so I have my own view on life. I am fairly open minded and will always accept that I might be wrong. That is… I don’t believe that I am wrong, but I am not infallible. That being said… I saw a post that I shared… And immediately regretted.
Not because of comments… Or the like… But because it made me think. Don’t we all hate being made to think? What is it that makes a good person? Is it a certain set of views on politics? I know that I am adamant on my view on abortion. A good friend who is usually seen as a good man… He has a differing opinion. So does that make me the bad person?
How do we determine if someone is good or bad… If it is easy to determine? I don’t know that it is. I think that the current events are enough to put division between neighbors… In religion we are taught to love our neighbors.. Doesn’t matter if they are good people or not… However it never says that we have to expose ourselves to their beliefs. Or them.
So I pose the question… Do you think that you have a good person?
Pattimouse 