Category: struggle

Thursday Thoughts

Meme - Overthinking

I think I am misunderstood. Several times lately I have had to explain my desires for Fae Corps.

We don’t generally take erotica…but it is mostly because we do a lot of children’s books and marketing both of them for a small publishing firm is nearly impossible.

The whole reason for Fae corps is because I love books and it is so hard to get your foot in the door as an indie author. The only thing that I limit is the erotica and gore for the sake of gore. I really just try to publish good stories by good people.

I like the idea of seeing unique representation of marginalized or obscure groups. I love publishing poetry that makes people feel or think. I am a sucker for a good kids book, and I would love to publish litrpg stories and or guides. I have a weakness for horror and mystery, sci fi and romance…pretty much anything that is an enjoyable read.

I can’t say that I have some kind of specific thing Fae Corps Publishing is specifically known for. I don’t know if I would want it to be. I feel like there is a lot of Indie firms that are particular. I just want to see good books out im the world.

Thursday Thoughts

Thursday Thoughts
Meme - Overthinking

I am not quiet about my mental illness. I sit and listen to others who need me as often as I can. Mostly because I feel like I am often not heard myself. I scramble to speak, and I am as precise in my language as I can be…because words are important…But there are days when the words leave me.

Sometimes It is easier to advise others than to listen to what you yourself need to hear.

And lately I am finding the words harder than I would like to admit. I have had to make choices for my own mental wellbeing that have left me drained.

So, Like so many others I seek the happy chemicals on the internet. Scrolling, and wishing it was a easy thing to just choose to be happy.

I have work to do.

I refuse to let those who depend on me down. So, I have had my moping period…And now I am done. I have my own plans for what life should be. I have happiness that I will seek out.

So…If you catch me moping again, know it will pass.

I am not here to sit upon a dead ass and be miserable.

What a difference a day makes

Meme - Overthinking

So I shared a gofundme…and I still recommend it. My youngest will use whatever donations to find themselves a home. My own safety is no longer an issue here. Theirs is not either, but They are no longer happy here. Which is fine.

Mental health issues erupted in my home, and when I pushed back they nearly blew the whole thing to Hell. That has been addressed. Appologies made and conversations had that needed to be. However, I am going to be making changes for my own happiness here. There will be a new studio for my crafts, and an office for my book work. This will take time. But I am willing to work towards it.

I don’t often share these…

Meme-emotional description

My kid and I are trying to get a safe place to live…. The place we have now is not safe anymore.

They started a gofund.me…

https://gofund.me/42494e75

Everything helps.

Monday Poetry

Poetry

He is not My friend

By

Patricia Harris

He said he was my buddy,
My brother, my bestie,
Anything to get me closer.
He wanted me to want more,
Wanted me hooked on
What he had in store.

He is not my friend,
He is the chills in the
Middle of the night,

He is not my friend,
He is the last minute
Need to fight.

He is not my friend,
He is my dealer.

Thursday thoughts

Meme - Feeling Invisible

This is the first day of a new month.

New months mean a fresh start from the mess that was July.

This is going to be a busy month.

I have 2 book releases for Fae corps and the deadline for the Anthology Nightmare Whiskers.

It’s also the last month of summer. Which is the one that I want to get as much resin time in as I can.

My kid suggested that I should try to make a TikTok shop for the jewelry I make.

It’s something that I have to think about.

I am thinking that Thursday is going to be a rotation of random things from now on. I rather enjoy the idea of making the reading posts and the art posts but I don’t always have the ability to make such a post every week.

Monday Poetry

Poetry

Lost Notes

By

Patricia Harris

My voice used to sing
A tune of wonder and
The highest moments
Of love for life…

Somehow I have
Lost Notes in my song,
My beat is off and I
Fear that the song no longer
Hits the notes
I once was capable of.

Monday Poetry

Poetry

Behind the mirror

By

Patricia Harris

Could I be like Alice
Walking through the looking glass?
And if I did would it make my troubles
Bigger or would it make them small?

What is there that we cannot see
On the other side of the mirror
from me?

Though the idea calls to the
Adventurous part of my soul,
I remember the faery tales of old.
If you go uninvited to the places
Where they play,
A heavy price they may take.

Who I am,  realized

Meme - I am Done

I posted a week ago that I was dealing with the death of the family pet. My kid is still in grief mode… And I don’t blame them. I miss my favorite siren. But I don’t handle death well.

I have been upsetting my kid because I have accidentally started to use the cat to refer to Luna. I find myself trying to separate myself from the pain that she is gone.

We had her for five years. I am still struggling to process that she is gone.

Everyone has been offering condolences and I appreciate the thoughts….

But it feels so hollow because it doesn’t bring the pain to an end. That is why I struggle with what I should say when someone else is grieving. I hate that hollow feeling so I don’t want to give it to anyone.

So, Thank you for the well wishes… But I just don’t know what to do with them.

Monday Poetry

Poetry

Grief

By

Serena Mossgraves

Wallowing,
in the darkness
allowing the weight
to hold you down…

Perchance it is death
in the moment,
only you have forgotten
how to drown?

when even the breath
is more than you know
how to release,
How is it possible to
find peace in grief?