Category: pain

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics-

They cry in the dark
So you can’t see their tears
They hide in the light
So you can’t see their fears
Forgive and forget
All the while
Love and pain become one and the same
In the eyes of a wounded child

Because hell, hell is for children
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess
Hell, hell is for children
And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love
With your bones and your flesh

It’s all so confusing this brutal abusing
They blacken your eyes and then apologize
Be daddy’s good girl, and don’t tell mommy a thing
Be a good little boy, and you’ll get a new toy
Tell grandma you fell from the swing

Because hell, hell is for children
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess
Hell, hell is for children
And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love
With your bones and your flesh

No, hell is for children

Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children

Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children

Hell, hell is for hell
Hell is for hell
Hell is for children

Hell is for children
Hell is for children

My 2 Cents –

Was struggling to find a song for the week and this came across my dash. It’s unfortunate… But I feel this. Childhood should not be something you have to heal from…but for many of us it is.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics-

Well the key to my survival
Was never in much doubt
The question was, how I could keep sane
Trying to find a way out?
Things were never easy for me
Peace of mind was hard to find
And I needed a place where I could hide
Somewhere I could call mine
I didn’t think much about it
‘Til it started happening all the time
Soon I was living with the fear everyday
Of what might happen that night
I couldn’t stand to hear the crying
Of my mother, and I remember when
I swore that that would be the last they’d see of me
And I never went home again
They say that time is a healer
And now my wounds are not the same
I rang the bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what he’d say
He sat me down to talk to me
He looked me straight in the eyes
He said
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
“You walked out, you left us behind”
“And you’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
Oh, his words how they hurt me, I’ll never forget it
And as the time, it went by, I lived to regret it
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
But where should I go and what should I do?
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
But I came here for help, oh I came here for you
Well the years they passed so slowly
I thought about him everyday
What would I do, if we passed on the street
Would I keep running away?
In and out of hiding places
Soon I’d have to face the facts
We’d have to sit down and talk it over
And that would mean going back
They say that time is a healer
And now my wounds are not the same
But I rang that bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what he’d say
He sat me down to talk to me
He looked me straight in the eyes
He said
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
“You’re no son, no son of mine”
“When you walked out, you left us behind”
“And you’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
Oh, his words how they hurt me
I’ll never forget it
And as the time, it went by
I lived to regret it
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
But where should I go and what should I do?
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
Well I came here for help, oh I was looking for you
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine oh”
“You’re no son” ha yeah, ha yeah, ha yeah, ha yeah, ha yeah
“You’re no son, you’re no son of mine”
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
You’re no son of mine (oh, oh)
(Oh, oh) You’re no son of mine (oh, oh)
You’re no son (oh, oh), you’re no son of mine (oh, oh)
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
You’re no son of mine (oh, oh)
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

My 2 Cents –

This is a song that caught my attention in high school. It sparked my empathy then, and really still does. Not all survivors of abuse are the same, but we all know what it feels like…

Wild Wednesday

Today I am struggling.

I have no idea what to say, my jeep is down, has been all month just about.

I love being home, but I don’t usually have to be here if I don’t want to be.

I can’t even walk out to the store because I have an injury on my foot.

So I am feeling a little bit of cabin fever.

I will get past it.

But I don’t know what to post on the blog today because of it.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics-

Captain Planet, Arab Spring, L.A. riots, Rodney King
Deep fakes, earthquakes, Iceland volcano
Oklahoma City bomb, Kurt Cobain, Pokémon
Tiger Woods, MySpace, Monsanto, GMOs

Harry Potter, Twilight, Michael Jackson dies
Nuclear accident, Fukushima, Japan
Crimean Peninsula, Cambridge Analytica
Kim Jong Un, Robert Downey Jr., Iron Man

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it, but we’re trying to fight it

More war in Afghanistan, Cubs go all the way again
Obama, Spielberg, explosion, Lebanon
Unabomber, Bobbitt, John, bombing Boston Marathon
Balloon Boy, War on Terror, QAnon

