Why do we grow out Of saying the most fun Things that can come to mind?
Hurry up and save the toothbrush, Avoid the trip to the planet Made of stench and stinky feet… Be made of turtles if you need to. Why did you stop talking to The monsters in the closet anyway?
Kids understand the world, The wonders that keep it alive… So though they say some of The strangest things, I think the kids see more than Anyone else does in a lifetime.
*Poet’s note. This is absolutely inspired by my friend Jenny’s Dante. She messaged me three things that he said and it reminded me of the moments when my kids were little…and I realized that kids have a magic that we tend to forget by the time adulthood comes.
34 felony counts and still allowed to be the republican nominee for president. He cannot even vote but he could be elected president?
40+ Anti trans bills – just in Missouri.
And that was just what filtered through social media.
There was more but I am trying to not bring others down to the level I am finding myself. I don’t like what humanity is becoming.
The urge to become the witch in the woods grows greater with each passing day.
So I have buried myself in books. Reading because I have been unable to write all week. Instead of Artsy fartsy thursday I think I will tell you about the three lovely books I have gotten to read recently.
Everyone is so busy building walls that we forget the reasons why we try to hide within.
Keeping your heart from feeling, keeping it from breaking, is safer than trying to live don’t you know?
building walls in front of my dreams stops the pain from ever entering, it stops people from touching the tender places that I can’t heal from the other hands that left me broken.
So I know that I have been trying to get back to my usual for this week… and yes… I am scheduling it all on Sunday… but I got as far as Wednesday and I don’t know what to do with it.
I have so much going on, and I know that I can use it for telling you about it… but sometimes it’s not stuff that I know how to share.
This month especially is physically busy. It’s also busy with work. Okay let me explain.
Work is not usually physical for me. Work is writing, editing, and publishing. It can be incredibly mentally taxing. But I am often not up and moving around.
Part of the reason why is that I don’t have exactly good mobility. I will get unable to move if I do too much.
Well, in order for me to have an office…we have to clean out a storage room. Plus I have plans for the weekend to be at Milton Flea market with my resin art and jewelry. (Kiddo is doing yard sale stuff at the same time.) And the chickens are going to be getting a new coop from a old building in the yard – that also needed cleaned out to be useable.
So, I think that I am just overwhelmed and stressed out. Hopefully I can do a good post next week about the flea market.
When you feel that rage (When you feel that) When you feel that rage
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’ve been working towards the goal for most our lives Every challenge that we faced, we have survived Our confidence is growing everyday Finally it is our time to reign
Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart And now I know that this is just the start We will fight for everything we are RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) Rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory We will go down in history So come and play with that rage (that rage)
My 2 Cents –
too many people consider Rage as a variety of anger. Rage is so much more. and at the same time is. Rage is unconscious, uncontrollable, the first instinct when we get backed into a corner…. and yes it is anger, but it is also so much more.
I was once told that I should not be angry about the abuse that I suffered… I was told that I should forgive.
Anger is a safety mechanism. forgiving allows you to forget about the pain caused. It means letting go of righteous pain. that righteous pain built me into the person that I am. it made me empathetic, it made me kind, and it made me aware of the people that exist in this world who are going to hurt others.
I spent my birthday awake…for 28 total hours. Awake. Then I crashed and was allowed to sleep for twelve…woke up feeling sick.(not used to that much sleep at any given time.)
So…That was a fun experience. I was surrounded by love..
I even got writing done, and cover creation – though I was told I should not because I will likely not be able to write all the volumes I have covers for now. You know what? I am too old to be told what to do. I will create covers for books till I die. Because I love doing it.
I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze I’m not sure if I should say this, fuck, I’ll say it anyway Everybody tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase I don’t know if it’s a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah
I battle with depression, but the question still remains Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage? And my doctor tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase Yeah, it’s not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?
Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day And it’s probably ’cause my demons simultaneously rage It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular monster
I think I’m going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze Every wall that I knock down is just a wall that I replace I’m in a race against myself, I try to keep a steady pace How the fuck will I escape if I never close my case?
Oh my God, I keep on stressing, every second that I waste Is another second sooner to a blessing I won’t take But my therapist will tell me that I’m going through a stage Yeah, it’s not a fucking stage, I just wanna feel okay, okay
Motherfucker, now you got my attention I need to change a couple things ’cause something is missing And what if I were to lie? Tell you everything is fine Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified
I fell asleep at the wheel again Crashed my car just to feel again It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular fucking monster
Yeah, here we go again, motherfucker, oh We’re sick and tired of wondering Praying to a god that you don’t believe We’re searching for the truth in the lost and found So the question I ask is Oh, where the fuck is your god now?
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m not a popular, popular monster
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster
My 2 Cents –
There is something awful about this process. That loss of faith. In God, In community, In Self. And it is worse when you are being told that there is something wrong with you at the same time. There is not a damn thing wrong with being a monster. Be a monster, be yourself, Be Unique (10 points if you know where that is from)
Pattimouse 