Serena’s poem this week came from a news story about a child being drowned by their own parent. it’s not an uncommon story…but I’m getting tired and old. I have never been able to understand what drives a parent to kill their kids. I don’t understand why parents abuse their own child either. I have had some issues where I have made mistakes but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the ones that purposely hurt the kids. I don’t understand why.
Innocence is not a reason to hurt. If you can’t handle kids don’t have any. Some people just should not be parents.
I really don’t want to have the discord in my soul that politics brings. However, I have found myself being drawn into the fray a lot more lately.
I purposely did Fighting Ignorance as a volume of political poetry because I found myself actually mad about the political issues that were coming out.
I remember thinking that everyone was pushing me to have opinions on politics when I was trying to survive being a young adult in a world that was trying to destroy me. So I refused to get involved. It did the opposite of what everyone was trying to do.
I wanted nothing to do with the news, because it would add more stress on an already tired me. Terrorism was not the people who came from a far to change my country…it was the nightly news telling me that humans were doing such awful things to each other.
I now see the political climate and wonder why we are going backwards. I read a new bill that will make voting harder for those who are like me. My birth certificate and my drivers license have two different names. My name was changed as a child. It was supposed to be changed on my birth certificate as well and due to a paperwork snafu it was not.
I keep seeing more political issues that make me feel like this country is not a safe place for me to live in, and I have no ability to do anything about it. This is why I hate politics. It engenders fear.
I am going to keep hoping for things to turn out well, I will be voting…even if my voice is probably not going to be heard.(1 live in a red state and with the electoral college in place only 51% of the vote is needed to make the choice. So my voice is likely to be unheard.)
I don’t like politics and I don’t like that I have no voice in the way my life is going to be run.
Terrorism is not always an external thing. Sometimes it’s the nightly news telling you world events.
So I shared a gofundme…and I still recommend it. My youngest will use whatever donations to find themselves a home. My own safety is no longer an issue here. Theirs is not either, but They are no longer happy here. Which is fine.
Mental health issues erupted in my home, and when I pushed back they nearly blew the whole thing to Hell. That has been addressed. Appologies made and conversations had that needed to be. However, I am going to be making changes for my own happiness here. There will be a new studio for my crafts, and an office for my book work. This will take time. But I am willing to work towards it.
Could I be like Alice
Walking through the looking glass?
And if I did would it make my troubles
Bigger or would it make them small?
What is there that we cannot see
On the other side of the mirror
from me?
Though the idea calls to the
Adventurous part of my soul,
I remember the faery tales of old.
If you go uninvited to the places
Where they play,
A heavy price they may take.
I posted a week ago that I was dealing with the death of the family pet. My kid is still in grief mode… And I don’t blame them. I miss my favorite siren. But I don’t handle death well.
I have been upsetting my kid because I have accidentally started to use the cat to refer to Luna. I find myself trying to separate myself from the pain that she is gone.
We had her for five years. I am still struggling to process that she is gone.
Everyone has been offering condolences and I appreciate the thoughts….
But it feels so hollow because it doesn’t bring the pain to an end. That is why I struggle with what I should say when someone else is grieving. I hate that hollow feeling so I don’t want to give it to anyone.
So, Thank you for the well wishes… But I just don’t know what to do with them.
The problem with humanity is not everyone has a mind open to ideas of compassion and kindness…
the mind is not is not fitted with a door meant to close in the things that don’t fit the whole world seen within… instead we have eyes and ears that are supposed to be used to observe all that the world is prepared to throw at the unobservant kind.
Pattimouse 