Well…I finished writing Queer Verbage which will not release until April…it seems so far away…but it is one less thing I have hanging over me. I can do the formatting and get the stuff done for publishing. I cannot explain why the need to finish it was so strong, but having it done is a weight off. Now I have Tears of the Broken, Dream Drops, Fighting Ignorance, Ocular Dystopia, Occult Madness in progress for me and Chasing Ghosts for Serena. When I mentioned to my Daughter how I felt like I was struggling with it, she said I was pushing too hard. She said that if I worked any harder she would never get to see me. Sorry, she comes first there. But it did make me wonder…what is the right amount? I try to write as I feel the urge, but I also try to set a daily goal so I actually get forward progress on more than just the poetry volumes…because I tend to get easily distracted from my stories. I am aware there is a discipline to this…and I am a child of chaos. So where is the happy medium for me? That is something I am going to be working with over the next few weeks. I need to set me a workable time schedule for writing and work that I can stick to…or at least attempt to. Let’s see how that goes?
This weekend I was easily able to make that goal and then some.
My daily goal? 250 word count and a poem. It doesn’t sound like a lot… but I don’t often make it. Between the publication process and life being what it is… I stay busy.
I had no Internet and no computer and no access to the phone where I have been. So I was just able to draw and write.
I got a new kids book written, several poems, and Serena got quite a bit of her new story for the spring fae corps Anthology done. (It’s about half way written now). I was only gone for a weekend.
Maybe I need to plan on writing retreats. Serena needs to start putting some work in on her books. Next year this is an option for me.
But being out of contact is anxiety inducing for me. This is a wonderful thing for my writing but it is not a good thing for me personally. It is something I will have to think about.
It was a tie in the votes… this one and Burning the Candles at both ends.
I asked my boyfriend to choose… and his response gave me what I needed to choose.
He said that Burning is a darker one and this one was lighter. So I should choose based on the poems that I was planning on putting in it.
That is not how I write…
But it got me thinking about my own writing and the upcoming volume. Ok, I have Serena’s Gathered Bones that I can put the dark stuff in. And I am planning on using this one for the November Pad challenge as well as the stuff I write until then…. I am likely to be looking for a new one at the end of November….
So I chose the one that I liked better (and the one that my daughter had voted for) since the votes were equal for the two.
No matter how much I do. No matter what I list as my accomplishments.
I refuse to listen. So I have been in defiance doing art and writing.
Though I see it as flawed…my view of my art and writing always says that there is no reason why anyone would like it…
I have purposely not been allowing my inner voice the ability to take control.
It is an actual fight.
Tonight I am winning.
The art above was done tonight.
Echoes is now 65/70 poems
Serena’s Gathered Bones is at 13/70 poems
Kingdoms of sin got another 500 words tonight.
There is a story started for Fae Corps publishing’s Spring anthology.
And I did another digital landscape.
I have still got work that needs done. Things that are sitting on my desk with a needs attention tag on them…but tonight I was in the wrong headspace for editing and for making sure that things looked their best. Tonight I did my best to create.
Because when you are feeling like you are not enough – MAKE MORE! so I did.
And if it is flawed…well some of the best loved things are flawed. that does not make them loved any less.
Pattimouse 