Category: coping mechanisms

Each life is a book

This week I have been sharing some of the stories of my book. A lifetime of stories lived. Some of the stories I have lived will never be shared – for various reasons…some because they are not my story to tell(I am a mother after all) Some because the trauma prevents. So many lives are books stuck on dusty shelves. Never shared for various reasons. I need to share my stories. As a survivor of childhood sex abuse I felt like my voice was taken from me. For me, telling my stories is empowering. For others it is not. I would never try to force the telling of a life.

However, I also want to be clear. I am always willing to hear the story of the lives you have lived. I devour books like the dragon I am…and if you choose to present me with more to read I will revel in it.

Thank you for allowing me to share the stories this week. For me, it is the best form of immortality. I when I am gone will remain due to the book written by my words.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

I was trying for a sandstorm on a beach at sunset…I swear it looked better in my brain. lol I have found that drawing on a digital medium is more fun, but I am better with pencil and paper. I have more control with a pencil than I do with digital. What medium do you do best with?

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

Ok. I love Abstract art…mostly as an artist. My personal taste in art to hang in my home is Faeries, pagan symbolism, and cutesy stuff. For creating tho…Abstract rocks. When I was starting to allow myself to play with digital creation…I was struggling. I found myself saying too often “but it doesn’t look like…” and it was not helping my self-esteem and my creative nature. It Bloody hurt. I started lessening the standard I was holding my art to. I started creating beautiful swirls and pieces that I could see several things in. The fun thing about abstracts is that everyone sees something different in them. I have since learned a few things and do abstracts because they are fun, but it is not the only art I can create. Sometimes just changing your perspective can help you to create.

Poetry – A day Late

One last week of Chaos

Last week I gave you excuses and the slow dripping of art and poetry for the week. This week I scheduled at the same time…mostly because I don’t believe I am going to have the wherewithal to do better this week. I will try to do better in April. I do want to point out that the poetry I shared was from stuff I have yet to put on pretty graphics. I did want you to see new stuff, but the energy levels I have been keeping as the stress levels have been this high have been abysmal. I have been writing…and I will have some new graphics in April to share. (Those were in previous volumes and ones I had decided not to share originally.) This week I will be sharing some of the book covers I have designed that are still waiting for someone to want them. I will also share more art and poetry. Next week will, for good or ill, see this stress done. I will go back to my normal routine. Thank you again for your patience with me.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

Ok I have a question. What is art? Each person sees art differently. This was photo manipulation. I think of it as art…But I know others will not. When you are looking at creating you need to answer that question for yourself. What do you consider art? It will make creation flow easier if you have the answer.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics –
That’s just what they told me
You could be a patriot
Don’t you love your country?
Don’t you wanna die for it?
How could they enlist me?
I was only seventeen
It’s better to be thankful
Than challenge their authority
This is how the world is
This is how they suck you in
Manipulate the broken
To suffer every consequence
They gave me a machine gun
But I don’t wanna hurt no one
There’s nothing here to fight for
This is someone else’s war
That’s just what they told me
Son, you could be a patriot
Defender of your country
Protector of the innocent
We’ll beat ’em with a clenched fist
By order of your government
They said we were the good guys
But what if we’re the terrorists?
This is how the world is
This is how they suck you in
Manipulate the broken
To suffer every consequence
They gave me a machine gun
But I don’t wanna hurt no one
There’s nothing here to fight for
This is someone else’s war
This is how the world ends
This is how they suck you in
Manipulate the broken
To suffer every consequence
I’m only a statistic
And no one even gives a shit
The treatment for my shell shock
Yeah, they won’t even pay for it
I fired that machine gun
I never meant to hurt no one
And as my friends and foes bleed
We satisfy a rich man’s greed
Maybe I don’t know a damn thing
I’ve never been through anything
This is all I can be
A voice for someone else’s grief
He fired that machine gun
She never meant to hurt no one
‘Cause once you leave a headstone
You never really make it home

My 2 Cents-
This song feels appropriate due to world events. There will always be war, a fact that breaks my pacifistic heart. The soldiers are not to blame for the war, they are just another victim. And I want to cry at the helplessness the whole thing brings. So I will scream that I want peace…I will cry for the lost. And I will hope that the politicians someday hear us.,

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

I got a new sketchbook today. I asked my girl what I should draw to break it in. She said to draw shorts. Her reason? Shorts are a type of pants…and pants are the way of the future and that it would be a good start to a sketchbook.,…

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics

My lover’s got humor
She’s the giggle at a funeral
Knows everybody’s disapproval
I should’ve worshiped her sooner
If the Heavens ever did speak
She’s the last true mouthpiece
Every Sunday’s getting more bleak
A fresh poison each week
“We were born sick”, you heard them say it
My church offers no absolutes
She tells me, “Worship in the bedroom”
The only Heaven I’ll be sent to
Is when I’m alone with you
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
A-, Amen, Amen, Amen
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
If I’m a pagan of the good times
My lover’s the sunlight
To keep the Goddess on my side
She demands a sacrifice
Drain the whole sea
Get something shiny
Something meaty for the main course
That’s a fine-looking high horse
What you got in the stable?
We’ve a lot of starving faithful
That looks tasty
That looks plenty
This is hungry work
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
No masters or kings when the ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin
In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am human
Only then I am clean
Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

My 2 Cents-
this song speaks to me on so many levels. Sex can be both shameful and uplifting depending on the situation. It has been both for me on more than one occasion. I feel like that is what this song is talking about…that moment when sex is everything.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Lyrics
I’m sitting on the floor of my home
Burning everything that I own
Guess I ruined something good again
My life is just a fucked up freak show
It’s the only thing that I know
And I hope it never ever ends
Everybody tells me I need fixing
I think that they don’t know what they’re missing, trust me
That’s just life, kicks you down whenever you try
It laughs when you cry
And keeps on moving ’til you die
It’s okay, it’s alright
It’s just another day in paradise
I spiral in self-deprecation, pity party celebration
Never seeing things for what they are
And sadness tеases my temptation, coming off my medication
Evеrything you need to be a star
Everybody tells me I need fixing
I think that they don’t know what they’re missing, trust me
That’s just life, kicks you down whenever you try
It laughs when you cry
And keeps on moving ’til you die
It’s okay, it’s alright
It’s just another day in paradise
It’s just another day, I know that it won’t change
It’s just another day, it’s just another day
It’s just another day, you’ll find another way
It’s just another day, it’s just another day
That’s just life, kicks you down the harder you fight
It laughs ’til you cry
And keeps on moving ’til you die
It’s okay, it’s alright
It’s just another day in paradise
That’s just life, kicks you down whenever you try
It laughs when you cry
And keeps on moving ’til you die
It’s okay, it’s alright
It’s just another day in paradise

My 2 Cents-
this song is the second song I have heard with the same title. While I enjoy Phil Collins song, this song seems like it fits me better. I have felt like this on more than one occasion.