Trump gets impeached twice, Polar bears got no ice
Fyre Fest, Black Parade, Michael Phelps, Y2K
Boris Johnson, Brexit, Kanye West and Taylor Swift
Stranger Things, Tiger King, Ever Given, Suez

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it, but we’re trying to fight it

Sandy Hook, Columbine, Sandra Bland and Tamir Rice
ISIS, LeBron James, Shinzo Abe blown away
Meghan Markle, George Floyd, Burj Khalifa, Metroid
Fermi paradox, Venus and Serena

Oh-oh-oh, Michael Jordan, 23, YouTube killed MTV
SpongeBob, Golden State Killer got caught
Michael Jordan, 45, Woodstock ’99
Keaton, Batman, Bush v. Gore, I can’t take it anymore

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it, but we’re trying to fight it

Elon Musk, Kaepernick, Texas failed electric grid
Jeff Bezos, climate change, white rhino goes extinct
Great Pacific Garbage Patch, Tom DeLonge and aliens
Mars rover, Avatar, self-driving electric cars
SSRI’s, Prince and The Queen die
World trade, second plane, what else do I have to say?

We didn’t start the fire (we didn’t start it)
It was always burning since the world’s been turning (oh)
We didn’t start the fire (we didn’t start it)
But when we are gone, it will still go on (oh-yeah)

And on, and on, and on, an on
And on, and on, and on
We didn’t start the fire (fire)
It was always burning since the world’s been turning

My 2 Cents –

I’m Gen X. That damn song is practically the anthem of my generation. And it’s been updated with this cover. It breaks my heart. But it is so freaking right.

Wild Wednesday

I believe it is time to order a new keyboard. I am hard on mine. Mostly due to gaming, but I do a lot of typing as well.
The only requirement I have for my keyboard is it has to be backlit…and it has to have the number pad.

This is the one I settled on. I hope it is more sturdy.

Wild Wednesday

What is in a title?

What makes a good title? and is it subjective? My daughter and friend both think I can do better for my coloring book than the title I had chosen. I am still struggling with the amount of work that goes into what will be listed as a low content item. I am struggling with the coloring book altogether if I am honest.

I love the cover I made for it. But I don’t like how the scanned art has a off shade to it that will print funny. Or just the way that putting the book together for this is. I suppose I am finding fault with the whole project. I am a perfectionist and there is nothing perfect about this project.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

The only days that I’m not stressed
Are days I work myself to death
And I’m too tired to feel anything else

Even then, I’m restless in my sleep
My worries bleed into my dreams and I
Wake up and do it all again

Maybe it’s the way I was raised
Or how I’m wired in my brain but
I never seem to be
Enough for me

Is it normal
The way I can’t help second guessing
Is it normal
Wishing I could put my thoughts to bed
And be in the moment
For just a moment
Cuz it feels like I’m always somewhere else instead
Is it normal
How I get stuck in my head

I bite my lip and twist my hair
Scroll through my phone or sit and stare at nothing
Trying to chase my train of thought

Tell everybody that I’m doing okay
Make it look good and hope that one of these days
It won’t be a lie

Is it normal
The way I can’t help second guessing
Is it normal
Wishing I could put my thoughts to bed
And be in the moment
For just a moment
Cuz it feels like I’m always somewhere else instead
Is it normal
How I get stuck in my head

Ahh, yeah yeah
Ahh, yeah
Ahh, yeah yeah
Stuck in my, stuck in my
Ahh, yeah yeah
Ahh, yeah
Ahh, yeah yeah
Stuck in my, stuck in my

Is it normal
The way I can’t help second guessing
Is it normal
Wishing I could put my thoughts to bed
And be in the moment
For just a moment
Cuz it feels like I’m always somewhere else instead
Is it normal
How I get stuck in my head

My 2 Cents –

I heard this on tiktok…and related so much. Sometimes music is just knowing someone else feels the same.

Wild Wednesday

Mental Health is a tricky thing.

