Tuesday Tunes

Plumb – Damaged

Lyrics – Dreaming comes so easily
Cause it’s all that I’ve known
True love is a fairy tale
I’m damaged, so how would I know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed, and I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I’m damaged, as I’m sure you know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed and I need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

There’s mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can’t go back

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
Cause I feel you, oh, I feel you near me

Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
I can’t go back
I can’t go back
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on
I must go on

My 2 cents – I think that music that resonates most is often music that we see ourselves in. I, thusly, tend towards the music of survival and broken hearts. This song has always resonated. It truly speaks to the broken heart.

Tuesday Tunes

Steampianist – Thing

Lyrics – A distant lullaby, dying from my sight
A glow is amiss, fleeting from my side
Oh why, oh why
Alone in a cruel world
Leaves me
Cold and curled
But then
Friends
Warmth
Eyes that gleam
A glow returns once more it seems
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
I want fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared like you
Just like you
Soft lullabies, never leave my side
Glowing warm fur and gleaming round eyes
Isolated no more
My friends
Don’t struggle there is no point
You’ll never be alone
From now
Friends
Warmth
Never leave
Struggling only make the hugs much tighter
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
Fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared like you
Just like you
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
Fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared
Like you

My 2 cents- I am new to this song. I was drawing a blank as to the song to pick today… There are just so many good options… So I asked my 16 year old to suggest a song. Now mind you, she is where I go to for new music. Her tastes tend to run the gauntlet, but she usually suggests songs that I fall in love with. She appears to have chosen a Gothic tune to share this time. I love the melody and the lyrics are really good.

So since I got today’s song from her… I ask you, what song would you want to share with me?

Tuesday Tunes (Delayed Edition)

Ok, I missed yesterday. I know I posted the first of the poet posts… But I feel like this fits.

Pat Benatar – Hell is for Children

Lyrics – They cry in the dark
So you can’t see their tears
They hide in the light
So you can’t see their fears
Forgive and forget
All the while
Love and pain become one and the same
In the eyes of a wounded child
Because hell, hell is for children
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess
Hell, hell is for children
And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love
With your bones and your flesh
It’s all so confusing this brutal abusing
They blacken your eyes and then apologize
Be daddy’s good girl, and don’t tell mommy a thing
Be a good little boy, and you’ll get a new toy
Tell grandma you fell from the swing
Because hell, hell is for children
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess
Hell, hell is for children
And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love
With your bones and your flesh
No, hell is for children
Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children
Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children
Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children
Hell is for children
Hell is for children

My 2 cents – so all of the poets that I will be telling you about helped me to start to heal. Well there were also some songs… This one helped me feel like I was not alone. I felt understood, A rare thing then.

Tuesday Tunes

Ale Benjamin – Let Me Down Slowly

Lyrics – This night is cold in the kingdom
I can feel you fade away
From the kitchen to the bathroom sink and
Your steps keep me awake Don’t cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste
I once was a man with dignity and grace
Now I’m slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace
So please, please Could you find a way to let me down slowly?
A little sympathy, I hope you can show me
If you wanna go, then I’ll be so lonely
If you’re leaving, baby let me down slowly
Let me down, down
Let me down, down
Let me down, let me down
Down, let me down, down
Let me down
If you wanna go, then I’ll be so lonely
If you’re leaving, baby let me down slowly Cold skin, drag my feet on the tile
As I’m walking down the corridor
And I know we haven’t talked in a while
So I’m looking for an open door

My 2 cents – to me this song speaks of loneliness and freedom.

Tuesday Tunes

Alec Benjamen – Paper Crowns

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
A paper crown, and a heart made of glass
A tattered gown, and a kingdom of ash
She walks alone, she can never look back
The story of a queen whose castle has fallen to the sea
She’ll make it out, but she’s never the same
She’s looking down at the scars that remain
But you hold your ground, though your kingdom’s in flames
‘Cause it’s the story of a queen whose castle has fallen to the sea
Knowing there’s no one who will be
A king that will come and save his queen

[Chorus]
When all she needs, when all she wants, when all she finds
When all she is, and ever was is compromised
‘Cause there’s no one to love you
When you built your walls too high
And there’s no one to love you
When you build your walls too high