I have this year struggled to find a therapist. I wish I could say it is all my doing that is causing this disconnect. At least then I could point the finger and go…This is what I need to fix. I wish I could just heal my mind and never need therapy again. (I literally just had a therapist accuse me of wanting to be broken because it was all I have ever known. I can’t even explain to her what damage she added to me.)

Some days are better than others.

Some days I fight and find myself actually happy. I enjoy the moments that life gives me…I enjoy the people I love. I enjoy the moments where I do something and it feels like I am doing it right.

The problem is those moments are not as often as I need them to be.

The other problem is I don’t have the people I need to share those moments with.

I have friends. I have family. I just don’t want to bother them. So I am lonely. In the fishbowl of the internet.

Today…

Perhaps I am a little more willing to show the vulnerability, and say that having mental health issues sucks.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

[Intro]
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
Feelin’ like a psychofreak-freak-freak
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
(Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)

[Chorus]
Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes
Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi
Tell me that you love me, are you lying?
Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes
House in the hills is a house of cards
Blink and the fairytale falls apart
Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark
Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is hard

[Verse 1]
Sometimes, I don’t trust the way I feel
On my Instagram talkin’ ’bout “I’m healed”
Worryin’ if I got sex appeal
Hopin’ that I don’t drive off this hill
When we’re makin’ lovе, I wanna be there
And I wanna feel you pullin’ my hair
And bеlieve the words you say in my ear
Gotta go outside, I need some air

[Pre-Chorus]
I want to, want to, want to touch you
Want to touch you, but my fingertips are numb
I want to, want to, want to love you
Want to love you, but my chest is tightenin’ up
I want to, want to, want to feel like I can chill
Not have to leave this restaurant
Wish I could be like everyone
But I’m not like anyone

[Chorus]
Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes
Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi
Tell me that you love me, are you lying?
Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes
House in the hills is a house of cards
Blink and the fairytale falls apart
Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark
Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is hard

[Post-Chorus]
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra

[Verse 2]
Sorry, couldn’t focus on the movie
Everybody says they miss the old me
I been on this ride since I was fifteen
I don’t blame the girls for how it went down, down
Thinkin’ out loud
In the bathroom while my friends laugh on the couch
Wow, moment’s gone now
Know you wanna stay, but I think I gotta leave right now

[Pre-Chorus]
I want to, want to, want to touch you
Want to touch you, but my fingertips are numb
I want to, want to, want to love you
Want to love you, but my chest is tightenin’ up
I want to, want to, want to feel like I can chill
Not have to leave this restaurant
Wish I could be like everyone (Wish I could be)
But I’m not like anyone

[Chorus]
Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes
Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi
Tell me that you love me, are you lying?
Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes
House in the hills is a house of cards
Blink and the fairytale falls apart
Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark
Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is-

[Post-Chorus]
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Feelin’ like a psychofreak
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra

My 2 Cents –

There is a lot of days where I feel alone, and like no one understands me. This song makes me feel less so…

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

Send your kisses my way
Bring your sweet heart to me
I’ve been waiting for so long
Tell me all your stories
Leave some open for me
Write your name into this song
I walk through the fire
Run through the rain
I’ll wait for forever
If love is your name
Catch your wind from heaven
Send them while you’re sleeping
Wake me with the morning sun
I’ll dream of you until you come
I walk through the fire
Run through the rain
I’ll wait for forever
If love is your name
Valentines keep knocking
My heart keeps on walking
Darling I’ll hold on for you
For You, for you
I’ll walk through the fire
I’ll run through the rain
I’ll wait for forever
If love is your name
If love is your name
If love is your name

My 2 Cents –

So, last week I shared Dolly doing a Rock song. It brought up a conversation with a friend about how genre limits were not really a thing anymore because Steven Tyler did country and Dolly was doing Rock. My view has always been that limiting your mind based on genre is not a good idea. Why should we limit ourselves and the enjoyment that music brings? I do enjoy this song as well. Steven Tyler has been an amazing voice through most of my life.(My childhood was limited to country music as my mom did not like rock. I was a teenager before I got to hear anything but country or bluegrass music)