[Verse 2]
She’s looking out from the war that’s inside
You’re screaming out ’cause no one survived
But when you’re all alone, you wait and you hide
‘Cause it’s the story of a queen whose castle has fallen to the sea
Knowing there’s no one who will be
A king who will come and save his queen

[Chorus]
When all she needs, when all she wants, when all she finds
When all she is, and ever was is compromised
‘Cause there’s no one to love you
When you built your walls too high
And there’s no one to love you
When you build your walls too high

[Bridge]
There’s no one who is strong enough to save your love
There’s no fairy tale, there’s no fairy tale

[Chorus]
All she needs, when all she wants, when all she finds
When all she is, and ever was is compromised
‘Cause there’s no one to love you
When you built your walls too high
And there’s no one to love you
When you trap yourself inside

My 2 cents –

This song touches the heart. Self sufficiency and survival…. Two realities. This song just makes me feel like I am not alone in this world.

Tuesday Tunes

Unlike Pluto – Sanity

Lyrics – When you’re all fucked up from a little bad luck and
Somehow your mind will start to go away
Fucked up from life’s dark touch and
You curl up and hope that it’ll go away

I fall, you fall
Let’s have a ball
Drag you below
Cuz we’re all goners anyway
Just take my hand
No time to waste
I’m off the case
My mind is on a holiday
I’ll check back in another day
Hey

Cuz I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my mind is first to go
Losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my sanity is gone

I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
My sanity is gone

Cuz when I fly, Houston we got a problem
When I drop, I don’t know why I’m even here
It’s fucked up, cuz sometimes it’s fun
And I think that you need to lighten up a bit

On my call, we jump
Then we’ll collide
Drag you below
Cuz we’re all goners anyway
Just take my hand
No time to waste
I’m off the case
My mind is on a holiday
I’ll check back in another day
Hey

Cuz I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my mind is first to go
Losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my sanity is gone

I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
My sanity is…

What you want from me
I’m insane today
It’s not going away
Live my life today
Roll the dice and say
I wouldn’t have it any other way

My 2cents – well I am far from the most music savvy person in my house. That honestly belongs to my kiddo. She came to me last week all excited… “Mommy, Unlike Pluto has a new one!” So we listened. Honestly it is a good song. It has a good beat and feel to it.

Tuesday Tunes

Bebe Rexha – Gonna Show you Crazy

Lyrics – There’s a war inside my head
Sometimes I wish that I was dead, I’m broken
So I call this therapist
And she said, “Girl, you can’t be fixed, just take this.”
I’m tired of trying to be normal
I’m always over-thinking
I’m driving myself crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
And I don’t need your quick fix
I don’t want your prescriptions
Just ’cause you say I’m crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’ve been searching city streets
Trying to find the missing piece like you said
And I say child don’t need to find
There’s not a single thing that’s wrong with my mind
Yeah, I’m tired of tryna be normal
I’m always over-thinking
Driving myself crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
And I don’t need your quick fix
I don’t want your prescriptions
Just ’cause you say I’m crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?
I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you
(I’m gonna show you)
Crazy, crazy, yeah I’m gonna show you
Crazy, crazy, yeah I’m gonna show you
Crazy, crazy
Tired of tryna be normal
I’m driving myself crazy
And I don’t need your quick fix
I don’t want your prescriptions
Just ’cause you say I’m crazy
So what if I’m fucking crazy?!
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
Mental out my brain, bad shit go insane,
Yeah, I’m gonna show you
I’m gonna show you
Yeah, I’m gonna show you

My 2 cents – I feel this song. So much. I have been fighting mental illness my whole life. I was misdiagnosed when I was younger, and the meds for the diagnosed disorder were not good for me. I ended up hallucinating, or lethargic. Added to the symptoms I already have… Well I was miserable. And I had a hard time getting doctors to hear me. So I often felt like I was crazy, and it was not a good thing. I think that we sometimes celebrate crazy with out helping it. It’s become cool to be out of your mind. Except for if you really are.

Last Friday

So I have a set up for this blog… Mostly. Monday is poetry.. Either mine or discussion of others. Tuesday is Tuesday tunes. Wednesday is either webcomics Wednesday or wordless Wednesday… Or very rarely Wednesday whimsy. Thursday is either tea party or reviews. The first Friday will be monthly prompts. I am considering a monthly submissions call on the second week. (Where I scour through finding calls for submissions for you all) I have two Fridays (most months) that I am still not sure about. I am considering doing a service spotlight where I point attention to a person providing a service for writer’s (editors, illustrators, cover designers, etc). 2020 my word for the year is change. I am going to embrace change. That means I am looking to improve how I interact with the world around me, how I approach my writing.

That is incredbly scary. Courage is not the lack of fear, instead it is being afraid and doing it anyway. I am terrified of change. It brings more Chaos… But I am facing it anyway.

So, I challenge you. What is your word for 2020? What are you going to embrace, and change in your life? No, I am not speaking of new year’s resolutions… This is something that is meant to make you think about you and how you approach life.

Tuesday Tunes Twofer

So… I have avoided seasonal songs because they are usually religion based…and it makes them likely to offend. The non religious songs… Well I was not feeling them. Until today. Sunday my daughter played a song that I had not thought of in a while – Weird Al – The Night Santa Went Crazy. I decided that it would be a good one for today… Then, yesterday a friend introduced me to another good option. Dar Williams The Christians and The Pagans. So I decided to do both.

Lyrics –
The Night Santa Went Crazy
Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared ’em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
“Merry Christmas to all, now you’re all gonna die!”
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he’d been gettin’ the raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, “It tastes just like chicken!”
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can hardly walk around the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts
There’s the National Guard and the F. B. I.
There’s a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circling around in the sky
And the bullets are flying, the body count’s rising
And everyone’s dyin’ to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa’s doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don’t you cry no more tears
He’ll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years
But now Vixen’s in therapy and Donner’s still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus, she’s on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They’re talkin’ ’bout
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped
Wo-oh, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he’d been gettin’ a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo-oh, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped, in his brain

The Christians and the Pagans
Amber called her uncle, said “We’re up here for the holiday,
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay.”
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree,
He watched his son hang candy canes all made with Red Dye No. 3.
He told his niece, “Its Christmas Eve, I know our life is not your style, “
She said, “Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you and its been awhile.”
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.
The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, “Is it true that you’re a wtich?”
His mom jumped up and said, “The pies are burning, ” and she hit the kitchen,
And it was Jane who spoke, she said, “It’s true, your cousin’s not a Christian, “
“But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere, “
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic’s in the learning,
‘Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.
When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, “Really, no, don’t bother.”
Amber’s uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn’t spoken in a year,
He thought he’d call him up and say, “It’s Christmas, and your daughter’s here.”
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, saw his own son tug his sleeve, saying,
“Can I be a Pagan?” Dad said, “We’ll discuss it when they leave.”
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.


My 2 cents –
Both of these songs are fun, in different ways. 
The night Santa went crazy is straight up satire. It pokes fun at everything about the holidays.
The Christians and the pagans is a well thought out song that speaks heavily of tolerance for the holidays.
Holiday songs are so very often a sign of the times they were created in.

Tuesday Tunes

Au/Ra – Ghost

Lyrics –

[Intro]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)

[Verse 1]
Today I’m kinda feelin’ like a ghost
Call my friends but ain’t nobody home
Tell myself I’m fine but I don’t really know
I’m just scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone
I never let it show
But I feel like a missed call on a phone
Tryna live my life, pay-as-you-go
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Verse 2]
You know I never meant to cut you off
Got phantom feelings I can never solve
Stranger things to worry ’bout, I know
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’llghost

up alone

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t see myself in the mirror
Does that mean I’m not really here?
I’m losin’ touch with everything I know
And I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Bridge]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
You know I’m like a ghost
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, you know I’m like a ghost)
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’ll be alright, I know
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’m just scared that I’ll end up alone
(Ooh, ooh)

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

My 2 cents –

I honestly thought about a holiday song… But not everyone celebrates the same holiday. So I found a song that I feel reflects how many feel during this time of year. The artist has a wonderful voice and you really feel the loneliness in the song. I often feel like a ghost, unseen. That is the result of having a chronic illness. I often end up with only my family as company because I am too ill to go out. And then anxiety adds to it. If you are feeling like a ghost… You are not as alone as you feel. Reach out. Message me (patti.mouse@gmail). I will always chat with anyone who feels alone.